#SummerPleasure - Fire Him Up!

Contributor: MissManners MissManners
How is stimulating a natural body part gay? Do what feels good to you.
06/14/2012
Contributor: llellsee llellsee
I'm quite squeamish about anal play myself but my husband is into it, I just see it as another form of stimulation, nothing to do with your orientation.
06/14/2012
Contributor: Terri69 Terri69
I don't think anal play equals gay. It all depends on personal preference.
06/14/2012
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by MissManners
How is stimulating a natural body part gay? Do what feels good to you.
You know, it's amazing the ideas people get in their minds.

The Ancient Greeks were all about anal sex. They trained young boys how to be good lovers to their wives and it was just a natural part of it all. Then Christianity took a foothold and kind of derailed all of that and all of a sudden being penetrated meant that you were submissive. If you were male and a submissive (i.e. like anal play) then you obviously weren't very masculine and it was assumed you had an affinity for the mens. In short - it's stupid. That's all there is to it.
06/14/2012
Contributor: ejrbrndps ejrbrndps
I dont find it gay to play with my p-spot. I have a few toys and enjoy playing. If it feels good why not do it. You are only gay if you like the same sex.
06/14/2012
Contributor: kitty1949 kitty1949
My theory has always been if it feels good, do it
06/14/2012
Contributor: TheirPet TheirPet
I enjoy anal play and my partner is really excited about it. We take things slow and feel like open communication and expression of one's wants and needs (as well as what they might not enjoy so much) is very important in a healthy sexual relationship.

It's sad that people have to feel 'wrong' for liking something that is pleasurable just because of some ingrained societal homophobia. A heterosexual man shouldn't be ashamed of having to ask his partner for anal play without being criticized. Perhaps they'd do well to express in Sex Ed classes that it's a normal and perfectly acceptable urge.
06/14/2012
Contributor: NCH NCH
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley


Sex, Stigmas, and Stereotypes. For women, if you tell guys you like to make out with women, someone in the group can usually be heard to shout a perpetual fantasy or a taunt to perform on the spot. For men who like to play with anal toys or ... more
It can feel amazing.
06/14/2012
Contributor: Femme Mystique Femme Mystique
I think this is a very interesting topic and has a lot of talking points. I think anal stimulation for men as an indicator that a man is gay is a very androcentric idea. It glorifies men as penetrators and demeans being penetrated, because that is considered by some to be a "feminine" trait. As a lesbian, I experience androcentrism in a similar way when men make comments about how I must be straight, bi, or have penis envy if I use a strap-on with my girlfriend. I think both of these ideas unnecessarily glorify traditional masculinity, reducing sex to "male acts" and "female acts", ignoring that getting pleasure as a woman with a strap-on or as a man enjoying anal sex has nothing inherently to do with a substitute penis.
06/14/2012
Contributor: quinceykay quinceykay
I would love to try anal play on my boyfriend, but he is really squicky about even doing anal on me, so it's a long way off, if at all...
06/14/2012
Contributor: mlmac mlmac
I love anal play, but I don't consider myself gay. It just feels good, so why not!
06/14/2012
Contributor: kitty377 kitty377
I don't think a guy wanting some anal play is necessarily gay. Joining the eden community has shown me that many straight men enjoy it. I am a girl and I have never encountered a partner who would willing tell me they wanted it incorporated into sex, so I never really thought of it as something straight men do. But here on the forums and reviews on Eden there seems to be a healthy number of men who like it. So why not? I have no problem with it no matter what sexual preferences you hold, do what feels good!
06/14/2012
Contributor: BiLikesSciFi42 BiLikesSciFi42
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley


Sex, Stigmas, and Stereotypes. For women, if you tell guys you like to make out with women, someone in the group can usually be heard to shout a perpetual fantasy or a taunt to perform on the spot. For men who like to play with anal toys or ... more
My boyfriend first brought up anal play. I had never heard the term "pegging" but when he asked me if I would do it, my first thought was "YES!!!" I had always wanted to be the pentrator, not just the penetrated in sex. Pegging was new for both of us; our harness and favorite dildo were one of our first sex toy purchases together. Since then, we've expanded to prostate massagers and using my fingers. Kinda funny, fingers is the LAST thing we tried! For size, we've worked up to 6x1.75 size dildos -- he's ready for something wider!

Of course I also tried anal sex on me for the first time and found that I do enjoy it, although not nearly to the extend he does.

Our first pegging experience was a little awkward. I wasn't used to the motion, I wasn't sure where to put the dildo or how to slide it in. There was a lot of talking and trial and error!

I would recommend a few things: Start small with a dildo, talk a lot, buy lots of thicker water-based lube like Sliquid Booty, and be ready to fail. Failure is OK, it just means you need to try again or find another way. We've found it's best if he's on his back and I kneel in front of him. That way I can watch his face and see everything to make sure we're in sync.
06/14/2012
Contributor: Strawberryshortcake123 Strawberryshortcake123
I think my boyfriend would weird out on me. Such a stigma on it, damn shame.
06/14/2012
Contributor: dustykatt dustykatt
I have known a few men who have enjoyed prostate play. It has nothing to do with being attracted to the same sex. For someone just starting make sure you trust your partner completely. You want the confidence that they will stop right away if you're uncomfortable.
06/14/2012
Contributor: Vaginas Vaginas
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley


Sex, Stigmas, and Stereotypes. For women, if you tell guys you like to make out with women, someone in the group can usually be heard to shout a perpetual fantasy or a taunt to perform on the spot. For men who like to play with anal toys or ... more
wow these look super rad. I'd love to try out exercising my muscles.
06/14/2012
Contributor: AliMc AliMc
I've been curious about anal recently because I'd like my boyfriend to experience a P-spot orgasm, but he's not keen in the slightest so I won't push the issue. I'd like to think that he knows if he was interested, or if he starts to grow fonder of the idea, that he can be open with me about it though. He wasn't much interested in masturbation sleeves until I introduced him to them, then he slowly started to use them on his own without me.
06/14/2012
Contributor: LinToxic LinToxic
I really never understood how gay=anal sex. I know a lot of gay guys who dont even like anal play!
06/15/2012
Contributor: SubmissiveFeminist SubmissiveFeminist
- Do you enjoy pegging, anal penetration, (surface) anal play, extreme anal play at all?

I do enjoy some anal play, but I have to be in the mood for it, honestly.

- Who brought up anal sex or incorporating strokers into play? Did you have difficulty in either the idea being accepted by your partner or maybe a bad experience the first couple of tries?

I definitely had a bad experience starting off with anal sex. The first time I ever tried it, my partner at the time penetrated me without letting me know or asking. Needless to say, I was not amused.

- What kind of advice do you have for those who are just starting out with anal play of any kind?

Use lube and when it doubt, start small!

- Last, but not least; do you know more or less people who think males masturbating with anal stimulation are homosexual or that it makes them homosexual if they like it? What have you done to dispel their belief?

It definitely does not make you homosexual unless you are having sex with people of the same sex and you identify as homosexual. Nothing you can do to yourself is "gay" and nothing a female does to a male is "gay."
06/15/2012
Contributor: jennifur77 jennifur77
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley


Sex, Stigmas, and Stereotypes. For women, if you tell guys you like to make out with women, someone in the group can usually be heard to shout a perpetual fantasy or a taunt to perform on the spot. For men who like to play with anal toys or ... more
I wouldn't mind giving it to him if my S/O was interested.
06/15/2012
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by BiLikesSciFi42
My boyfriend first brought up anal play. I had never heard the term "pegging" but when he asked me if I would do it, my first thought was "YES!!!" I had always wanted to be the pentrator, not just the penetrated in sex. Pegging ... more
Excellent advice! Thank you for posting!
06/15/2012
Contributor: AHubbyof2SexualMinds AHubbyof2SexualMinds
I have been interested in the past, but my wife is not interested at all. We've discussed it several times, but it's a no-go for her. It makes her uncomfortable to think about, and sex should be fun, so why pressure her to do something that is clearly not her tastes?
06/15/2012
Contributor: GONE! GONE!
I don't understand why people would always jump to the conclusion that enjoying anal play would somehow turn into having an attraction towards other men. If someone has a body part that feels good when played with, they should try it out imo.
06/15/2012
Contributor: ADrew ADrew
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley


Sex, Stigmas, and Stereotypes. For women, if you tell guys you like to make out with women, someone in the group can usually be heard to shout a perpetual fantasy or a taunt to perform on the spot. For men who like to play with anal toys or ... more
First off a message to the guys... if you aren't letting your lady play with your ass you are totally missing out. There is no way to even describe the intensity of the orgasms you can get if you let her stimulate your prostate through anal play. Even if you are up for trying a toy let her use her finger. Just make sure you are clean back there before you ask her to do anything for you! Be a gentleman!

Now for the ladies, if you haven't suggested this to your man shame on you! First off there are medical benefits to it in that messaging of the prostate has been proven to help prevent cancer and keep the prostate healthy. Second it feels damn good! You need to bring this up and make sure he knows you don't think it is weird if he likes it.

Use lube, lots of it... start small... and just relax and have fun with it.

My wife brought this up several years ago and am I glad she did. We yes some toys, her fingers, and her tongue. I am working her her using a strap on on me but we haven't quite got there yet. Some day though...
06/15/2012
Contributor: PropertyOfPotter PropertyOfPotter
I don't enjoy any type of anal play, but my husband and I have done a little bit with him on the receiving end. He enjoyed it and it's something that we'll probably be exploring more in the future.
06/16/2012
Contributor: cinnie0 cinnie0
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley


Sex, Stigmas, and Stereotypes. For women, if you tell guys you like to make out with women, someone in the group can usually be heard to shout a perpetual fantasy or a taunt to perform on the spot. For men who like to play with anal toys or ... more
I think anal stimulation is great for males as long as both couples are into it.
06/16/2012
Contributor: Do emu Do emu
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley


Sex, Stigmas, and Stereotypes. For women, if you tell guys you like to make out with women, someone in the group can usually be heard to shout a perpetual fantasy or a taunt to perform on the spot. For men who like to play with anal toys or ... more
We have just started delving into the world of anal, so girth and length are pretty small in comparison to others probably. I've just started using my anal starter kit and have yet to take anything near the size of an average penis.

My partner isn't prejudice against pegging, but we haven't yet tried that either.

I think that anyone who judges or labels a person based on their preferences needs to stop and think about what they're doing, and what that says about them.
06/16/2012
Contributor: KrissyNovacaine KrissyNovacaine
I am slowly easing into anal play done on me (female), my male partners and I have discussed it for them receiving, but it just isn't for them. They have tried it in the past. It's not a homophobic issue in our house at all.
06/16/2012
Contributor: surfer surfer
I have never engaged in anal play. I'm not at all interested -- it's just not one of my pleasure zones. Thankfully my boyfriend feels the same way.
However, I hope people are comfortable doing whatever makes them happy, regardless of silly stigmas.
06/16/2012
Contributor: lillmiss5054 lillmiss5054
Anal play is not gay. We enjoy it and neither of us are. It brings trust and intimacy to a new level.
06/16/2012