Originally posted by
is it cheating if you have a sexual encounter with the same sex and your hubby/boyfriend doesnt know about it?
Of course. If you don't have an agreement that allows both of you to have other partners, it makes no difference if he "knows" or not.
If you steal something and the store doesn't realize it, is it still stealing? It makes no difference if you usually buy Milky Way and you stole
M&Ms. Why would the gender of the person you had sex with make ANY difference? It's still sex, and it's still something that was behind the back of the person you have an implied or legal contract with. (Unless you have an understanding that both of you are allowed to have sex with other people. But, then, you wouldn't be asking.)
The ethics are in the act
AND the idea behind it, and what is a known or implied contract. That's like saying "It's only wrong if you get caught." If it's wrong if or when he finds out, it's still wrong if he doesn't find out
The gender of the person you have sex with makes absolutely NO difference. "It doesn't count because it was an other chick." holds no water. You are still sexually and emotionally involved with a person other than your bf or husband. Unless the two of you have an Open Relationship and allow each other to have sex with other people, WHY would the sex of the "other" person make a single difference?