How do you know when you're really in love?

Contributor: Ash1141 Ash1141
There isn't a simple answer to this. I'm not sure it can even be explained in words but I am most definitely in love.
10/14/2011
Contributor: Jaimes Jaimes
I met my husband when I was in my last semester of high school. There are/were 12 years between us. We met as romantic leads in a play, and when we spoke to one another, it was challenging and fun. I have a lifelong, ridiculous fear-almost phobia, of getting in trouble. It made/makes me a goody two shoes, the teacher's pet; the one never sent to the principal, much less grounded by my parents.

But when I was with Brandon, even though we had to hide, and my heart went through the roof every time my phone rang, thinking that it was someone who caught us; I was willing to risk it. He made me feel like I was in control of who I was going to become, and who I really was at the time, and suddenly, I did everything I could to challenge that fear. That's not to say I finally rebelled, and went around spray-painting buildings and stealing cars, but I was willing to deal with the consequences of being with him, and those irrational fears of being in trouble just weren't as important as what we had.

I was a much more selfish and self-centered person in high school. Not mean, or spoiled, but I didn't have a natural tendency for sympathy, and an insatiable need to succeed and work. True compassion and sympathy just isn't the way my emotions are wired. I could fake it, and be supportive of people, but it always felt like a facade. The long term boyfriend I had before was more of a pet than a companion. Brandon changed that. I suddenly cared very much for someone else, and he made me want to be a better person to the others around me, someone who really could be understanding and gentle, rather than logical and cold.

When I look at him, I see the person I want to be, and the person I want at my side in life. I knew I was in love the moment that first happened.
10/14/2011
Contributor: Vanille Vanille
Just last night confirmed it even further, there's times where you cannot find the right words to express how much you want and need somebody.

-happy sigh-
10/14/2011
Contributor: emilia emilia
Quote:
Originally posted by RammaJamma
It's just one of those things, when you are, you know it.
I agree totally
10/18/2011
Contributor: kitty377 kitty377
I've never actually been in love, I guess I'll just know when it happens
11/06/2011
Contributor: mandaj mandaj
i love my hubby
12/03/2011
Contributor: Owl Identified Owl Identified
I don't really believe in One True Love or anything like that. I believe most of us have the capacity to love many people in our life. It just matters where we are, when we are there, what we're ready for when we're there, and who we happen to meet there etc. It's just...a lot of chance factors coming together in an auspicious way. That's what love is, for me. I'm in love with my partner, but he's not the only one I could love, and maybe not the only one I ever will. I could see myself spending the rest of my life with him, but maybe I won't. I still find romance and loveliness in it all, but I look at it fairly rationally. I don't think rationality and romanticism have to be mutually exclusive
12/03/2011
Contributor: LAndJ LAndJ
For me, it was the point in which I realized I was completely comfortable and didn't feel like I had to hide anything from him anymore or work hard to impress him.
12/05/2011
Contributor: PeachieClean PeachieClean
It's hard to explain but...
I trust him with everything. I don't feel the need to keep things from him because he'll find me suddenly unattractive because I didn't dress up before he came over, or because something I did or made wasn't perfect. I also trust him with other women. The way he treats me tells me that he wouldn't do anything to hurt me.

And, even things that normally bother me about people don't bother me as much with him. Sure, I don't really enjoy repeating myself because he wasn't paying attention, but it hardly bothers me when it's him. Somehow the good things make the negative things seem so small in comparison.

And, with him I enjoy things that I normally dislike. Football, wrestling, movie theaters. I would never choose to watch football or wrestling on my own, and I almost never go to movie theaters. They don't make sense to me, and movie theaters smell like BO and sex. Not hot when you're watching The Lion King. But, if I'm with him, they are enjoyable.

We feel safe and comfortable with each other. No matter what happens, we pull together and stick it out. I guess that's how I know that I'm in love. It's either that or, I'm willing to wait 3 months at a time twice a year while he's at sea. I guess that's a pretty good indicator too.
12/08/2011
Contributor: MAy86 MAy86
I think the answer to that lies in each person, but for me I know I am really in love Because. He knows my deepest secrets and I know his. Things he has never told anyone, but me and the same for me. He knows my faults and my quirky ways and accepts them. And I accept his. We have been through so much already in the short 5 years that we have been together, and have mad it through. I mean we have had some really rough times times where I think most people would have walked away from the other person. We understand neither one of us are perfect, and that is OK. To have a life long relationship last you have to understand that things are not always going to be good. There will not always be happy days, moments filled with joy and bliss. But we know that if we did not have those moments the moments that where good, and happy and full of joy and bliss. Would not seem so great! We look at our grandparents who have made it over 50 years together married. They did not get that far agreeing with each other all the time. I took work and tears, and communication. Even if you are mad or angry to keep calm and listen and let one another speak without yourself speaking over them. Life is not easy and being with another person is not either. But it is not impossible and when you feel that love inside. That is when you know it is real. When you are apart your thoughts are of them. You count the moments when you see one another. Each day you fall deeper in love. Conversations are never dull, you always find something to talk about. Silence is never a good thing break it. Never leave the house upset and stay gone. It is OK to take some space and cool off. Cause you cannot talk like that anyways. Sometimes you have to go to bed mad, but do not leave and start a day still mad or at least make sure you say I love you if someone needs to leave. You do not want something to happen to the other person and wish your last words weren't the ones from the previous night. Make sure it is I love you, even if you do not like them right now. All relationships are hard Parent-ship, Friendship, Partner-ship. None of them are easy, but they all happen for reasons.
02/17/2012
Contributor: destinationtwilight destinationtwilight
Quote:
Originally posted by markeagleone
This may be a hard one to spit out an answer and might bring some reflective thought. I am wondering what brings you to the point of knowing for sure inside your heart.
when you know you know.
02/24/2012
Contributor: jmex83 jmex83
Quote:
Originally posted by markeagleone
This may be a hard one to spit out an answer and might bring some reflective thought. I am wondering what brings you to the point of knowing for sure inside your heart.
I think that really knowing when you're in love is different for everyone. I think that it also takes quite a bit of time to get to know a person well enough to know that their feelings for that person are genuine enough to call it love
02/26/2012
Contributor: Brandonn Brandonn
When your mate is your first thought in the morning and last at night
02/26/2012
Contributor: bsgs bsgs
with my wife, i knew i was in love when i kept thinking about her, about the future, and it almost physically hurt when i wasnt around her. even though we werent having sex for the first 3-4 months we were together, i didnt care, i just wanted to be with her
02/26/2012
Contributor: Hibangel Hibangel
When you know it's the real thing, you just do.
03/02/2012
Contributor: MissCandyland MissCandyland
You just know.
03/13/2012
Contributor: ViVix ViVix
Quote:
Originally posted by markeagleone
This may be a hard one to spit out an answer and might bring some reflective thought. I am wondering what brings you to the point of knowing for sure inside your heart.
I'm not in love. I have someone who is there for me for holidays and sex. He's nice, polite, etc. I'm just not passionate about him.
05/14/2012
Contributor: melissa1973 melissa1973
I don't know yet, I haven't found it and knowing me like I do. I probably never will.
05/14/2012
Contributor: Short Cake Short Cake
It can be hard to explain, I just knew because I had an overwhelming sensation of love,lust, passion, friendship, trust, comfort, safety, it was everything good you could imagine. I still feel it when I look at him. It overflows my heart everyday, and I still get excited every time he comes home from work. When you know you really know!
06/03/2012
Contributor: rekarf rekarf
I know this is cheesey and cliche, but you just KNOW. You can feel it. You act different around them, you're constantly thinking about them. There's just too much that happens to list.
07/23/2012
Contributor: Moniqua Moniqua
You just know. Its a very strong feeling.
07/23/2012
Contributor: SexyStuff SexyStuff
I love my man! I'm sure there are other people I would work well with, but why keep looking for something better when I love what I have?
07/24/2012
Contributor: Trysexual Trysexual
Quote:
Originally posted by SexyStuff
I love my man! I'm sure there are other people I would work well with, but why keep looking for something better when I love what I have?
You just know. For me it is kinda when I know I don't want to be without that person and I hate to be apart (for too long). I think about her all the time and I do chores and nice things for her constantly. Partly because I love her and want to make her happy and the selfish part of me who does it so I have more quality time with her (and she has energy for sex)..haha.

My last GF was someone I could live with, but my current one is someone I can't live without.
07/24/2012
Contributor: milfstatus milfstatus
It's just one of those things, u just know. And can't explain it
07/28/2012
Contributor: SoloJoe SoloJoe
you just know
10/10/2012
Contributor: SaraW0512 SaraW0512
I knew the minute that I met him. We just meshed so well. I was completely comfortable being myself. He puts up with me and I pamper him lol.
10/21/2012
Contributor: Kenneth Fort Kenneth Fort
Quote:
Originally posted by markeagleone
This may be a hard one to spit out an answer and might bring some reflective thought. I am wondering what brings you to the point of knowing for sure inside your heart.
No such thing. You learn to make do.
11/03/2012
Contributor: TransGuy14 TransGuy14
Hard to explain, I guess comfortable.
11/25/2012
Contributor: AwesomeAmanda AwesomeAmanda
I knew when i started making plans for my future, but it was always plans for our future. We would find ourselves making plans and setting goals together without even thinking about it. It was just natural and amazing.
12/02/2012
Contributor: Zandrock Zandrock
When I think about the other persons needs as much as mine. When I respect them as much as I respect myself. When I imagine having them in my life until I die. When the person becomes an essential part of my life (and when all of this holds true from their perspective as well)
12/02/2012