How many women follow their partners, instead of following their heart?

markeagleone markeagleone
Are you following what you really want in life, or being influenced to do things your mate wants. It's a general question so leave your comments. I'm asking about sex, everyday life, work, ect..
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
I follow my own wants
13
I follow my partners wants
3
I follow what I think my partner wants
9
I do both
89
Total votes: 114 (106 voters)
Poll is closed
02/11/2011
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markeagleone markeagleone
Quote:
Originally posted by markeagleone
Are you following what you really want in life, or being influenced to do things your mate wants. It's a general question so leave your comments. I'm asking about sex, everyday life, work, ect..
I believe most women make too many exceptions for their man(I say man because it's the only experience I have to draw from,so please don't take offense). I think women put a lot more into child raising,household work and also give more when it comes to making love. I just want to get to know the people in the community more and know how people feel!
02/12/2011
Naughty Student Naughty Student
We have an egalitarian relationship, where we both take care of family chores. It tends to be a little one sided at times which is normal. Who ever is working the hardest during the week shouldn't be expeceted to do chores. When I am in exam period my guy will take care of everything. If I'm home all week with nothing to do then I will take the responsability of the chores.

I give a lot when we make love, I give him oral sex, masturbate him, dress up for him. But he does all the effort of making me cum which is not an easy feat. o in the end its all good.
02/12/2011
SexyTabby SexyTabby
I put both because when it comes to sex I have the lead but that's about the only thing I have total control of. Most house, work & kids stuff is I do my share he does his. When it comes to decisions, where to go, what to buy, even what's for dinner I usually give Hubby the lead. Think we've been together so long we pretty much know what the other is going to say or want so it's easy to be comfortable with his decisions. That and he tends to choose what I would say anyway.
02/12/2011
danellejohns danellejohns
I believe that in our relationship it is 50/50. I voted both though because honestly there are times where I may do things just because its easier than explaining why I don't want to, although that is rare.

I don't see our relationship as one giving more than the other. I see it more like one day or even week one gives more and the next day/week it is reversed. I think it really does come down to how you define things-where you may see that things are skewed one way, the other may see it the complete opposite.

For the record My heart & partner are one in the same
02/12/2011
PussyGalore PussyGalore
We both do what we're best at when the need arises. I don't really know how to say it any better than that. There's not a specific division of responsibility, we both step up when we're needed. It just so happens that my expertise leans a little more on the domestic side and his on the bread winner side.
02/12/2011
bunny love bunny love
Quote:
Originally posted by markeagleone
Are you following what you really want in life, or being influenced to do things your mate wants. It's a general question so leave your comments. I'm asking about sex, everyday life, work, ect..
Overall, we just want each other to be happy, so we make a point to seek out a happy balance when we disagree about something.

We take care of each other and look after each other. I don't want him to do anything that he doesn't want to do and vice versa.
02/12/2011
potstickers potstickers
We both do what will make the other happy, which is usually a cycle so we're almost serving our own interests at the same time.
02/13/2011
Red Vinyl Kitty Red Vinyl Kitty
I follow my heart by following my husband.
02/13/2011
Emma (Girl With Fire) Emma (Girl With Fire)
Quote:
Originally posted by markeagleone
I believe most women make too many exceptions for their man(I say man because it's the only experience I have to draw from,so please don't take offense). I think women put a lot more into child raising,household work and also give more when ... More
I have to agree. I work hard to keep my partner happy, but I expect them to reciprocate. I think it you are not equally committed to making your partner happy and the relationship functional then it is doomed to either end or become miserable complacency.

Unfortunately I have not come across very many men who are willing to do the work. It is pretty much a 50's era "I provide, you provide me with happiness, if you have a house, and money to buy the groceries and clothes with, I don't see what you are complaining about" type of mindset. Not cool at all.
02/13/2011
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by markeagleone
Are you following what you really want in life, or being influenced to do things your mate wants. It's a general question so leave your comments. I'm asking about sex, everyday life, work, ect..
I follow my own conscience and wants but I give heavy creedence to my partner(s) wants, needs and desires.
04/17/2011
Redboxbaby Redboxbaby
I express my own desires, but marriage is about compromise and I know that there are times he wants different things than I do. If a choice has to be made, depending on the situation, one of us always compromises. It is not always 50/50 when it comes to things, but come on, you gotta admit boy toys are WAY more expensive than the average girl toys are.

All kidding aside, we do make compromises everyday for one another. We take care of each other. It isn't about me doing all the housework or taking care of the kiddo or giving him a blow job when he wants it. Things need to get done and I am available to take care of them, only because my husband is working his ass off in a job he isn't particularly fond of and bringing home a nice paycheck to afford our lifestyle and our retirement.

I find the more I give him the things he wants and needs (emotionally, sexually, physically) I get it back tenfold! However, he never demands anything of me.
04/17/2011
indiglo indiglo
I have very strong opinions and ideas and I'm not afraid to express them openly. However, anyone in a relationship has to learn how to balance doing what they want with doing what their partner wants. I think we both try our best to do that, and succeed pretty well!
04/17/2011
Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Quote:
Originally posted by Redboxbaby
I express my own desires, but marriage is about compromise and I know that there are times he wants different things than I do. If a choice has to be made, depending on the situation, one of us always compromises. It is not always 50/50 when it ... More
Nice - that is indeed how it works - when it works well.
04/18/2011
PersonalAngel PersonalAngel
we talk about everything.
04/18/2011
melianofvalinor9 melianofvalinor9
I am not so selfish that it's all about me but I don't put my needs to the back burner. It has to be a give and take relationship to work.
05/05/2011
Anjulie Anjulie
I think like most things in life, it is about compromise and balance. In the end, I would rather be with my partner than doing anything else. And we both want the other to be happy--So for me the trick is to not see doing something for them as a sacrifice, but as a step towards a long and happy relationship--which is somethign we both want.
05/05/2011
froggiemoma froggiemoma
i do a little , but after a 9 yr marriage of following and not listening to my own heart i am more aware of my own needs and wants
05/18/2011
js250 js250
Quote:
Originally posted by markeagleone
Are you following what you really want in life, or being influenced to do things your mate wants. It's a general question so leave your comments. I'm asking about sex, everyday life, work, ect..
I follow what I think my partner wants sometimes when I know what I want will definitely cause a huge conflict. I have become seriously more assertive about my absolute needs and wants in the last year since I was in a life altering incident, but it does take time. It is all about re-evaluating and balancing. Pick your issues.
06/14/2011
Ms. Spice Ms. Spice
relationships are a two way street, so you really have to be considerate of both your wants and their wants.
08/25/2011
PeachieClean PeachieClean
With a S.O. in the military, it seems like a lot of following him, but I am getting a degree in massage and accomplishing everything I've planned for myself as well. Neither of us would be very happy if everything was one-sided.
12/08/2011
geliebt geliebt
My previous partner ended up holding me back and keeping me from doing new things. I've found my current partner through doing things that I love and so we facilitate each other in trying new things and certainly right now, I don't feel the need to stifle myself to keep him happy.
01/04/2012
SexyStuff SexyStuff
A combination. Hard to find a balance sometimes.
01/04/2012
MamaDivine MamaDivine
I think that its super important to take care of both ends of the spectrum. I do both personally. I try things that I think he might like. If he doesn't then we move onto the next thing. There are times when I do what I want/like and he follows suit. It depends on the mood and what items or situations we are trying out for the first time. Trial and error and most important...COMMUNICAT ION!
01/31/2012
destinationtwilight destinationtwilight
Quote:
Originally posted by markeagleone
Are you following what you really want in life, or being influenced to do things your mate wants. It's a general question so leave your comments. I'm asking about sex, everyday life, work, ect..
If you don't live for yourself you will never please anyone else.
02/24/2012
destinationtwilight destinationtwilight
Quote:
Originally posted by SexyStuff
A combination. Hard to find a balance sometimes.
Definitely hard to find a balance.
02/24/2012
jmex83 jmex83
Quote:
Originally posted by markeagleone
Are you following what you really want in life, or being influenced to do things your mate wants. It's a general question so leave your comments. I'm asking about sex, everyday life, work, ect..
I definitely take my partners wants and needs into consideration, but I also follow my own wants and needs too. There always has to be some sort of happy medium and working together to make sure that both are taken care of
02/26/2012
Brandonn Brandonn
Both
02/26/2012
Hibangel Hibangel
Both here also.
03/02/2012
wildorchid wildorchid
I believe that relationships are healthiest with compromise. My boy is very much an individual, he enjoys keeping some things private from me and I from him. Eventually he shares things with me and I am starting to realize it is always a lot better when he is comfortable telling me things in his own time than when I pry him for answers. I have my own private thoughts as well. I love being in this kind of relationship, it is freeing and yet somehow brings us closer at the same time. It is a very satisfying thing.
03/02/2012
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Total posts: 54
Unique posters: 52