I'm not sure if there is a poll out there about this, but I am very comfortable among this community and find it easy to share and be an active member but I am wondering if this is true for most members as well.
Just wondering how comfortable you feel in the Eden Fantasys when it comes to expressing your opinions, asking questions, or sharing personal experiences in the Forum?
Just wondering how comfortable you feel in the Eden Fantasys when it comes to expressing your opinions, asking questions, or sharing personal experiences in the Forum?
Quote:
Depends on the topic. For the most part, I am but certain topics I have to censor myself a bit for personal reasons, mostly not having to do with eden. I love the sex positive community we have here.
Originally posted by
Waterfall
I'm not sure if there is a poll out there about this, but I am very comfortable among this community and find it easy to share and be an active member but I am wondering if this is true for most members as well.
09/07/2010
There are certain topics I avoid because I feel that they shouldn't be given as much attention as they already have been, and because I don't want to add to any drama already going on. But there are also some topics that I hold back on because of some personal reasons and don't feel comfortable sharing.
Otherwise I absolutely love everything about the community and how positively sex positive the whole thing is.
Otherwise I absolutely love everything about the community and how positively sex positive the whole thing is.
09/07/2010
I voted "Kind of" because there are some topics I stay away from commenting on simply because I don't want to offend anyone, so I choose not to comment. This doesn't happen often at all, but I have seen cases where thing get heated if someone is a little too honest, and would rather avoid a situation like that. I am, however, totally comfortable sharing my experiences. I have nothing to hide, since I've already made a "name" for myself on the 'net, if you will. I've already come to terms with what will happen if someone I know does find me.
09/07/2010
I feel complerely comfortable. I'm already a very open person "in real life" whether it be expressing an opinion or talking about sex, but even more so on here because I've made myself anonymous. I didn't make myself anonymous for any reason except safety reasons, otherwise I'd still be open
09/07/2010
Quote:
For the most part I am very comfortable. There are a few threads I just don't reply to. "Why do you or don't you shave your pubes?" kind of stuff. It invariably leads to someone using the word "dirty" or "disgusting" about the people who have every right not to shave if they don't want, then someone starts with the rather insulting "hidden pedophile" aspect of those who do, and it's a mess that I usually chose to stay away from.
Originally posted by
Waterfall
I'm not sure if there is a poll out there about this, but I am very comfortable among this community and find it easy to share and be an active member but I am wondering if this is true for most members as well.
Also, some threads are just too personal. I share a lot, but there are things I DO keep to myself.
Like many, I don't want to add to too much drama.
09/07/2010
Waterfall-in what respect? Are we comfortable with the people in the community and the ability to openly share or the safe site aspect? I must say after some controversy here a few months back and learning of some things that I don’t really understand about the site, I became concerned about anonymity. For some of us it is critical that we be unidentifiable. I’ve decided I trust EF and their ability and understanding that I, like many others, need to be safe. As far as the community, it took me some time and I seem to have annoyed some people but I am not in the least bit concerned about sharing or stating my opinion as long as it doesn’t disclose my identity. As with any community, it’s not what you say but how you say it. EF does a great job of policing the community and reminding all of us that we need to respect each other. Frankly I’m continually amazed at how supportive, open minded and understanding of others this community is.
09/08/2010
I'm pretty darn comfortable in this community. I don't share all of my opinions, but if I feel I have something to say, I'm very likely to say it. I'm careful with my tone and wording, but I'm not paranoid about it. Misunderstandings happen and I welcome the chance to explain myself better or whatever the situation calls for. I do sometimes avoid topics, not because I'm worried about expressing my opinion or thoughts but because I don't think I have anything I feel like contributing.
09/08/2010
I am pretty comfy, but being so young (well i feel young and old at the same time lol) and the fact i used to be so conservative and somewhat still am, i hold my tongue with a lot of things to be polite. Last i need is drama and all, ya know? Plus who's to say I am right with anything I have to say? So I tend to steer clear of certain subjects.
09/08/2010
I'm reasonably comfortable too, but I'm not confrontational. I just try to respect everyone's opinion, it's just how it is worded sometimes that can be offensive to some, not necessarily the topic that is being discussed. I can't stand drama either, so I tend to stay out heated discussions, unless I think I can contribute a neutral, rational, level-headed response.
09/08/2010
I feel comfortable here too. I think the best approach is to remember your "party manners" - meaning be respectful, open-minded, considerate, and so on. It's one big conversation made up of many small conversations, and everyone can have their say.
Sometimes, I don't get involved in threads where I am either going to echo the sentiments of others without much more to add, or where I am just not on the same page as the opinions on the thread but my differences have nothing productive to contribute to that particular conversation. It really just depends - but it's never because I feel censored or unwelcome. Simply my own judgment on whether to weigh in.
Sometimes, I don't get involved in threads where I am either going to echo the sentiments of others without much more to add, or where I am just not on the same page as the opinions on the thread but my differences have nothing productive to contribute to that particular conversation. It really just depends - but it's never because I feel censored or unwelcome. Simply my own judgment on whether to weigh in.
09/08/2010
Overall, I am pretty comfortable. I enjoy anonymity, primarily for anti-stalk and awkward hey-don't-I-know-you?! reasons. So, because I'm not a public figure, I don't mind putting myself "out there" when it comes to personal stuff.
However, I am starting to feel uncomfortable about some things, like flagging and expressing personal opinions. I realize that we're all people here (including the staff) and that we all have opinions to which we are entitled, but some things that get posted I find REALLY offensive and not okay. And when I try to bring this up, the offense I've taken is ignored or deemed emotional. I've stated my offense thrice, flagged only once, and not once has anything been done (not even an apology). So, I'm starting to fear backlash from Admins and from fellow contributors. The effect is that I'm becoming less and less willing to post on the forum.
I hope this post doesn't get anyone riled up. I'm only sayin'.
However, I am starting to feel uncomfortable about some things, like flagging and expressing personal opinions. I realize that we're all people here (including the staff) and that we all have opinions to which we are entitled, but some things that get posted I find REALLY offensive and not okay. And when I try to bring this up, the offense I've taken is ignored or deemed emotional. I've stated my offense thrice, flagged only once, and not once has anything been done (not even an apology). So, I'm starting to fear backlash from Admins and from fellow contributors. The effect is that I'm becoming less and less willing to post on the forum.
I hope this post doesn't get anyone riled up. I'm only sayin'.
09/08/2010
Quote:
I still think the best policy is to stick to experiences and avoid opinion - especially in religious or social matters.
Originally posted by
kck
Overall, I am pretty comfortable. I enjoy anonymity, primarily for anti-stalk and awkward hey-don't-I-know-you?! reasons. So, because I'm not a public figure, I don't mind putting myself "out there" when it comes to personal stuff.
However, I ...
However, I ...
Overall, I am pretty comfortable. I enjoy anonymity, primarily for anti-stalk and awkward hey-don't-I-know-you?! reasons. So, because I'm not a public figure, I don't mind putting myself "out there" when it comes to personal stuff.
However, I am starting to feel uncomfortable about some things, like flagging and expressing personal opinions. I realize that we're all people here (including the staff) and that we all have opinions to which we are entitled, but some things that get posted I find REALLY offensive and not okay. And when I try to bring this up, the offense I've taken is ignored or deemed emotional. I've stated my offense thrice, flagged only once, and not once has anything been done (not even an apology). So, I'm starting to fear backlash from Admins and from fellow contributors. The effect is that I'm becoming less and less willing to post on the forum.
I hope this post doesn't get anyone riled up. I'm only sayin'.
However, I am starting to feel uncomfortable about some things, like flagging and expressing personal opinions. I realize that we're all people here (including the staff) and that we all have opinions to which we are entitled, but some things that get posted I find REALLY offensive and not okay. And when I try to bring this up, the offense I've taken is ignored or deemed emotional. I've stated my offense thrice, flagged only once, and not once has anything been done (not even an apology). So, I'm starting to fear backlash from Admins and from fellow contributors. The effect is that I'm becoming less and less willing to post on the forum.
I hope this post doesn't get anyone riled up. I'm only sayin'.
09/08/2010
Quote:
I am not attacking you... I am curious, especially because this affects my team and people I manage. Are you sure that nothing has been done? We've dealt with a lot of flags and emails lately (and have even suspended an abusive contributor), and Kristi has diligently replied to all of them. If you have further concerns, I strongly suggest you email Kristi.
Originally posted by
kck
Overall, I am pretty comfortable. I enjoy anonymity, primarily for anti-stalk and awkward hey-don't-I-know-you?! reasons. So, because I'm not a public figure, I don't mind putting myself "out there" when it comes to personal stuff.
However, I ...
However, I ...
Overall, I am pretty comfortable. I enjoy anonymity, primarily for anti-stalk and awkward hey-don't-I-know-you?! reasons. So, because I'm not a public figure, I don't mind putting myself "out there" when it comes to personal stuff.
However, I am starting to feel uncomfortable about some things, like flagging and expressing personal opinions. I realize that we're all people here (including the staff) and that we all have opinions to which we are entitled, but some things that get posted I find REALLY offensive and not okay. And when I try to bring this up, the offense I've taken is ignored or deemed emotional. I've stated my offense thrice, flagged only once, and not once has anything been done (not even an apology). So, I'm starting to fear backlash from Admins and from fellow contributors. The effect is that I'm becoming less and less willing to post on the forum.
I hope this post doesn't get anyone riled up. I'm only sayin'.
However, I am starting to feel uncomfortable about some things, like flagging and expressing personal opinions. I realize that we're all people here (including the staff) and that we all have opinions to which we are entitled, but some things that get posted I find REALLY offensive and not okay. And when I try to bring this up, the offense I've taken is ignored or deemed emotional. I've stated my offense thrice, flagged only once, and not once has anything been done (not even an apology). So, I'm starting to fear backlash from Admins and from fellow contributors. The effect is that I'm becoming less and less willing to post on the forum.
I hope this post doesn't get anyone riled up. I'm only sayin'.
(and *Hint Hint* for everyone here - over the last 2 weeks, we have internally revised the Expectations of Conduct and will be posting about that soon)
09/08/2010
Quote:
Re my flagging of a contributor's post: I did some e-mailing back and forth with an Admin, and the flag was, to my knowledge, dismissed since I was told that the contributor's post was not offensive. In fact, another contributor who had also taken offense and stated as much was given a warning. I was even reprimanded when I quoted the EOC to justify the flag.
Originally posted by
Victoria
I am not attacking you... I am curious, especially because this affects my team and people I manage. Are you sure that nothing has been done? We've dealt with a lot of flags and emails lately (and have even suspended an abusive contributor), and
...
I am not attacking you... I am curious, especially because this affects my team and people I manage. Are you sure that nothing has been done? We've dealt with a lot of flags and emails lately (and have even suspended an abusive contributor), and Kristi has diligently replied to all of them. If you have further concerns, I strongly suggest you email Kristi.
(and *Hint Hint* for everyone here - over the last 2 weeks, we have internally revised the Expectations of Conduct and will be posting about that soon)
(and *Hint Hint* for everyone here - over the last 2 weeks, we have internally revised the Expectations of Conduct and will be posting about that soon)
And on the other counts, yes nothing was done. In one case, a contributor (who had previously taken issue with some wording and who was thus deemed to be "negative") specifically called attention to the offense I had taken and defended me from those who thought my reaction was silly. In another, someone else flagged a contributor's response to me as "I think an apology may be helpful," and--even though I had stated my offense--no apology was offered... which leads me to believe that the flag was reviewed and deemed "unoffensive" as well.
I do appreciate the review process and the pains the staff makes to ensure that the forum is a place to openly discuss opinions--really, I love that about EF. However, I think that sometimes the "not wanting to step on anyone's toes" attitude gets in the way, as those who were offended have nothing done to mitigate such offense. In my very limited experience with flagging, I basically learned that offense is handled subjectively and that flagging someone else can lead to being punished yourself.
09/08/2010
Quote:
+1... I am more on the liberal side of things, but I choose not to talk about certain things just for the fact that it all boils down to everyone's personal preference. When it comes to sex I love being able to be open and comfortable on here, and I don't get embarrassed talking about things that I would other wise be afraid to bring up.
Originally posted by
Goth
I am pretty comfy, but being so young (well i feel young and old at the same time lol) and the fact i used to be so conservative and somewhat still am, i hold my tongue with a lot of things to be polite. Last i need is drama and all, ya know? Plus
...
I am pretty comfy, but being so young (well i feel young and old at the same time lol) and the fact i used to be so conservative and somewhat still am, i hold my tongue with a lot of things to be polite. Last i need is drama and all, ya know? Plus who's to say I am right with anything I have to say? So I tend to steer clear of certain subjects.
09/12/2010
Quote:
Anonymity is also important for me. I make comments here on subjects I never discuss with my friends or family members. I must admit that I am still cautious, but becoming less so.
Originally posted by
Heather
Waterfall-in what respect? Are we comfortable with the people in the community and the ability to openly share or the safe site aspect? I must say after some controversy here a few months back and learning of some things that I don’t really
...
Waterfall-in what respect? Are we comfortable with the people in the community and the ability to openly share or the safe site aspect? I must say after some controversy here a few months back and learning of some things that I don’t really understand about the site, I became concerned about anonymity. For some of us it is critical that we be unidentifiable. I’ve decided I trust EF and their ability and understanding that I, like many others, need to be safe. As far as the community, it took me some time and I seem to have annoyed some people but I am not in the least bit concerned about sharing or stating my opinion as long as it doesn’t disclose my identity. As with any community, it’s not what you say but how you say it. EF does a great job of policing the community and reminding all of us that we need to respect each other. Frankly I’m continually amazed at how supportive, open minded and understanding of others this community is.
10/04/2010
Quote:
I'll only am comfortable with certain issues.
Originally posted by
Waterfall
I'm not sure if there is a poll out there about this, but I am very comfortable among this community and find it easy to share and be an active member but I am wondering if this is true for most members as well.
10/05/2010
Gosh...I've been 'away' for a long time. Going through a really difficult time, the end of a 17 year marriage, and though the end began over 4 years ago, I still don't really understand what happened, or why.
Eden kept me going at first, gave me something to occupy my days, let the brain get a little exercise. But eventually depression kicked in severely enough I lost interest in...everything, really. I've always been a voracious reader, loved off-kilter TV and movies, played games and cards with friends, ice skated, painted, wrote, did needlework and embroidery, chatted with friends constantly on the phone, loved eating out; but as my marriage slipped further away, so did my interest in and energy for everything. I literally spent about a year curled up on the couch, wrapped in a blanket, with my beloved bulldog on my lap, and just waited for each day to end. Never even turned on the TV, picked up a magazine, put on some music; checked email once a week or so. But I usually checked Eden, too, just to see what was new and exciting. Watched some old friends disappear, and saw some interesting new people arrive. But that's it. Well, ok--checked Sephora, too. Sex and makeup held my attention for at least a little while each week, and that's more than I can say about anything else. Got up at 9:00 or 10:00 every morning, showered, got dressed, then sat and waited for bedtime. I only saw sunshine because I had to take the dog out; I waited until dark to check the mail because I didn't want to risk any neighbors talking to me. Doctors fed me pills to 'help;' I guess they did in a way, since I'm still here to write this--I won't say they kept me sane, they just kept me numb enough to survive. For a generally anti-social creature, I had a solid circle of around a dozen friends in the area who'd been around for more than a decade, and put up with the wreck I'd become for the sake of the happy woman they used to know. Eventually, though, I got so bad it started to affect them; I was constantly surrounded by a cloud of pain and anger and confusion and hopelessness that smothered anybody near me. So I left my friends, for their sakes.
Slowly, eventually, I started pulling back together--more for the people who loved me than for myself. I'm still pretty broken, but not totally shattered anymore. The actual divorce process is beginning, and, well, it sucks. Badly. Seriously, if you've never divorced, I don't recommend it. Having my constant partner become my opponent is harder than I ever imagined anything could be. He stopped by today to get his mail, and he hugged me tight; I told him I love him, and that I wanted to punch him for putting us through this and not just being happy. Then I gave him a little kiss on the head and he left.
(to be continued...)
Eden kept me going at first, gave me something to occupy my days, let the brain get a little exercise. But eventually depression kicked in severely enough I lost interest in...everything, really. I've always been a voracious reader, loved off-kilter TV and movies, played games and cards with friends, ice skated, painted, wrote, did needlework and embroidery, chatted with friends constantly on the phone, loved eating out; but as my marriage slipped further away, so did my interest in and energy for everything. I literally spent about a year curled up on the couch, wrapped in a blanket, with my beloved bulldog on my lap, and just waited for each day to end. Never even turned on the TV, picked up a magazine, put on some music; checked email once a week or so. But I usually checked Eden, too, just to see what was new and exciting. Watched some old friends disappear, and saw some interesting new people arrive. But that's it. Well, ok--checked Sephora, too. Sex and makeup held my attention for at least a little while each week, and that's more than I can say about anything else. Got up at 9:00 or 10:00 every morning, showered, got dressed, then sat and waited for bedtime. I only saw sunshine because I had to take the dog out; I waited until dark to check the mail because I didn't want to risk any neighbors talking to me. Doctors fed me pills to 'help;' I guess they did in a way, since I'm still here to write this--I won't say they kept me sane, they just kept me numb enough to survive. For a generally anti-social creature, I had a solid circle of around a dozen friends in the area who'd been around for more than a decade, and put up with the wreck I'd become for the sake of the happy woman they used to know. Eventually, though, I got so bad it started to affect them; I was constantly surrounded by a cloud of pain and anger and confusion and hopelessness that smothered anybody near me. So I left my friends, for their sakes.
Slowly, eventually, I started pulling back together--more for the people who loved me than for myself. I'm still pretty broken, but not totally shattered anymore. The actual divorce process is beginning, and, well, it sucks. Badly. Seriously, if you've never divorced, I don't recommend it. Having my constant partner become my opponent is harder than I ever imagined anything could be. He stopped by today to get his mail, and he hugged me tight; I told him I love him, and that I wanted to punch him for putting us through this and not just being happy. Then I gave him a little kiss on the head and he left.
(to be continued...)
10/07/2010
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