#SexIs - #DevilsAdvocate - Should “Creep Shaming” be a thing?

It seems to me that someone in their life, be it friend or family (or a judge ) would make some effort to say "hey, that's not cool. Ladies don't like that and the ones that do you probably don't want".


Someone (a friend, family member OR judge) may have said just that. But not all people care to behave in appropriate, socially acceptable ways.

You make a good point about serial killers and rapists sometimes being very charismatic and NOT setting off bells or alarms though. That only makes me think that we aren't calling ENOUGH men creepy! lol (Not really.) Part of life is knowing that we aren't clairvoyant wizards, and we can't know the outcome of every situation. All we can do is try to be aware and alert... like P'Gell said, we can't control other people's behavior. So we just do the best we can to stay alert and the rest is luck & happenstance I suppose. less

I have met plenty of creeps, but I am a HORRIBLE creep myself. When I meet someone that I want to be friends with, my first instinct is to follow them around and steal their things when they aren't looking. (I have since learned to control this urge and, you know, ask them their name and talk to them about their hobbies or something.)

Do I think that it's unfair when people find me creep? No, because I'm acting creepy. I also don't yell, publicly humiliate, or want people to not be allowed outside because they are creepy.

I think that that's the difference in slut shaming and not wanting to sit next to some fuck who keeps trying to grab your thigh. Slut shaming is when you don't like someone because of how they 'treat' themselves, but not liking someone because they're creepy is not liking them because of the way that they're treating YOU.

Your body and the way you are treated is up to you. You never have to be treated in a way you don't want, and should always be 'allowed' to remove yourself from an uncomfortable situation. less

As posted in other places, I'm kind of a nerd. I'm a gamer nerd. Do you know what the hardest part about being a nerd is? Social skills amoung non-nerds.

Their social skills pretty much start by being ridiculed and being called names...like "creep" in school. The sad thing is that very VERY few of these guys know when they've crossed a line. How long is it ok to look at a girl? When is the proper time to talk to them? Do you give them a gift first? If so, what kind of gift? Look at the rom-coms (romantic comedies). Sadly, they aren't too far off on the social awkwardness. But when the geek in glasses actually gets the girl, that's what some guys dream about. That being said, it's all fantasy. That's almost the ONLY source of interpersonal information some creepy nerds get.

Now, I'm not talking sexual deviants or 40 year old guys with comb-overs in clubs. I'm talking about the genuinely socially awkward. If someone has one of those lost souls doting after them, don't run to the cops or publicly decry "CREEPER BE GONE!". Look them in the eye, out of the public eye if possible, and say "Dude, you're crossing a line. Thank you for your compliments about my hair, eyes, and everything else, but I'm just not interested in you. You've looked at my eyes twice in the 4 minutes you were oggling me. That's not the way to get a girl. Now, please leave me alone."

The issue has to be addressed of what they're doing and why it's wrong. Maybe give suggestions on how to NOT be creepy...they obviously aren't getting any help from anyone.

Getting back to the guy whose name is on a list and has a comb over obvious to the blind...be blunt and direct. If they don't take "stop touching me" seriously, feel free to discourage said behaviour with a gentle knee to the groin or kick to the shin. It's totally legal. They invaded your space and you were defending yourself after telling them to stop.

I really hope there are women out there who understand we're all human and all come from different backgrounds, some not as social as others. As a guy, I can absolutely assure you that 99.99999% of men do not wake up thinking "I think I'm going to oppress someone today". less

As posted in other places, I'm kind of a nerd. I'm a gamer nerd. Do you know what the hardest part about being a nerd is? Social skills amoung non-nerds.

Their social skills pretty much start by being ridiculed and being called names...like "creep" in school. The sad thing is that very VERY few of these guys know when they've crossed a line. How long is it ok to look at a girl? When is the proper time to talk to them? Do you give them a gift first? If so, what kind of gift? Look at the rom-coms (romantic comedies). Sadly, they aren't too far off on the social awkwardness. But when the geek in glasses actually gets the girl, that's what some guys dream about. That being said, it's all fantasy. That's almost the ONLY source of interpersonal information some creepy nerds get.

Now, I'm not talking sexual deviants or 40 year old guys with comb-overs in clubs. I'm talking about the genuinely socially awkward. If someone has one of those lost souls doting after them, don't run to the cops or publicly decry "CREEPER BE GONE!". Look them in the eye, out of the public eye if possible, and say "Dude, you're crossing a line. Thank you for your compliments about my hair, eyes, and everything else, but I'm just not interested in you. You've looked at my eyes twice in the 4 minutes you were oggling me. That's not the way to get a girl. Now, please leave me alone."

The issue has to be addressed of what they're doing and why it's wrong. Maybe give suggestions on how to NOT be creepy...they obviously aren't getting any help from anyone.

Getting back to the guy whose name is on a list and has a comb over obvious to the blind...be blunt and direct. If they don't take "stop touching me" seriously, feel free to discourage said behaviour with a gentle knee to the groin or kick to the shin. It's totally legal. They invaded your space and you were defending yourself after telling them to stop.

I really hope there are women out there who understand we're all human and all come from different backgrounds, some not as social as others. As a guy, I can absolutely assure you that 99.99999% of men do not wake up thinking "I think I'm going to oppress someone today". less

As posted in other places, I'm kind of a nerd. I'm a gamer nerd. Do you know what the hardest part about being a nerd is? Social skills amoung non-nerds.

Their social skills pretty much start by being ridiculed and being called names...like "creep" in school. The sad thing is that very VERY few of these guys know when they've crossed a line. How long is it ok to look at a girl? When is the proper time to talk to them? Do you give them a gift first? If so, what kind of gift? Look at the rom-coms (romantic comedies). Sadly, they aren't too far off on the social awkwardness. But when the geek in glasses actually gets the girl, that's what some guys dream about. That being said, it's all fantasy. That's almost the ONLY source of interpersonal information some creepy nerds get.

Now, I'm not talking sexual deviants or 40 year old guys with comb-overs in clubs. I'm talking about the genuinely socially awkward. If someone has one of those lost souls doting after them, don't run to the cops or publicly decry "CREEPER BE GONE!". Look them in the eye, out of the public eye if possible, and say "Dude, you're crossing a line. Thank you for your compliments about my hair, eyes, and everything else, but I'm just not interested in you. You've looked at my eyes twice in the 4 minutes you were oggling me. That's not the way to get a girl. Now, please leave me alone."

The issue has to be addressed of what they're doing and why it's wrong. Maybe give suggestions on how to NOT be creepy...they obviously aren't getting any help from anyone.

Getting back to the guy whose name is on a list and has a comb over obvious to the blind...be blunt and direct. If they don't take "stop touching me" seriously, feel free to discourage said behaviour with a gentle knee to the groin or kick to the shin. It's totally legal. They invaded your space and you were defending yourself after telling them to stop.

I really hope there are women out there who understand we're all human and all come from different backgrounds, some not as social as others. As a guy, I can absolutely assure you that 99.99999% of men do not wake up thinking "I think I'm going to oppress someone today". less

As posted in other places, I'm kind of a nerd. I'm a gamer nerd. Do you know what the hardest part about being a nerd is? Social skills amoung non-nerds.

Their social skills pretty much start by being ridiculed and being called names...like "creep" in school. The sad thing is that very VERY few of these guys know when they've crossed a line. How long is it ok to look at a girl? When is the proper time to talk to them? Do you give them a gift first? If so, what kind of gift? Look at the rom-coms (romantic comedies). Sadly, they aren't too far off on the social awkwardness. But when the geek in glasses actually gets the girl, that's what some guys dream about. That being said, it's all fantasy. That's almost the ONLY source of interpersonal information some creepy nerds get.

Now, I'm not talking sexual deviants or 40 year old guys with comb-overs in clubs. I'm talking about the genuinely socially awkward. If someone has one of those lost souls doting after them, don't run to the cops or publicly decry "CREEPER BE GONE!". Look them in the eye, out of the public eye if possible, and say "Dude, you're crossing a line. Thank you for your compliments about my hair, eyes, and everything else, but I'm just not interested in you. You've looked at my eyes twice in the 4 minutes you were oggling me. That's not the way to get a girl. Now, please leave me alone."

The issue has to be addressed of what they're doing and why it's wrong. Maybe give suggestions on how to NOT be creepy...they obviously aren't getting any help from anyone.

Getting back to the guy whose name is on a list and has a comb over obvious to the blind...be blunt and direct. If they don't take "stop touching me" seriously, feel free to discourage said behaviour with a gentle knee to the groin or kick to the shin. It's totally legal. They invaded your space and you were defending yourself after telling them to stop.

I really hope there are women out there who understand we're all human and all come from different backgrounds, some not as social as others. As a guy, I can absolutely assure you that 99.99999% of men do not wake up thinking "I think I'm going to oppress someone today". less

I have met plenty of creeps, but I am a HORRIBLE creep myself. When I meet someone that I want to be friends with, my first instinct is to follow them around and steal their things when they aren't looking. (I have since learned to control this urge and, you know, ask them their name and talk to them about their hobbies or something.)

Do I think that it's unfair when people find me creep? No, because I'm acting creepy. I also don't yell, publicly humiliate, or want people to not be allowed outside because they are creepy.

I think that that's the difference in slut shaming and not wanting to sit next to some fuck who keeps trying to grab your thigh. Slut shaming is when you don't like someone because of how they 'treat' themselves, but not liking someone because they're creepy is not liking them because of the way that they're treating YOU.

Your body and the way you are treated is up to you. You never have to be treated in a way you don't want, and should always be 'allowed' to remove yourself from an uncomfortable situation. less

Should “Creep Shaming” be a thing?, by Roland Hulme! - Click here to read Roland's article about the topic after discovering the Men's Rights category on Reddit.com.



Okay, so you may be asking yourself "what the hell is creep shaming?". According to one Redditor it is thus:

Creep shaming is probably one of the most insidious and anti-equality things you can do. The ability to label men as "creepy" is just one privilege that women enjoy, and a constant source of fear of ostracizing that all men must fear in our society.

Our discussion topic is simply this:

Women: How do yo handle men who come on too strong or say really awkward things that make the hair on the back of your neck stand up on end? Has brushing off a creep ever ended badly for you?

Men: Were you ever taught how to not be a creep by either a peer, a parent, or a woman in your life? What were you doing at the time that was considered so over the line? less

I have met plenty of creeps, but I am a HORRIBLE creep myself. When I meet someone that I want to be friends with, my first instinct is to follow them around and steal their things when they aren't looking. (I have since learned to control this urge and, you know, ask them their name and talk to them about their hobbies or something.)

Do I think that it's unfair when people find me creep? No, because I'm acting creepy. I also don't yell, publicly humiliate, or want people to not be allowed outside because they are creepy.

I think that that's the difference in slut shaming and not wanting to sit next to some fuck who keeps trying to grab your thigh. Slut shaming is when you don't like someone because of how they 'treat' themselves, but not liking someone because they're creepy is not liking them because of the way that they're treating YOU.

Your body and the way you are treated is up to you. You never have to be treated in a way you don't want, and should always be 'allowed' to remove yourself from an uncomfortable situation. less

Here's my response to the article:

Really? THIS is a thing? Women get raped, men get..... "offended." Women avoid creepy behavior as a survival tactic and talk about it to warn our fellow women, do y'all not get that?

PLENTY of men do not act creepy, and are never called creepy. Me thinks some men proteseth too much. Being called "creepy" is completely avoidable. (Unlike, say, being called a "whore" or even a "dyke" simply because you rebuff some creepy guy's unwanted advances....)

The answer is in your article; "“Men are afraid women will laugh at them. Women are afraid men will kill them.”

That's it.

For the record, I'm not going to "educate" some guy who I am in fear of being raped or harmed by. What the FUCK kind of idea is this?

As for it being on par with "slut shaming." No. It isn't. Men label women "sluts" due to their dress, or actions, or even because that particular women obviously HAS a sex life, but won't give THIS particular guy any part of that sex life. (We DO have the right to CHOOSE our own sex partners and decline invitations. When those declines are ignored.... you're being creepy if you continue!)

"Slut" behavior (or the perception of such) doesn't pose any real threat to men. "Creep" behavior poses a HUGE emotional, psychological and physical threat to women.

Fuckin' deal with it. Don't BE a creep and you'll have nothing to complain about in this area.

Jeez. Are we really discussing this, as if it were.... whatever? less

Here's my response to the article:

Really? THIS is a thing? Women get raped, men get..... "offended." Women avoid creepy behavior as a survival tactic and talk about it to warn our fellow women, do y'all not get that?

PLENTY of men do not act creepy, and are never called creepy. Me thinks some men proteseth too much. Being called "creepy" is completely avoidable. (Unlike, say, being called a "whore" or even a "dyke" simply because you rebuff some creepy guy's unwanted advances....)

The answer is in your article; "“Men are afraid women will laugh at them. Women are afraid men will kill them.”

That's it.

For the record, I'm not going to "educate" some guy who I am in fear of being raped or harmed by. What the FUCK kind of idea is this?

As for it being on par with "slut shaming." No. It isn't. Men label women "sluts" due to their dress, or actions, or even because that particular women obviously HAS a sex life, but won't give THIS particular guy any part of that sex life. (We DO have the right to CHOOSE our own sex partners and decline invitations. When those declines are ignored.... you're being creepy if you continue!)

"Slut" behavior (or the perception of such) doesn't pose any real threat to men. "Creep" behavior poses a HUGE emotional, psychological and physical threat to women.

Fuckin' deal with it. Don't BE a creep and you'll have nothing to complain about in this area.

Jeez. Are we really discussing this, as if it were.... whatever? less

I think this is a hard topic because every women has a different idea of what a creepy guy is. to some women it isn't as bad as it is to others. Labeling a guy based off of how he acted to another women is partially wrong, just as is how one guy may call a women a slut for her clothing choice while another sees nothing wrong with it. This is a very grey area I think calling a guy who invades what you find to be your personal space is okay, but to go out of your way to bring shame to the guy I think is a form of harassment. less