#SexIsSocial - Rape Isn't A Consequence

Contributor: MrsandMrbunnysoffun MrsandMrbunnysoffun
It is so sad the way society looks at things. No one really deserves to be raped unless they did the raping... then well
04/23/2013
Contributor: BrittaniMaree BrittaniMaree
Yes. People regularly blame the victim in sexual assault as if rape is some sort of punishment for not abiding by society's rules.
06/13/2013
Contributor: UrNaughtyaAngel UrNaughtyaAngel
unfortunately victims to get treated as if they did something to deserve the rape, but I do believe that society is changing its way of thinking. Well at least the community i am in.
06/14/2013
Contributor: dual-stim-lover dual-stim-lover
I was sexually assaulted in 2003 by a long time friend turned live-in boyfriend kind of thing. Well he was apparently a very controlling guy. I don't know what made me stay with him for so long but that morning he assaulted me I drove him to work (I had the only working car) and I called my best friend sobbing while i was still in his parking lot though out of sight. He helped me move into his house that very day while my rapist/ex-friend was at work. I stayed there a week before moving back home with my parents. I was terrified to move back home since he knew where I grew up, he lived just down the street while we were school-age. But for a long time I blamed myself. I actually have PTSD from it. It's mostly gone now after 10 years but for many years it was very strong and disabling to me.

I do not feel I put myself in that situation even though I was living with him and sexually active with him. I still wish I would have just got up and attempted to walk out of that room when he was "punishing" me for making a lame joke about the length of time he lasts during sex. He demanded me to perform oral sex on him and I kept telling him NO. Over and over again. Then the next morning he stood in front of me while I was peeing on the toilet and demanded it again. All pissed off still about that dumb comment I made. I kept yelling NO. Anyway I gave in because I was terrified he would hit me (or worse). Well anyway that was that I I left his ass. I used to worry that he would break into our home in teh middle of the night to kill me or something.

Long story short, there is no way in hell anybody deserves to be sexually assaulted (or assualted in any way shape or form!) You may wear skimpy outfits, be extra flirtatious, change your mind about things, so be it. Guys (and women) need to respect that. If they don't respect that you need to quickly get the hell out of there no matter what. You need people around you and in your life who respect you. I don't keep people around who don't respect me since that incident. Ever. I am saddened that some people believe that there are times that women deserve it. It shows they are psychopaths and they need mental rehabilitation and court ordered medication. Sometimes I wish there were disclaimers tattooed on people's foreheads stating the kind of people they are. Sorry for the long post. I guess I just felt I needed to share all of that. I keep things bottled up a lot and seeing this forum post and poll I felt I needed to respond.
06/26/2013
Contributor: No-nita No-nita
I hate when people say "Well if you put yourself in that situation..." no one KNOWINGLY puts themselves in a room with a rapist. The only thing that causes rape is rapists and that's where the blame needs to be placed.

Thank you for being brave enough to share your story, dual-stim-lover; I was raped by one of my long-time-friends-turn ed-boyfriend as well and as much as everyone would like to believe that rapists are very easily spotted, a lot of the time you just don't know until it's too late. I too have PTSD from the whole ordeal. I'm happy to hear that you don't blame yourself; a lot of women struggle with that... and we shouldn't. No one should ever be made to feel like someone else's violent actions are their fault.

It makes me incredibly sad to hear people in this thread who blamed themselves. I am so sorry.
06/26/2013