#TheMood - #SexIs - 50 Shades of Setting the Mood

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#TheMood - #SexIs - 50 Shades of Setting the Mood

Ansley Ansley


Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve undoubtedly heard about the new book “50 Shades of Grey” by E.L. James. In case you haven’t, it’s a story about a woman becoming submissive to a man. And that in no way fully describes the book, I know.
What this book has done is bring erotica in some form or fashion into the spotlight of our national culture. I was flying back from a meeting last week, and stopped to buy a magazine for the plane, and three separate women in front of me were buying the book. What amazed me was not that three people in one line were buying a book, but that it was about sex and BDSM, and they were doing so without blushing or trying to hide their identity.

- AHubbyof2SexualMinds

Read the complete article here to find out how this couple's love life got a boost



Erotica in the mainstream is something that is relatively new. Anne Rice tried to turn the tides when she released the Sleeping Beauty series, but it didn't really take a strong foothold. This may be because the acts in those novels are quite hardcore to a lot of people and some of them could be viewed as a little off-putting as there was a far amount of same-sex sex. Back when those novels were released, the LGBT movements were just gaining a spotlight in the media.

Fifty Shades of Grey opened an avenue for one couple to enjoy and express themselves freely, maybe it could do the same for you.

Has erotica ever sparked a really intense play session between you and your partner? What is the kinkiest thing you've ever done?
Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):
Have you read the novels?
chantalgiardina
1
Yes!
The Amber May , Zombirella , Nora29714 , Rey , sexykiss , Fiona
6
Not yet, it's on my list though!
Short Cake , CaliGirl , Loriandhubby , Kitka , LaSchwartz , Rayne Millaray , lovekink , wonderwifey , chantalgiardina , TheSinDoll , Heatherbipoly , TheirPet , legna , licious
14
Not really interested, but I think it's cool nonetheless.
humblepie , darthkitt3n , unfulfilled , Kindred , Ryuson , Heatherbipoly , brighteyesbeautiful , petite-n-sweet
8
.
Petite Valentine , Lady Neshamah , lilly555 , Wide Awake Daydream
4
Do you think this will help or hurt the kink community?
chantalgiardina
1
I think it will help!
Short Cake , CaliGirl , Loriandhubby , LaSchwartz , Zombirella , Nora29714 , Kindred , chantalgiardina , brighteyesbeautiful
9
I'm not really sure, one way or the other.
The Amber May , humblepie , Kitka , Rayne Millaray , lovekink , EdenUser , darthkitt3n , unfulfilled , P'Gell , Ryuson , TheSinDoll , lilly555 , Fiona , legna , licious
15
No, I don't think it'll have an impact.
..
Petite Valentine , Lady Neshamah , Wide Awake Daydream , petite-n-sweet
4
Have you seen anyone reading the books in public or buying a copy?
chantalgiardina
1
Yes, when I purchased my copies.
The Amber May , CaliGirl , Kitka , LaSchwartz , Nora29714
5
No, I haven't seen anyone with a copy.
Short Cake , ghalik , Loriandhubby , Zombirella , Rayne Millaray , lovekink , darthkitt3n , unfulfilled , Kindred , P'Gell , Ryuson , chantalgiardina , TheSinDoll , lilly555 , Wide Awake Daydream , Fiona
16
My friends have copies, but I don't.
chantalgiardina , TheSinDoll , Lady Neshamah , licious
4
Uh...never thought to ask?
brighteyesbeautiful , legna
2
Other (the llama option!)
ghalik , Petite Valentine , petite-n-sweet
3
Total votes: 93 (34 voters)
Poll is closed
05/31/2012
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ghalik ghalik
My opinions weren't options on the first two questions. I haven't read them and there is no way I ever will. I think the books hurt the BDSM community's public perception because the stories are so inane and stereotypical. I haven't seen a physical copy of the book anywhere.
05/31/2012
humblepie humblepie
Quote:
Originally posted by ghalik
My opinions weren't options on the first two questions. I haven't read them and there is no way I ever will. I think the books hurt the BDSM community's public perception because the stories are so inane and stereotypical. I haven't ...
Same! The fact that they're glorified fanfics really turned me off, and then hearing that the dynamic is somewhat abusive pretty much sealed the deal for me. At least we're getting some visibility from this, but I really wish it was with a better-written book that did a better job of portraying BDSM.
05/31/2012
Loriandhubby Loriandhubby
I have had several friends ask me if i have read the book. Everyone seems to be intrigued by it. I even heard the DJ on the radio talking about bondage and the book.
05/31/2012
Kitka Kitka
My husband bought me the set already but I'm trying to finish up the book I've been reading first before starting in on them. Some people we know have read them and our friends have heard of the books but I haven't yet seen anyone reading them in public, just people buying them at the same time hubby did.
05/31/2012
Zombirella Zombirella
Some people hate the trilogy, others like it. I am one of the ones that liked it. But I'm new to erotic novels and I don't participate in Dom/Sub behavior. It wasn't as intense as I was expected and by the second book I was reading it for the suspense not the sex. Some of these scenes are steamy though. It does portray an unrealistic start into BDSM which can lead people that haven't looked the term up on their own to believe everyone starts this way. I understand some people are offended by it. I'm on the final book at the moment.

But I will admit that reading this sparked my interest in other ways. I have since purchased an under the bed restraint set, twisted love ties, Wartenberg pinwheel, sex sling and doggy style sling and a pair of handcuffs. Those things sparked my interest and seem erotic and fun to me. I don't know if I would have wanted to buy these things without reading the book but it did get me curious. But only light things, no pain and no being a slave to my guy, ever. So, they could help spark the interest of us 'boring vanilla' people to some point.
05/31/2012
Nora29714 Nora29714
Quote:
Originally posted by Zombirella
Some people hate the trilogy, others like it. I am one of the ones that liked it. But I'm new to erotic novels and I don't participate in Dom/Sub behavior. It wasn't as intense as I was expected and by the second book I was reading it for ...
Same here... I am currently in seach of metal ben wa balls with a string
05/31/2012
Zombirella Zombirella
Quote:
Originally posted by Nora29714
Same here... I am currently in seach of metal ben wa balls with a string
I have the Bedroom Kandi balls but would like metal ones. I haven't found corded ones and I'm still not comfortable using them without a cord.
05/31/2012
Nora29714 Nora29714
I read mine at work all the time. with no care in the world. I am not shameful. and if someone has a problem with that oh well don't look at me, I'm not fourcing you to read it...
05/31/2012
Carrie Ann Carrie Ann
Quote:
Originally posted by ghalik
My opinions weren't options on the first two questions. I haven't read them and there is no way I ever will. I think the books hurt the BDSM community's public perception because the stories are so inane and stereotypical. I haven't ...
I'm not sure how you can be of the opinion that the stories are inane and stereotypical but not have read them? Maybe I'm not understanding correctly?


As for my personal opinion, I"ve read the first one and it was... okay. The voice is sort of juvenile but the author does an excellent job of portraying the emotions of a new relationship and of a new D/s type relationship. I'd prefer if they didn't make the characters seem somehow fucked up for their tastes but, just as in the movie The Secretary, this is a huge part of why the vanilla world can read it and not feel threatened. It makes it "okay" for them to read the book, leaves them an out - even though in reality it's turning them on and spurring them to buy BDSM gear and try out kink.

And that? Is a good thing, even if the way it's happening is not ideal.

Just my two cents, of course.
05/31/2012
lovekink lovekink
I haven't read it yet, it's actually in the mail. I don't know what has interested me in it but I figured if so many people are really enjoying it how bad could it be?
05/31/2012
EdenUser EdenUser
I hear it's a pretty bad book and not because it's pretty much adult porn.
05/31/2012
Petite Valentine Petite Valentine
I've had tons to say about 50, but it's all in this thread.

A few contributors have challenged those of us who criticize the books, but haven't read them, however I am of the opinion that I don't need to suffer through the entirety of E.L. James masturbatory fantasy to pronounce it crap. The multiple excerpts on the web are laughably bad. I read authors like George R.R. Martin and Sebastian Junger. I'm not going to suddenly lower my standards because it's porn.

Also, 50 started life as Twilight FanFic. That makes it ethically challenged in my eyes.
05/31/2012
Jaimes Jaimes
You know, I don't have an opinion on how it might help or hurt the kink community, since I'm not really part of that community. I am one of your more vanilla types.

But what I am happy to see is this book making sex OKAY for the public. I feel like people are so hush hush and shameful when it comes to saying they enjoy sex, or admitting they do have kinkier thoughts. Obviously, that is not the case here on Eden, where the wild words flow freely, but when I am talking to my real world acquaintances, they are very hesitant to be candid or honest about the fact they LIKE and HAVE sex. They like to hide behind the polite agreement that everyone knows, but they don't tell. Everyone and their mom is reading a SMUT BOOK out in public! How great is that? On trains, planes and automobiles, at cafes and on the treadmill, people are seeking out erotic literature and they aren't ashamed to do it.

That is what I appreciate this book for. The writing isn't my style, but I'm a picky, snobby, elitist reader. I'll admit that. But just like Sex and the City, we now have something erotic that is mainstream, safe, and even popular! People are letting down their guards and joining the sex-positive revolution. I'm always going to be in favor of that, even if I don't care for the material that helps them get there.
06/01/2012
P'Gell P'Gell
As I haven't read it, I can't have a real opinion on it either way.

From what I have heard, the reason Gray is "kinky" is that he was abused as a child? I'm SO tired of that stereotype.

But, if it opens some people's minds to the fun scenes you can get into, even with "light" BDSM, then maybe it will help the community. However, if people think you have to be "fucked up" to participate, it will harm the S&M community.

I don't know if I will read them. Funny, my husband has heard of these books, and he's pretty much out of the literature loop. I guess a lot of the guys at work have wives who are reading it.

But, in the end. I can't judge a book without reading it.

As for the "it used to be a fan fic and she published it and you aren't supposed to do that." (add a whine for effect as well as a "why didn't I think of doing this?" ) I honestly couldn't care less about this aspect of the book, one way or the other.
06/01/2012
Carrie Ann Carrie Ann
Quote:
Originally posted by Jaimes
You know, I don't have an opinion on how it might help or hurt the kink community, since I'm not really part of that community. I am one of your more vanilla types.

But what I am happy to see is this book making sex OKAY for the ...
I want a like button for this post!

It's saying something that one of my best friends from MIDDLE SCHOOL recommended this book to me on Facebook.

I haven't seen this girl in 20 + years. She has no idea about my lifestyle choices. But she recommended the book to me. That stuff like that is happening, that people are feeling that okay about reading what is classified as erotica...

It's a good thing.

No one HAS to read it but, sheeesh, I don't get why they have to be so snooty about the fact that some people are enjoying it. Not your taste? Move on. Go read the authors who are. But there's no reason to make those who are enjoying it feel crappy when it IS doing so much for sex positivity in so many ways.
06/01/2012
wonderwifey wonderwifey
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley


Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve undoubtedly heard about the new book “50 Shades of Grey” by E.L. James. In case you haven’t, it’s a story about a woman becoming submissive to a man. And that in no way fully describes the book, ...
It has not yet, but soon will! lol
06/01/2012
Ryuson Ryuson
I agree that it's really helping people open up to new ideas, sexually. It's starting a conversation that maybe people wouldn't otherwise want to have. It's letting couples have a reason to bring up adding things into the bedroom, which I think is absolutely awesome.

On the other hand, it's a story that sounds awful and cliche, it's something that I would get no enjoyment out of reading, it does not show a healthy way to develop a BDSM lifestyle, and it does not really explain things in a realistic manner.

It also has way too many shitty grammar mistakes and spelling errors for me to be able to read it.

So... I think that it's great for our society, but I wish that this had happened with a different book that portrayed BDSM in a different light and that didn't have a Mary Sue and a Mary Stue as main characters.
06/01/2012
chantalgiardina chantalgiardina
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley


Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve undoubtedly heard about the new book “50 Shades of Grey” by E.L. James. In case you haven’t, it’s a story about a woman becoming submissive to a man. And that in no way fully describes the book, ...
i have not read it but i have seen a lot of people on facebook talking about it... it's on my to do list.
06/01/2012
TheSinDoll TheSinDoll
I've heard a ton of kink friends that are not impressed with it at all. I've heard it referred to as a BDSM version of Twilight. Hell, I loved Twilight. Still, I can't say one way or another until I've read the books, which I really want to do.

I did see an episode of Dateline where they linked 50 Shades to a man into BDSM whose wife was murdered. He is a person of interest. The media attention it's getting is interesting if nothing else.
06/01/2012
Ansley Ansley
I really have no interest in reading them, actually. Mainstream erotica is stripped of its soul on the editor desk, I'll write my own.
06/01/2012
Rey Rey
most of my social circle has read them, and i'm resisting (just to rebel
06/05/2012
Illusional Illusional
I just started the first one, and I can see how it would lead to some unrealistic standards and hopes.

I'll let you know as it progresses.
I like his intensity, I like his character.. and I agree with P'Gell, if more people can open up and try new things, why the hell not?
06/06/2012
legna legna
I love reading.
06/07/2012
hmiller87 hmiller87
hmmm interestinggggg.
06/11/2012
petite-n-sweet petite-n-sweet
I work for a bookstore, and I can say I have seen all types of people buying this book. It's quite surprising actually. I've also seen lots of people returning it. The negative feedback I have gotten is that it is either too kinky, or it is poorly written.

I think the extra attention to the BDSM community is both good and bad. It is good because it helps mainstream society become more comfortable with its presence. It can be bad because it can cause negative stereotypes.

I am happy that BDSM is a little more mainstream, but I honestly prefer what Rhianna did with the song S&M than what the Grey series has done. At least people can say, catchy song, what is she talking about? Ooooh... rather than, poorly written *and it's about BDSM.* (Because of Grey?,) people have been making the generalization that the kink community is not as educated as 'vanilla' adults.
06/12/2012
Total posts: 26
Unique posters: 22