Swingers / Polyamorists, your thoughts?

  • Get FREE 5 Gifts with Orders $59+

Swingers / Polyamorists, your thoughts?

Sarah Sloane Sarah Sloane
I'd love to know how those of you who consider yourself swingers, polyamorists, or both would explain the difference to people who are unfamiliar with the ins & outs of non-monogamy...
04/28/2009
  • Buy 3 Items for $70
  • Buy 3 Items for $50
  • Buy 3 Items for $30
  • Save 20% on Luxury Toys
  • Add Some Buzz To Your Favourite Toy & Save 60% On Kit
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
All promotions
Red Red
My husband and I are non-monogamous. I call myself a polyamorist, and I would call my husband that as well, although left to his own devices he would just be monogamous.

"Swingers" seems to be a classification that poly folks almost "pooh-pooh", at least in my local community. The difference between the two is one of definitions and extremes. At the exteremes, Someone who sport-f*cks is a swinger, someone who brings extra people into their life and family is a polyamorist. Unfortunately, however, most people fall into the spectrum in between, or move around as to where they stand, which can make it hard to exactly state the difference between the two.

I kind of like to think of swinging as a subset of poly. Polyamory is the ability and inclination to form meaningful intimate relationships with many people. That can look like a lot of things, including swinging. Swingers like to have sex with other people as a passtime - but they can certainly form meaningful and intimate relationships too. Swingers seem to be generally hetero couples, but perhaps that's changing.

Interested to hear other thoughts.
04/28/2009
RoxieRiot RoxieRiot
Yeah, I usually think of swinging as much more casual than polyamory. Although there are definitely casual hookups within poly communities, I think a big difference is in the communication that goes on around those hookups. I think of poly as being very communication-focused; I call myself polyamorous, and I'm very into checking in with partners before doing anything like hooking up with someone. I think of swinging as more of a free-for-all where you just kind of have a general pass to hook up with whomever, whenever. (Assuming you find people to hook up with, of course!)

The communication operates on the assumption that you care about your partner(s)'s feelings enough to consider changing your hookup trajectory if they have serious objections. I don't know that that would be the situation in a swinger's arrangement.
05/02/2009
Sarah Sloane Sarah Sloane
Quote:
Originally posted by Red
My husband and I are non-monogamous. I call myself a polyamorist, and I would call my husband that as well, although left to his own devices he would just be monogamous.

"Swingers" seems to be a classification that poly folks ...
I have the same issue of poly folk in the community who want to separate themselves from the swingers, even though many of the poly folk I know are more open about casual sex. The sad thing is that both communities are dealing with a lot of the same issues, and yet there is a big separation there ... I hope that the more people that talk about swinging in a positive light, the less likely we are to hear the negative comments back and forth.
05/12/2009
bodymodboy bodymodboy
Quote:
Originally posted by Sarah Sloane
I'd love to know how those of you who consider yourself swingers, polyamorists, or both would explain the difference to people who are unfamiliar with the ins & outs of non-monogamy...
I'm polyamorous, and I think the difference would be some swingers are in a couple (or single) and just want sex. But I know many swingers who ended up going into polyamory after finding another partner and keeping in touch with the individual they had sex with. I am also called polyfidelous, because I am strictly in a triad that all three of us are dating and neither of us want to see an outside relationship from that.
05/13/2009
Maleplaym8 Maleplaym8
I have yet to come across any one who is polyamorous yet.I would not personally say swinging is a sport f**k.Even though some people i have met. Want as much dick in as short a time poss. But for most swingers its about quality.But I can see where the sex is great and you also hit it of emotionally you could end up polyamorous

For me I wonder where I fall as both myself and wife play on the scene as a couple and as singles we both have our own regular fuck buddies who we have great sex wiht but also socialise with. Either at swing events or just going out for a drink and a meal.
03/17/2010
Total posts: 6
Unique posters: 5