This has been touched on by other people in other posts, but I'm going to make a thread about it to see if others agree with me. I find the "Sex toys for women," "Sex toys for men," "Sex toys for couples," "Lesbian sex toys," and "Gay sex toys" links very weird and old-fashioned. Mainly, I think they imply far too much. Just a few examples off the top of my head...
--There are only two genders: women and men.
--There are only three sexual orientations: straight (the invisible, un-named orientation), lesbian, and gay, and they are all separate.
--A man is a person with a penis (penis pumps, masturbators, fake vaginas) and a woman is a person with a vagina.
More specifically...
--The lesbian section includes double-ended dildos. The "couples" section doesn't. I'd say two women using a double-ended dildo = a couple.
--"Vibrators for lesbian." Because lesbians need their own category of dildos (this is a mirage, but still).
--Lesbian BDSM? Seriously? Gay BDSM? Seriously?
--"Women" never put anything in their butts, but gay people do. Not lesbians, just gay people (I guess gay men?). Oh, "men" use prostate massagers. Not butt plugs, not probes... just prostate massagers.
I could go on and on... but I think I've made my point. I'm puzzled as to why these strange categories are still around when there are clearer ones like "vibrators" and "harnesses" available. I assume the categories were created to give newcomers a sense of inclusion, so they could think "oh, I'm a woman! I'll click on 'sex toys for women!'" But to me, that doesn't make sense, because sex toys don't usually have a gender/sexual orientation attached to them, or a specific gender/sexual orientation that the user should be. Now I'm just getting confusing, so I will stop. :)
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"Sex toys for women," etc.
& the gender spectrum. & the sexual orientations seem endless. I know Essin Em could provide a lot of insight on this. I feel smarter & more informed after reading a lot of her blogs. :)
I've always found that strange as well. Hopefully that will be addressed in an update. I'm glad there are so many changes happening! Reply
I've always found that strange as well. Hopefully that will be addressed in an update. I'm glad there are so many changes happening! Reply
2 months ago
I'm in total agreement, Epiphora. I've been bothered by those categories for awhile, and you touched on many of the reasons why I think they need to go. Basically, (biological or genetic or hormonal, etc.) sex is not gender, is not sexual orientation, etc. etc. I'm all for simple categories by toy type.
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2 months ago
I do not like those categories. I think we need to list toys by category, not WHO we think might use them.
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2 months ago
I think for beginners, these categories can be very helpful. We all know a thing or 2 about sex toys, now, but for anyone who might be very new it can be difficult to discern the intended use for a toy. Let's face it, some sex toys look alien and without a little help to figure out what it's for, what should be an exciting shopping experience can turn into a miserable one.
Does it imply something? Absolutely. Is it right to make those implications? It's a little hazy, I'll give you that. But is it helpful? Without a doubt. Reply
Does it imply something? Absolutely. Is it right to make those implications? It's a little hazy, I'll give you that. But is it helpful? Without a doubt. Reply
2 months ago
Just to add another thought, however, I do think it would continue to prove helpful if some of those categories were perhaps restructured so that "Sex Toys for Women" became smaller groupings which consisted of products aimed for specific body parts (for example vaginal, clitoral, nipple toys, etc). These categories already exist, I believe so it wouldn't be an entire act of recreation.
I do see why the current titles could be bothersome but perhaps some people are just overthinking something which it just meant to be functional. Reply
I do see why the current titles could be bothersome but perhaps some people are just overthinking something which it just meant to be functional. Reply
2 months ago
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I know it's meant to be functional, but it's antiquated.
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Originally posted by Adriana Ravenlust
Just to add another thought, however, I do think it would continue to prove helpful if some of those categories were perhaps restructured so that "Sex Toys for Women" became smaller groupings which consisted of products aimed for specific body parts...
2 months ago
Weird, it ate the rest of my post...
I know it's meant to be functional, but it's antiquated. You could say that I'm overthinking it, of course, but I'm just trying to see it from the perspectives of people who could be put off by the categories immediately because they don't fit into them. I am lucky enough to be cisgender, so seeing "Sex toys for Women" doesn't really bother me, but I'm pansexual, and that's not represented or acknowledged at all.
If the "Sex toys for Women" category were to be changed like that, it would still be leaving out people who identify as women but may not have vaginas or clits. I think there is a better way that beginners could be introduced to toys through, perhaps, more generic toy guides that explain types of vibrators/dildos/anal toys etc. Basically, the guides would explain sub-categories for the larger categories, so people could figure out what they want without being confronted with an assumption of their gender or sexual orientation. In my dream world, these guides would never say "women" or "men" to describe certain body parts, instead they would just say those body parts. Reply
I know it's meant to be functional, but it's antiquated. You could say that I'm overthinking it, of course, but I'm just trying to see it from the perspectives of people who could be put off by the categories immediately because they don't fit into them. I am lucky enough to be cisgender, so seeing "Sex toys for Women" doesn't really bother me, but I'm pansexual, and that's not represented or acknowledged at all.
If the "Sex toys for Women" category were to be changed like that, it would still be leaving out people who identify as women but may not have vaginas or clits. I think there is a better way that beginners could be introduced to toys through, perhaps, more generic toy guides that explain types of vibrators/dildos/anal toys etc. Basically, the guides would explain sub-categories for the larger categories, so people could figure out what they want without being confronted with an assumption of their gender or sexual orientation. In my dream world, these guides would never say "women" or "men" to describe certain body parts, instead they would just say those body parts. Reply
2 months ago
I might be the odd one out here, but I feel that this is an area where it would be impossible to not offend someone. It is possible that some people could be offended by there NOT being sections aimed towards "Men" or "women." I think that it might be too easy for a straight couple just starting to experiment with toys, to think "oh, this is a site for gay people. We should look somewhere else." It is sad that so many people only see "female" and "male" or "gay" and "straight," but the fact is that there are still a lot of straight people out there who would be very uncomfortable shopping on a site that did not acknowledge their gender (probably more so than someone who is used to that kind of crap every day). I guess my view is that there is never a "perfect" solution in life, and somebody will always be offended or put off for one reason or another. Most people don't even realize there are genders beyond male and female, especially the older generations. There are the categories for individual toy types as well, so it's not like someone would have to go look at the "Sex Toys for Women." When I think sex toys for women, I think of toys for biologically female bodies. I'm not sure there would ever be a way to make the site perfect so no one ever got offended. It would be nice, but I honestly don't expect it to happen.
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2 months ago
I highly doubt that someone shopping sex toys for the first time is going to be totally clueless about what possible toys to look for- it's fairly common knowledge that vibrators are mostly made for/targeted towards women, for example.
It's actually often more confusing than helpful: I've gotten questions in live chat from women who want to use strap-ons with their boyfriends, but get the impression that 'is something only lesbians do'. These categories only help to reinforce myths about specific sex acts belonging to certain sexualities or gendered bodies. I think they're actually off-putting and intimidating for newcomers.
Also, the category headings don't offer any further information about specific products. Descriptions and reviews are where the intended and possible uses of toys are explained and discussed. Just because something is called 'sex toy for gay man' doesn't mean that a gay man looking at that toy will somehow have a magical understanding of what it does or how to use it.
And, like Bulma said, categories and terms like that will always alienate someone. Given how little they add to the sex toy experience, why not just get rid of them and have clearly organized delineations by type that are presented as equally available and useful to any/everyone who wants to try them? Reply
It's actually often more confusing than helpful: I've gotten questions in live chat from women who want to use strap-ons with their boyfriends, but get the impression that 'is something only lesbians do'. These categories only help to reinforce myths about specific sex acts belonging to certain sexualities or gendered bodies. I think they're actually off-putting and intimidating for newcomers.
Also, the category headings don't offer any further information about specific products. Descriptions and reviews are where the intended and possible uses of toys are explained and discussed. Just because something is called 'sex toy for gay man' doesn't mean that a gay man looking at that toy will somehow have a magical understanding of what it does or how to use it.
And, like Bulma said, categories and terms like that will always alienate someone. Given how little they add to the sex toy experience, why not just get rid of them and have clearly organized delineations by type that are presented as equally available and useful to any/everyone who wants to try them? Reply
2 months ago
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"why not just get rid of them and have clearly organized delineations by type that are presented as equally available and useful to any/everyone who wants to try them?"
Originally posted by Cock Wrangler
I highly doubt that someone shopping sex toys for the first time is going to be totally clueless about what possible toys to look for- it's fairly common knowledge that vibrators are mostly made for/targeted towards women, for example.
It's actually...
It's actually...
Agreed! I've browsed the lesbian sex toys as well as the gay men toys and I find it all kind of odd actually. I mean....don't all women have a vagina whether they are lesbian or not? Am I allowed to use the lesbian toys even though I am not a lesbian? It just seems kind of silly to me...... I would really appreciate categories like: Vibrators, Dildos, harnesses, anal toys, etc. Do we really need to be told what gender to use them on? Reply
2 months ago
Agreed. I don't think that toys should be categorized by gender or orientation, but by function.
I'd rather see a list of categories sorted by function--vibrators, anal toys, BDSM gear, etc.
In a lot of situations, the current categories seem arbitrary, and are needlessly exclusive. Reply
I'd rather see a list of categories sorted by function--vibrators, anal toys, BDSM gear, etc.
In a lot of situations, the current categories seem arbitrary, and are needlessly exclusive. Reply
2 months ago
Shouldn't have hit post before I finished my thought, oops.
I also think that getting rid of the gender/orientation categories would hopefully cut down on the number of posts such as "I'm a male and I'm interested in using anal toys, does that make me gay?"
If you look at the current categories, going into sex toys for gay men, you get all sorts of dildos--doubleheaded, realistic, strap-on, etc, so forth. However, if you go into the sex toys for men category, you get . . . masturbating sleeves, cock rings, pumps, and lubricants.
If you're new to sex toys, id as straight and come to the site thinking "Hey, I'd kinda like to stick a dildo in my bum" but all the dildos are listed under the gay male toys--it's no wonder that there's confusion. Reply
I also think that getting rid of the gender/orientation categories would hopefully cut down on the number of posts such as "I'm a male and I'm interested in using anal toys, does that make me gay?"
If you look at the current categories, going into sex toys for gay men, you get all sorts of dildos--doubleheaded, realistic, strap-on, etc, so forth. However, if you go into the sex toys for men category, you get . . . masturbating sleeves, cock rings, pumps, and lubricants.
If you're new to sex toys, id as straight and come to the site thinking "Hey, I'd kinda like to stick a dildo in my bum" but all the dildos are listed under the gay male toys--it's no wonder that there's confusion. Reply
2 months ago
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Exactly, exactly.
Originally posted by Maria
Shouldn't have hit post before I finished my thought, oops.
I also think that getting rid of the gender/orientation categories would hopefully cut down on the number of posts such as "I'm a male and I'm interested in using anal toys, does that make...
I also think that getting rid of the gender/orientation categories would hopefully cut down on the number of posts such as "I'm a male and I'm interested in using anal toys, does that make...
I really think the best solution, the best way not to alienate and (most of all) CONFUSE) people, is just to take those strange categories away. Reply
2 months ago
Quote:
"don't all women have a vagina whether they are lesbian or not?"
Originally posted by Oggins
"why not just get rid of them and have clearly organized delineations by type that are presented as equally available and useful to any/everyone who wants to try them?"
Agreed! I've browsed the lesbian sex toys as well as the gay men toys and I find...
Agreed! I've browsed the lesbian sex toys as well as the gay men toys and I find...
Well, not really. Trans women and some intersex women don't necessarily have vaginas. Just like some men (trans or intersex, etc.) don't necessarily have penises. While that's one of my own personal reasons for wanting these categories gone, I realize it's not on everyone's radar... but it's by no means the only motivation getting rid of these categories. Reply
2 months ago
For me I know where to look for whatever I want, no matter what the categories say. However, while we've evolved in our ability to discern gender and orientation a lot of consumers haven't. If we make the categories too confusing for shoppers they may get turned off and head onto a website where it just lays it out as "sex toys for women" and "sex toys for men". I think it would be nice if there were multiple categories to encompass how everyone identifies themselves but it could get tricky and insanely time consuming for shoppers to sift through them if they really don't understand what some terms mean imho.
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2 months ago
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Honestly, most other sex toy websites I've been on sort the categories by function, not by the biology they're designed to be used for. I really think that the layout as is is more confusing than if sex toys were simply organized by function--vibrators are here, dildos are here, bdsm gear is here, cock rings are here, etc, so forth.
Originally posted by Sleeping Dreamer
For me I know where to look for whatever I want, no matter what the categories say. However, while we've evolved in our ability to discern gender and orientation a lot of consumers haven't. If we make the categories too confusing for shoppers they...
Like Cock Wrangler said--the gender/orientation you have has nothing to do with the biological bits that you have. I don't think we need to look at including every possible gender option on Eden Fantasys--I just think that the gender categorizations for toys need to be completely gone. Reply
2 months ago
As far as I know, at the very least, the lesbian and gay categories are slated for eventual removal, as people of all orientations can use most of the toys in all categories.
But I'm not sure if that's still the plan... Reply
But I'm not sure if that's still the plan... Reply
2 months ago
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It's still the plan, hopefully kind of. Maybe this thread will remind the powers-that-be about that plan. :)
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Originally posted by Essin' Em
As far as I know, at the very least, the lesbian and gay categories are slated for eventual removal, as people of all orientations can use most of the toys in all categories.
But I'm not sure if that's still the plan...
But I'm not sure if that's still the plan...
2 months ago
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EXACTLY! That just proves how confusing it is! =)
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Originally posted by Cock Wrangler
"don't all women have a vagina whether they are lesbian or not?"
Well, not really. Trans women and some intersex women don't necessarily have vaginas. Just like some men (trans or intersex, etc.) don't necessarily have penises. While that's one of...
Well, not really. Trans women and some intersex women don't necessarily have vaginas. Just like some men (trans or intersex, etc.) don't necessarily have penises. While that's one of...
2 months ago
personally i feel that the categories should be just the type of toy - that way everyone will know what they are looking at and no one will feel categorized
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2 months ago
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I wish that were true but I think that has much more to do with society than this one little site.
Originally posted by Maria
Shouldn't have hit post before I finished my thought, oops.
I also think that getting rid of the gender/orientation categories would hopefully cut down on the number of posts such as "I'm a male and I'm interested in using anal toys, does that make...
I also think that getting rid of the gender/orientation categories would hopefully cut down on the number of posts such as "I'm a male and I'm interested in using anal toys, does that make...
I stand my ground and I'm curious as to what others people when the sex toys should be separated into categories based on function. Is that not what I suggested? Reply
2 months ago
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I think it has more to do with society than this site, yes, but I also think that this site is perpetuating negative stereotypes about anal play and straight males by having the toys categorized as they are.
Originally posted by Adriana Ravenlust
I wish that were true but I think that has much more to do with society than this one little site.
I stand my ground and I'm curious as to what others people when the sex toys should be separated into categories based on function. Is that not what I...
I stand my ground and I'm curious as to what others people when the sex toys should be separated into categories based on function. Is that not what I...
Function categories are definitely the way to go. Reply
2 months ago
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I'm confused as to what you're saying...
Originally posted by Adriana Ravenlust
I wish that were true but I think that has much more to do with society than this one little site.
I stand my ground and I'm curious as to what others people when the sex toys should be separated into categories based on function. Is that not what I...
I stand my ground and I'm curious as to what others people when the sex toys should be separated into categories based on function. Is that not what I...
What has to do with society?
I don't know what you suggested... it seemed to me that you were suggesting the current categories could be tweaked a little, because you feel that the categories are helpful for beginners. I totally see what you mean, but I think there could be a different place for beginners to go that doesn't assume their sex/gender/orientation for them. In fact, there could just be a "Beginner's Guide to Sex Toys" that uses universal language and is very inclusive. I would love to see that. Reply
2 months ago
Dear Friends! Thank you all for your comments and suggestions! We would like to assure you that categorization update is in the plans. We know our shortcomings and we will do our best to make EdenFantasys positive and friendly place for everyone.
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2 months ago
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That is wonderful to hear! I can't wait.
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Originally posted by Pale Ada
Dear Friends! Thank you all for your comments and suggestions! We would like to assure you that categorization update is in the plans. We know our shortcomings and we will do our best to make EdenFantasys positive and friendly place for everyone.
2 months ago
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There are quite a few different toy guides here. A general beginner's guide is a good idea too. Want to write one? :)
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Originally posted by Epiphora
I'm confused as to what you're saying...
What has to do with society?
I don't know what you suggested... it seemed to me that you were suggesting the current categories could be tweaked a little, because you feel that the categories are helpful for...
What has to do with society?
I don't know what you suggested... it seemed to me that you were suggesting the current categories could be tweaked a little, because you feel that the categories are helpful for...
2 months ago
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If I wasn't in the midst of my senior year of college, I'd totally do it. But I'm so busy as it is...
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Originally posted by Program Manager
There are quite a few different toy guides here. A general beginner's guide is a good idea too. Want to write one? :)
2 months ago
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I think you have a great point! Many toys listed under other categories are things that I am interested in trying. Same for my husband. Still, they had to start somewhere and they get credit for listening to their customers and doing everything in their power to not buy into the stereotypes. In time, I'm sure it will be just the way it needs to be to appeal to all people of all sexual identities.
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Originally posted by Epiphora
This has been touched on by other people in other posts, but I'm going to make a thread about it to see if others agree with me. I find the "Sex toys for women," "Sex toys for men," "Sex toys for couples," "Lesbian sex toys," and "Gay sex toys" links...
2 months ago
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Awesome, thank you!
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Originally posted by Pale Ada
Dear Friends! Thank you all for your comments and suggestions! We would like to assure you that categorization update is in the plans. We know our shortcomings and we will do our best to make EdenFantasys positive and friendly place for everyone.
2 months ago
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