New 'Expectations of Conduct' draft - feedback appreciated

Victoria Victoria
Hello all!

We have developed a new page that will outline what the expectations are for communication here on the website. This will cover the forums, the review comments and even the system messages. We hope this will keep everyone on the same page, so to speak, about being respectful to each other.

Before we put it up on the site, we wanted to give y'all a crack at it. We're sure there are some great suggestions and possible additions out there. Keep in mind, not every suggestion will be integrated - but all are welcome. We'll be revisiting it this coming Monday and putting it on the site soon. Thanks!

Statement of Expected Conduct

Eden Fantasys strives to maintain a sex-positive place that welcomes all genders, races, religions and creeds. These general rules were created to keep discussions and comments always respectful, always reasonable, productive, and fun. No one should have to fear backlash for sharing their opinions or asking for feedback. While we strongly support freedom of speech, we do not support hurtful behavior. We are a community – we need to help each other, to have meaningful discussions – that’s what the forums, review comment areas and system messages are about.

We expect everyone here to communicate thoughtfully and to be respectful of each other.

Disagreements or debates are fine, even expected. Being deliberately disruptive and disrespectful of others is unacceptable.

Bullying will not be tolerated. This includes insinuations and threats of action that may take place off of the Eden forums. Those games have no place here.

Similarly, we will not tolerate defamation of individuals or companies. This includes accusations, speculations and sweeping generalizations that can be hurtful. This is an information sharing resource, not a rumor-mill. Let’s be factual and fair.

Racial, sexist, homophobic and other epithets and slurs will result in immediate banning from the community. Additionally, any posts, comments, or messages sexualizing children or animals will not be tolerated and will result in immediate ban. Hatred and abuse have no place in our community.

When an Eden Fantasys employee or representative steps in to mediate the disagreement or concern, it is a cue that everyone needs to calm down and discuss the matter more rationally. Sometimes, it is to stop the argument altogether. We would much rather have mediation instead of moderation – to mediate is to work toward resolution, to moderate would be to change or close threads. We won’t close or delete threads or comments where people have been disrespectful unless it is purely spam, but those people do risk penalties (including being banned) for misconduct. We expect that the community will respond to mediation actions respectfully.

Depending on the severity of the misconduct, warnings may be given via email. Repeated or severe offenses will result in banning.

We love our community and want to protect everyone who participates. This is a safe and open place for all. Please help us to keep it that way. We greatly value the exchange of ideas and information. We’re looking forward to a wonderful future, learning and sharing together.
11/05/2009
Miss Jane Miss Jane
I think it's a good idea. For the most part, we're all going to follow those rules anyway, and it gives EF something to keep themselves covered.
11/05/2009
Sir Sir
I believe that this sounds great, actually. I do believe that the order is a bit odd though, but that's a separate issue completely. It's coming out very well so far.
11/05/2009
Miss Cinnamon Miss Cinnamon
What exactly does it mean to be "banned from the community"? Does that involve losing posting rights to the forums, being kicked out of the review program, or...?

Other than that, I like this statement a lot In a way, it's putting into words what the community has always expected from itself, if that makes any sense?
11/05/2009
Gary Gary
This is great! You're cute AND smart!
11/05/2009
Sir Sir
Quote:
Originally posted by Miss Cinnamon
What exactly does it mean to be "banned from the community"? Does that involve losing posting rights to the forums, being kicked out of the review program, or...?

Other than that, I like this statement a lot In a way, it's putting into words ... More
I agree with that. Specification of exactly what it is would be much comprehensible.
11/05/2009
Miss Jane Miss Jane
Quote:
Originally posted by Gary
This is great! You're cute AND smart!
aw. It's cute that you think she's cute, you're both cute together! lol
11/05/2009
Alan & Michele Alan & Michele
It's all sounding good, but you know I'm the "village idiot" and thus have a question. This part:
"Similarly, we will not tolerate defamation of individuals or companies. This includes accusations, speculations and sweeping generalizations that can be hurtful."

I'm wondering what would be an acceptable way then to approach a conversation about a company who truly is putting out bad toys? For example, one company produced several items that leeched color all over people's skin, and several of their other toys smell horrid. It's natural then to speculate what nasty chemicals might be in their products, but I suppose that could be considered defamation? Just asking.
11/05/2009
Gary Gary
Quote:
Originally posted by Miss Cinnamon
What exactly does it mean to be "banned from the community"? Does that involve losing posting rights to the forums, being kicked out of the review program, or...?

Other than that, I like this statement a lot In a way, it's putting into words ... More
I think the gist of this is that if you are intentionally being inappropriate and causing others to feel uncomfortable, there does need to be type of consequences.
11/05/2009
Miss Jane Miss Jane
Quote:
Originally posted by Alan & Michele
It's all sounding good, but you know I'm the "village idiot" and thus have a question. This part:
"Similarly, we will not tolerate defamation of individuals or companies. This includes accusations, speculations and sweeping generalizations that ... More
Yeah, I think there would need to be a bit more clarification on this. Blatant accusations/defamation = bad, discussing products/practices/con cerns = helpful.
11/05/2009
Gary Gary
Quote:
Originally posted by Alan & Michele
It's all sounding good, but you know I'm the "village idiot" and thus have a question. This part:
"Similarly, we will not tolerate defamation of individuals or companies. This includes accusations, speculations and sweeping generalizations that ... More
It's all in how you approach things. If you have serious questions and are respectful no one is gonna get offended.
11/05/2009
Alan & Michele Alan & Michele
Got it. Thanks
11/05/2009
Miss Cinnamon Miss Cinnamon
Quote:
Originally posted by Gary
I think the gist of this is that if you are intentionally being inappropriate and causing others to feel uncomfortable, there does need to be type of consequences.
I agree, but what consequences will there be, specifically? I'm a bit of a nerd when it comes to details, and I'd like to know what being "banned" means for an individual. Is it three-month probation? Do we never hear from them again unless that individual comes back as somebody else?

When it comes to rules, I'm a fan of "Do A and B, but not C. If you do C, D shall befall you."
11/05/2009
~miss.heather~ ~miss.heather~
Since I have been apart of the community I feel that it has been a very friendly and informative site and community. I agree with Miss Janes comment, I just have to say I am a bit amazed that this being a sex community of "adults" that this has to be reiterated, it all boils down to people having common sense respect and cooth.
11/05/2009
Dragon Dragon
"Eden Fantasys strives to maintain a sex-positive place that welcomes all genders, races, religions and creeds. These general rules were created to keep discussions and comments always respectful, always reasonable, productive, and fun. No one should have to fear backlash for sharing their opinions or asking for feedback. While we strongly support freedom of speech, we do not support hurtful behavior. We are a community – we need to help each other, to have meaningful discussions – that’s what the forums, review comment areas and system messages are about."

I love the concept, but I'm wondering about the implementation. Aside from blatant insults I'm not sure how it's going to work in practice. People communicate differently. People assume that different words "mean" something else and interpretation affects how you view things.

Communication is hard enough among any two individuals, let along among a group of people with divergent ideas.

I would suggest the following as deemed necessary.
- Specific individuals being denied access to Eden message system and the forum for a temporary period of time. "Cooling of period"
- Specific individuals being locked out of the Eden system completely.
- Forum threads being closed for a temporary point of time. "Cooling off period." Then reopened.
- The ability to "flag" a review comment or forum thread as possible inappropriate, threatening or offensive so that it could be reviewed by Eden staff.
- A very clear ban on name calling or threatening behavior with specific examples.
- Some examples of how to address discussions with divergent opinions with specific wording

This post brings to mind several threads in the past where a "few people" took the lead on a issue and several people let them know via email and messages that they supported them but didn't want to get involved. The ability to add a simple thumbs up/thumbs down poll count on individual forum posts might go along way to showing that a particular post was out of line or that most people agree with a point of view and it's not necessary to push for your point of view. Just a random thought...
11/05/2009
JR JR
I'm kinda surprised this didn't exist already really.
Differences of opinion are bound to pop up from time to time. I used to belong to a group that had very specific rules of behaviour and what was/wasn't acceptable. The only problem I ever saw in this was when someone did something that wasn't explicitly against any particular rule, but flew in the face of what was socially acceptable.
Since EF is free and no one has to pay dues to be part of the community, they should boot off anyone they feel like. (please keep free!)
I'm a big fan of specific things (that are in there) with a general openness to net everything that isn't listed. I also think that anything put in this new doc should be retroactive.
11/05/2009
Red Red
Looks awesome, keep up the good work. I don't think you want to make a ridiculously long and "if this than that" document, and this one covers your bases nice and succinctly.

Pretty cool you're asking us, by the by....
11/05/2009
Adriana Ravenlust Adriana Ravenlust
Quote:
Originally posted by Dragon
"Eden Fantasys strives to maintain a sex-positive place that welcomes all genders, races, religions and creeds. These general rules were created to keep discussions and comments always respectful, always reasonable, productive, and fun. No one should ... More
I think that a button to flag a potentially offensive post is great and would help clarify things.
11/05/2009
Lara Lara
Looks great to me!
11/05/2009
Snappy Snappy
This is an idea whose time came over a year ago. I'm glad that you're going to implement the above policy. It sounds fair and reasonable.
11/05/2009
Juliettia Juliettia
Quote:
Originally posted by Dragon
"Eden Fantasys strives to maintain a sex-positive place that welcomes all genders, races, religions and creeds. These general rules were created to keep discussions and comments always respectful, always reasonable, productive, and fun. No one should ... More
I think this is a wonderful idea and completely agree on the communication problem.
11/05/2009
Darling Dove Darling Dove
I think this is mostly good but part of it is just a thin veil justifying punishing people for speaking out. There have been a number of instances with certain companies, and the management colored these situations as black and white. Rather than looking at them objectively and trying to see them as someone from the outside would, they were, in my honest opinion, looked at in a "let's save face rather than address the issue" manner. I think that people need to be able to voice their opinions, in fact, there have been company reps that post links to other stores saying horrible things, intentional or not, about their competition- why is this okay for a company rep to do, but when someone on our side tries to inform people of something potentially dangerous or otherwise calls someone out on something wrong, the management steps in and talks to everyone involved on the contributor side as if they are childish?

In fact, while I know I personally have been accused of 'bullying' and 'reveling in drama' I think that most of the concerns that have been raised by the community that ended in controversy have always been valid concerns. Customer service and keeping people informed is as important as the product you sell. If a company can question another company's integrity, why can we, the people PAYING THEIR SALARIES, not question the integrity of someone we give our money to? Why does Edenlink exist if not to inform people and put a face to the name? People will be offended and that is that. That is business when you work with customers. Ask anyone who has ever worked in customer service. You will be accused of horrible things and you will be insulted. That is LIFE.

I agree with things about sexual discrimination, but plain and simple, if Edenlink exists only to shower the 'popular' and 'boutique' manufacturers with compliments, whereas elsewhere people can openly badmouth things from larger or less popular companies, like the widespread hate of cyberskin, sil a gel, and many other materials EF has deemed 'unsafe', then I think Edenlink is a very one sided device and that it is not serving a constructive purpose.

It is inevitable that people will dislike the practices of some companies. If these rules are to be enforced on the contributors then they should also be forced onto the other participants. Putting up a link to a store and criticizing it when they are not present to explain themselves should be unacceptable and not justified by any reason, if I am unable to say I dislike the practices of another company with whom I've dealt, with proof.

Basically I think this is 90% good and 10% crap. That's my honest opinion. You asked.
11/05/2009
Mamastoys Mamastoys
I think this is good business. I personally have been on the receiving end of some pretty "mean" things being said. Not wanting to sound like I was a kid whining, I chose to just remove myself from the situation. That is one reason I have not been on the site very much for several months now.
I think every business should have this type of outline and expectations.
I've seen some heated debates on here and think that management has stepped in at appropriate times and handled the issues involved. I don't think anyone was "punished" for expressing their thoughts which is a good thing. I have learned some things from these forums and although everyone doesn't agree about everything, for the most part, everyone shakes hands and leaves on friendly terms- the way an adult site should be.
I like the Expectations and hope it gets implemented.
Thanks for all the hard work Victoria!
11/06/2009
Liz2 Liz2
Quote: Bullying will not be tolerated. This includes insinuations and threats of action that may take place off of the Eden forums. Those games have no place here.
I take exception to the use of the word "games". This behavior is repulsive and not a game!!
Otherwise great, too bad a directive like this is necessary. I have been impressed that Victoria and others have addressed issues when they have occurred in the past.
11/06/2009
LiftedUp LiftedUp
For the most part it sounds pretty good, and there have been some good suggestions from others, so I won't go rambling on about what's already been said.

I'm curious though, is this meant to be more of a preventative measure for the site and forums, as EF continues to grow? Because I have been a member of EF for a few years now, and have always found it to be a great, cooperative, helpful, tolerant, peaceful, and understanding community. I don't know that I've ever really seen some of the activity outlined in that message.
11/06/2009
Amanda(Secret) Amanda(Secret)
Quote:
Originally posted by Victoria
Hello all!

We have developed a new page that will outline what the expectations are for communication here on the website. This will cover the forums, the review comments and even the system messages. We hope this will keep everyone on the ... More
It is a wonderful idea to make sure we are all given free opportunity to speak, no matter who we are.
11/06/2009
NuMe NuMe
Good idea to have something like this in place.
11/06/2009
Purple Foxglove Purple Foxglove
I also am surprised that we didn't have all of this in action before now. I don't think anything about it is unreasonable, and most of it is common sense that we should all be abiding by anyhow. Sounds like a good plan to me.
11/06/2009
Dragon Dragon
Quote:
Originally posted by LiftedUp
For the most part it sounds pretty good, and there have been some good suggestions from others, so I won't go rambling on about what's already been said.

I'm curious though, is this meant to be more of a preventative measure for the site and ... More
Amazing that you've missed it...

There have been some nasty and heated forum posts. I observe more than I participate because of them.
11/06/2009
Mamastoys Mamastoys
Quote:
Originally posted by Dragon
Amazing that you've missed it...

There have been some nasty and heated forum posts. I observe more than I participate because of them.
we must have seen the same posts...I observe more than post too...it's a shame!
11/06/2009
Total posts: 67
Unique posters: 32