Anal relaxing

LostinLife LostinLife
I heard if you take a finger and just barely stick it in and gentle massage the the muscles of the anus that it would be easier to have anal has anyone done this before using a toy or have penetration from your partner?
07/14/2012
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Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Yes this is a good starting point - in fact working up to 2 fingers is a pretty good idea as well. Go slow and use plenty of lube.

If you have plans for something more ambitious like anal intercourse - you should consider some toys like butt plugs that have a nice taper. The smooth profile and taper will help relax and dilate the anus for something larger - like your partner.
07/14/2012
squire squire
Agreed with above. You're essentially just practicing dilation before the real deal. WIth that said, a bigger piece, IMO, is the psychological component. By massaging, you're getting used to a new way of sexual expression with a delicate part of your body. Once comfortable, insertion is much easier and requires less warmup, generally, with toys that aren't huge. People's bodies are different though and some can take more than others, no matter how much you love anal play.
07/14/2012
LostinLife LostinLife
thanks I have my anal beads i just heard of this lately wondered if it worked
07/16/2012
MissMori MissMori
I found this book to be helpful:
link
It's pretty thorough and covers everything from just starting out exploring on your own to having anal sex.
07/17/2012
Why Not? Why Not?
Teasing or massaging the tip of a lubed up finger just at the entrance of the anus is good foreplay for further anal play. First the gentle massaging does help to relax things and second it also helps, for me at least, to get one in the mood and horny for anal play.
07/17/2012
LostinLife LostinLife
Quote:
Originally posted by MissMori
I found this book to be helpful:
link
It's pretty thorough and covers everything from just starting out exploring on your own to having anal sex.
Thanks so much for giving me that link I will be sure to look it over
07/17/2012
LostinLife LostinLife
Quote:
Originally posted by Why Not?
Teasing or massaging the tip of a lubed up finger just at the entrance of the anus is good foreplay for further anal play. First the gentle massaging does help to relax things and second it also helps, for me at least, to get one in the mood and ... More
Thanks so much
07/17/2012
Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by LostinLife
I heard if you take a finger and just barely stick it in and gentle massage the the muscles of the anus that it would be easier to have anal has anyone done this before using a toy or have penetration from your partner?
YES, YES, YES. Any gentle lovin' is a great way to start.
07/19/2012
LostinLife LostinLife
I think we are going to try this with some good numbing lube
07/23/2012
abbylover abbylover
Quote:
Originally posted by LostinLife
I think we are going to try this with some good numbing lube
dont its bad idea. you cant tell if your doing any damage
07/23/2012
abbylover abbylover
Quote:
Originally posted by Bignuf
YES, YES, YES. Any gentle lovin' is a great way to start.
i 2nd that
07/23/2012
abbylover abbylover
Quote:
Originally posted by MissMori
I found this book to be helpful:
link
It's pretty thorough and covers everything from just starting out exploring on your own to having anal sex.
ill have to read that
07/23/2012
Trysexual Trysexual
A vibrator on the outside can really get you in the mood for penetration. A tongue and/or finger works good too as others have said.
07/24/2012
LostinLife LostinLife
Quote:
Originally posted by abbylover
dont its bad idea. you cant tell if your doing any damage
ok that makes sense glad you brought that point up
07/24/2012
LostinLife LostinLife
Quote:
Originally posted by Trysexual
A vibrator on the outside can really get you in the mood for penetration. A tongue and/or finger works good too as others have said.
going to have to try this
07/24/2012
charmedtomeetyou charmedtomeetyou
Quote:
Originally posted by LostinLife
I heard if you take a finger and just barely stick it in and gentle massage the the muscles of the anus that it would be easier to have anal has anyone done this before using a toy or have penetration from your partner?
Yep! This is the way to go....gentle movement and pressure...and then maybe a smaller toy....work your way up....it's all about the warm up!
07/24/2012
ScottA ScottA
Don't underestimate the trust issue, either. You have to trust whoever is playing with your butt completely in order to relax. When you change the partner you need to back off a bit and start again.
07/27/2012
MissMori MissMori
Quote:
Originally posted by ScottA
Don't underestimate the trust issue, either. You have to trust whoever is playing with your butt completely in order to relax. When you change the partner you need to back off a bit and start again.
VERY good point! I usually have no issues around anal, but I found out that if I'm not entirely comfortable with my partner or if external stress is getting to me I can't enjoy it and sometimes can't relax as much as I need to.

And I second the warning about anal numbing. The tissue there is very delicate, which can make it pleasurable, but it can also tear if you're not careful or can't tell what's going on.
The book I recommended talks about starting out with a "no pain" policy - If you want to enjoy any anal activities ignoring pain even if it's slight can give you negative associations. Even if it takes longer, it's better to work up to it and be able to enjoy everything as you go.
07/27/2012
LostinLife LostinLife
Quote:
Originally posted by MissMori
VERY good point! I usually have no issues around anal, but I found out that if I'm not entirely comfortable with my partner or if external stress is getting to me I can't enjoy it and sometimes can't relax as much as I need ... More
Thank you so much I have noticed to that is I am not relaxed there is no way he is getting anal
07/27/2012
LostinLife LostinLife
Quote:
Originally posted by MissMori
VERY good point! I usually have no issues around anal, but I found out that if I'm not entirely comfortable with my partner or if external stress is getting to me I can't enjoy it and sometimes can't relax as much as I need ... More
what is the name of the book
07/27/2012
MissMori MissMori
Quote:
Originally posted by LostinLife
what is the name of the book
Oh, sorry, it's "Anal Pleasure and Health" by Jack Morin.
It covers a lot, and back when I started I did it "for" partners, but I've worked my way to a point where I enjoy solo anal activities. Reading it helped, since I realized I wasn't enjoying it all that much.
Solo play helped even more - being able to use toys on yourself and see how it feels and how you react takes away the feeling that a partner might have expectations and the anxiety that you might not be able to meet them.
(and by "you" I mean "me" since that's all based on my personal experience.)
07/28/2012
Total posts: 22
Unique posters: 10