Asking for anal play

Well I spent over 23 years 'suggesting' anal play to an obviously very reluctant partner. Now that she finally agreed - it has become almost routine. I'm obviously one that didn't push hard - but in light of the results, it's clear I did not push hard enough.

The biggest surprise to my wife is that she actually finds pleasure in it.

I would do some research on the many anal sex threads on EF and use the enthusiastic comments made by women as proof that when done right anal sex can be positive for both partners - even to the point of orgasm.

After warming up my wife with my fingers and a tapered vibe, I'll enter her (using a ton of silicone lube) and give her a clit vibe that uses while I slowly increase the speed and depth of penetration. About 1/2 the time she will have an orgasm this way.

I also suggest that she do anal play on you. This has 2 advantages. 1st and foremost you can experience what she will be feeling and getting an understanding of the need for - and methods of warming up and the importance of pausing after penetration to allow for the anus to adjust.

Secondly it will show her that you are getting pleasure from it - hopefully from this she relates this to her own ability to both accept anal penetration and enjoy it.

I'd say we had regular anal play and penetration on me for a year before she warmed up to the idea of trying it out herself.

When I realized I wanted to get into anal, I quite literally called up the person I wanted to do the deed and said "I want to try anal; will you put it up my butt?"


That's how I asked for anal. I think people overanalyze these things at times - Or maybe I'm just blunt about these sorts of things. No use beating around the bush. If you want your partner to do something, Ask them! That's what a partnership is about; Having an open line of communication.

Nearly verbatim from the conversation I had with the first woman I let play with my ass: "Hey babe, you know that g-spot toy you have? I've been reading about the prostate and I really want to get on my knees and let you stick it in my ass. I'll tell you if it is too much, so you don't have to worry about hurting me."

Her reply: "ARE YOU SERIOUS?" (While she was already lubing the toy)


As time passed we tried most of her toys in my ass, and she even got more comfortable with me playing with/fucking her ass.

Sometimes honesty is the absolute best.. but it will depend on the dynamic between you and the other person!

As anal is a huge part of what turns both me and my boyfriend on, and as we are both very straightforward with stuff, he'll sometimes just say "hey, we should have anal tonight." Which is usually followed by an "OMG definitely yes!" from me

Works for us!

I experimented with a plug and my wife found it one day. I would use it sometimes while we were messing around. Then one night I had it in, she proceeded to remove it during sex and fingered me.

It's my opinion that any relationship should be built on a foundation of trust and open communication. Anyway, met my current girlfriend via online dating and in our extended chat sessions it turned out she had no sexual experience of any kind. As I came into the relationship with previous experience was worried if anal play/sex was something I desired on occasion if she'd be open to it with no experience. So we discussed this need of mine openly, and even though she hadn't thought of it previously was excited to meet my needs as much as she was about me meeting hers. And indicated if it's not enjoyable, she'd let me know.

Now we enjoy anal play regularly, but anytime I'm in the mood for anal I basically just ask if she's feeling up for it. This is mostly due to the added prep time we take before we have anal sex.

It started with my wife and i one day while I was at work and we were texting back and forth sexy stuff and I started to hinting round bout plugs and strapons. She amazed me when she said ok to both. Now we have both and a prostate massager that she will use on me along with her vibrators that she has for her