Boyfriend finds the aftermath of anal play disgusting.. Tips? (Slightly graphic but possibly entertaining story inside)

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Boyfriend finds the aftermath of anal play disgusting.. Tips? (Slightly graphic but possibly entertaining story inside)

Intertwining Intertwining
Hi everyone,

I've been really interested in starting our properly in anal play with my boyfriend, and I'm keen on having butt toys in during sex. So what happened today was that in the middle of a VERY heated session, I asked my boyfriend whether he wanted to try penetration with my Flexi Felix in me. (we'd never tried anal play together before)

Background information: I'd experimented with the Flexi Felix a number of times before, and discovered that I'd only have anal detritus stuck to it if I inserted more beads (usually with 4 or 5 beads out of the five), and even then, it's a small amount (akin to skid marks) on the last one or two beads.

So, bearing this in mind, I playfully asked him to put in 3 beads, thinking that it shouldn't be too messy. He enjoyed the sensation provided by the beads while penetrating me, and came soon after.

As we went to clean ourselves up, I casually tugged the beads out of my butt with my boyfriend watching curiously through the transparent shower stall, and snuck a quick glance at them..

.. Oh, shit. LITERALLY.

There was a huge chunk of shit that clung on to the last bead. My boyfriend scrunched up his eyes in disgust, turning his face away and loudly expressed his revulsion with an "Awhhhhhhhhhhhhhh god!" (My boyfriend's not exactly a member of the "well, it's just what comes out of a human body" party, if you know what I mean- not to say I wasn't disgusted either, though..)

Face red with embarrassment, I hurriedly rinsed it under the sink, using my hand (urgh) to rub off the offending detritus. The stench quickly permeated the air of my small toilet, and my boyfriend quickly stuck his head back into the shower to escape the smell.

After emerging from the shower, sniffing the air gingerly, my boyfriend sternly waggled his finger at the grinning (I swear it was smirking right then) face of Felix, who was lying as innocent as anything on the toilet counter, and said, "I'm not trying that again".

After my humiliation had worn off slightly and we were in bed cuddling, I asked, "Do you really not want to try any anal toys anymore?" "Uhh.. Not really," he replied. I went on to strike a deal with him, promising to clean up the toys after sex out of his view (and smell, I suppose). I still don't think he's too keen, though.. lol

So, any tips on lessening the "ew" factor of anal play? I considered trying enemas, but after doing a bit of research, found out that it pretty much plays havoc with the flora and fauna of the inner sanctum..

Please give me some advice! (And sorry if my post was a little long!)
12/13/2010
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Illusional Illusional
Hmmm, my boyfriend is into anal play... and i've only had one "ohshit" incident in which he responded that if I wasn't feeling well, I should've said so.

However, he didn't give up on it. I am mortified of the idea of it, so.... I clean my ass very very thorough before our sessions.

I don't use enemas, I use a weird combo of... a very thin vibe and sometimes a thin wash cloth... and kind of fuck my ass/clean it, lol.



As for getting him into it again... I would have to suggest porn. I was very adverse to anal when my boyfriend and I got together, it seemed disgusting. But... after watching it and hearing how heated it made him... I couldn't see why not.
12/13/2010
~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
Well...for one, I am sorry your boyfriend was that immature. What did he expect?

I have been playing with anal and toys for years now and never had I had something happen like that. But I do know that beads are probably THEE worst kind of anal toy you could choose to use with a partner for the first time. In my experience they are the messiest of them all and like you said...will sometimes get crap on them.

I do suggest enemas. They can be damaging if you do them too often. But if you have anal play at the rate that I think you guys will...it won't be a problem. I do them and again have never had an embarrassing experience like you described (solo or with my partner).

So...

1. Bowel Movement
Wait an hour...
2. Douche
Wait about half an hour
3. Play with a non-textured probe. Glass would be the best option if available.
12/13/2010
Darling Jen Darling Jen
Nothing will prevent it from ever happening again. It's just a fact of life and part of the healthy cycle of the human body. But you can lessen your chances by eating a balanced diet and getting your digestive system "regulated". Also, make sure you've already had a bowel movement that day and use baby wipes to clean your up before starting.

Also, beads are way more likely to pull stool out of your colon than a plug is. They generally insert further and the space between beads is 'grabbing' location for feces. Perhaps you should try a plug instead because I'm sure there will be less, if any, deposits on that when removing. And just remove it when he's not around to witness what may or may not come out.

What makes me sad is that he had a problem with it even though he never touched it or even was in or around the anal canal. He just had vaginal sex with you as if there was no toy involved. So for him to freak out like he did was a bit, well, immature. Does he want to pretend you never defecate? Everyone shits, even women and even the one he's having sex with.

But most importantly, don't like anyone make you feel humiliated, shamed, or scared to explore your body or express your sexuality! I say try a few things without him first and see what rocks your world and involve him when and if you're ready!
12/13/2010
Kindred Kindred
I agree with what has been said so far. If an enema is not an option for you, perhaps using a shorter toy would lessen the chances of a repeat incident. However, he should understand that it will never completely prevent the possibility. It's just always going to be a possible issue when dealing with anal play.

Another thought would be to use a condom? That way clean up would be much faster and easier. Hope you work this issue out.
12/13/2010
Kestrel Kestrel
I agree with the others. Your bf is being immature. He's probably watched too much porn. What he won't see in porn is the preparation the girls do before the scene to make sure all that anal play and sex doesn't result in a shitty scene(!).

Maybe do enemas beforehand the next few times to get him used to the idea of anal play. Once he's more comfortable with it and more accepting of the 'risks', stop the enemas.
12/13/2010
Intertwining Intertwining
Hi everyone,

Thanks so much for the advice and tips!

Just to clarify, my description may have made him come across as immature and unrealistic, but that definitely wasn't my intention (in fact I intended the general tone of my story to be a combination of embarrassment and wry humour)- my boyfriend's pretty vanilla and unadventurous when it comes to sex, having never had sexual relations with anyone but me, so his reaction seemed pretty expected. I mean, the accident came across as a huge unpleasant surprise even to me, and if I were in his position, I honestly would have reacted the same way! What a way to end a awesome session of sex, lol!

And ah, I really had no idea that beads were the MESSIEST toys amongst anal toys! Argh, what a terrible choice to make a first impression of anal play with my white-bread boyfriend! *wince*

But luckily I posted my experience up here, I was getting really excited about getting some new butt toys to try out, but was reconsidering it after what happened today.. Thankfully, my choices do not include any anal beads!

So I'll try the new toys on my own and see if they cause much of a mess before deciding whether I want to try an enema.

Any suggestions to my toy choices? link (sorry to "advertise" for my other thread, but it is related.. hehe)

Thank you all for being so defensive on my behalf towards my boyfriend, lol! I feel so touched that you guys are so supportive here on EF, it's like finding a new family
12/13/2010
Victoria Victoria
Quote:
Originally posted by Intertwining
Hi everyone,

Thanks so much for the advice and tips!

Just to clarify, my description may have made him come across as immature and unrealistic, but that definitely wasn't my intention (in fact I intended the general tone of my ...
We're so glad you asked about it! See how much people are willing to help? This community warms my heart, seriously!

And girl.. get yourself the Bootie plug! It is THE best of the small plugs.
12/13/2010
ScottA ScottA
A small warm-water enema won't mess with the colon too much. It's primarily the large enemas or ones with things mixed in them that cause problems. Another possibility would be a glycerin suppository (you can get them at the drugstore in containers of 10 to the crazily large 100 (??).

If you do an enema first try to go on your own and then use about a cup of warm water. More than that usually isn't necessary, and as long as you allow your system to work on its own (i.e. go before the enema) you won't mess with your timing much.
12/13/2010
Jessica Elizabeth Jessica Elizabeth
I'd suggest an anal douche about an hour before hand. It'll clean out the lower parts of your bowel system which is about the only part you'd be playing with anyway.

The Rhapsodia so far has been the toy to pull the most poo for me. An incredible amount that one pulls, so just an FYI if you have it don't use it when he's around LOL

Otherwise yea; go for a plug rather than beads.

Sorry he reacted so poorly. The first time I used Flexi felix my boyfriend pulled it out and it was covered in poo. He just chuckled tossed it in the sink and washed his hands. I'm blessed with an accepting boyfriend.
12/13/2010
Darling Jen Darling Jen
Quote:
Originally posted by Intertwining
Hi everyone,

Thanks so much for the advice and tips!

Just to clarify, my description may have made him come across as immature and unrealistic, but that definitely wasn't my intention (in fact I intended the general tone of my ...
Awwww I feel the same way about this community. I heart them SO much! But I can understand that being a bit off-putting to anal newbies. Just take it slow and be a unified team on a mission for pleasure! Tell him it's all about feeling good, sexy, and satisfied.
12/13/2010
Intertwining Intertwining
Victoria, I've been going through a lot of "what beginner anal toy should I get" threads, and you're always there piping out "BOOTIE IS THE BEST TOY EVER!" heheh And it's definitely on my list of butt toys that I'm getting! Thanks!

ScottA, I'll give an enema a try if my new toys make a mess too! Thanks for the tips

Jessica Elizabeth, thanks for the heads up- I'll make sure I never get the Rhapsodia unless I'm looking for something to clean myself out, lol! You're so lucky your boyfriend's so great with it! I take it that it wasn't the first time you guys tried anal play though, right?

Darling Jen, yesss I have found a new love in EF, both the shopping and the forums!

Hopefully the new toys make a better impression on him!
12/13/2010
UnknownGirl UnknownGirl
I don't think you're boyfriend was acting immature. And I don;t think you should hold his reaction against him. His reaction was a very natural and normal response. Especially if he was inexperienced with anal play and didn't know what to expect.

And I don't think it's for people here to call your boyfriend immature, either. I think sometimes the seasoned vets forget that not everybody is as open or sexually experienced as they are. Remember, at one point, we all had to try these things for the very first time.
12/13/2010
KnK KnK
I like this post because I now know how to thoroughly clean out my ass before play. I'm sorry, I can't even type it without laughing. This has actually been one of my greatest fears. I've only tinkered around with anal play by my onsies. I'm mortified at the very idea of it getting poop on anything.
12/14/2010
Illusional Illusional
Quote:
Originally posted by KnK
I like this post because I now know how to thoroughly clean out my ass before play. I'm sorry, I can't even type it without laughing. This has actually been one of my greatest fears. I've only tinkered around with anal play by my onsies. ...
Same here, it's a consistent fear.
I've never tried an enema
12/14/2010
Intertwining Intertwining
Oxygen99, I agree. I definitely don't hold it against him, but I do hope that he'd be more willing to experiment in the future

twistedfinger, hehe, I'm glad my post was of help to someone else then!
12/14/2010
Adriana Ravenlust Adriana Ravenlust
I'm kind of surprised that no one has suggested condom use. It makes clean up much easier.
12/14/2010
Selective Sensualist Selective Sensualist
Quote:
Originally posted by Adriana Ravenlust
I'm kind of surprised that no one has suggested condom use. It makes clean up much easier.
Kindred did!
12/14/2010
Adriana Ravenlust Adriana Ravenlust
Quote:
Originally posted by Selective Sensualist
Kindred did!
Oh, ha. I actually did a search for it and nothing popped up. Must have typoed. d=
12/14/2010
Intertwining Intertwining
Not too keen on condom use- for some reason the smell of them makes me a little ill..
12/14/2010
RemusHalifax RemusHalifax
I wish I could help, but my boyfriend doesn't mind too much. He's made a strange sound once, like a combination of "ew" and "meh" and I was a little embarrassed, but he's willing to clean off my toys for me while I soak up my post-orgasm awesomeness so he can't be too offended by it. He's a pretty down-to-earth guy, so I guess I'm lucky in that respect.
12/14/2010
Liz2 Liz2
An enema will take care of the poop issue. But, do not use an enema solution found in Fleet enemas, pour the solution out and replace with warm water.
And yes, anal beads just seem to drag poop out of an unclean anal canal. I also experienced this.
You might also feel more comfortable if you use a butt plug during masturbation as you will get a "feeling" how ready your butt is at various times. I love anal sex but I know by a "feeling", how ready I am for penetration by my partner.
12/14/2010
Intertwining Intertwining
RemusHalifax- LUCKY! Even if my boyfriend gets more accustomed to anal play, it's highly unlikely that he'd clean off any used toys (especially anal toys) that have been in any of my orifices! lol!

Liz2, thanks for the advice! I can't wait for my new order (Bootie, Pure Plug small, Pleasure No. 1, Plug of Lust AND Bob- ah, going broke!) to come in so I can experiment..
12/14/2010
Selective Sensualist Selective Sensualist
Quote:
Originally posted by Intertwining
RemusHalifax- LUCKY! Even if my boyfriend gets more accustomed to anal play, it's highly unlikely that he'd clean off any used toys (especially anal toys) that have been in any of my orifices! lol!

Liz2, thanks for the advice! I ...
Yay! I'm so glad you ordered Bob, too! It is my favorite plug. The Bootie is very nice, too. I have just been negligent with my anal play lately and have to gradually work up to taking the Bootie.

I haven't tried any of the other ones you ordered, but would love to eventually get a Pure Plug. I think I'm going to get a large for my husband first though, before I get a small one for me. I'm curious about the Plug of Lust and Pleasure No. 1, too.
12/15/2010
Shellz31 Shellz31
I make sure I have been to the toilet recently for solo but for couple anal, I always do an enema just to be on the safe side.
I have never had an issue after a full enema cause I make sure there's nothing left.

Such a shame your boyfriend reacted that way. Most guys accept that can very easily happen when ya dealing back there.
I know it grossed me out when I first started anal play and I hate the thought of it happening in front of a guy.
12/15/2010
ScottA ScottA
Textured toys are worse than smooth toys at having stuff stick to them, so try to get the smoothest ones you can.
12/15/2010
Intertwining Intertwining
Selective Sensualist, yep, I ordered the Bob almost purely because of your enthusiastic recommendation! Hehe I'll let you know how I find the others, if you'd like!

Shellz31, exactly! It was so embarrassing to have it happen the first time we experimented with anal play together! Thanks for the tips on being "clean"!

ScottA, do velvety silicone textures tend to be "poo-pullers"? Thanks for the advice!
12/15/2010
closed account closed account
I liked the suggestion of "fucking" your ass clean before hand! I am determined to get past my emotional walls with anal play! It is so cool to have people talking/typing so openly about it.
12/15/2010
Illusional Illusional
Quote:
Originally posted by closed account
I liked the suggestion of "fucking" your ass clean before hand! I am determined to get past my emotional walls with anal play! It is so cool to have people talking/typing so openly about it.
It works, I've never tried an enema though. But I'm a clean freak.. lol
12/15/2010
Beaners Beaners
Ah this is a freak out topic for me too. I think that's part of the problem with me not being able to relax and instead tensing up and having it hurt. The boy is significantly more experienced with anal than I am, and just keeps telling me that I need to push out at first. I'm like, "But...what?...then... poop!" I make sure I've gone to the bathroom recently, but I'm still paranoid. He's totally cool with it and has never said anything about the rare skid marks that have ended up in the few anal toys that I'll dare to conquer. Shit Happens is his take on it, and it's my take on it as well...I guess just not when it's my own. Haha! I'm liking Illusional's idea with the vibe and a thin washcloth. Definitely keeping this in mind!
12/15/2010
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