Finger in the butt

Noelle Noelle
My husband is very boring sexwise. I really want to spice things up,but he is fine with missionary/me on top. I really want to have a more exciting sex life (I've had great experiences before). I know he would freak out if I tried to put my finger in his butt, however I am not sure what I can do to up the excitement. I've tried to talk to him, and he says he will try more, but he never does. Should I try the finger up the butt anyway? Need some advise please.
07/30/2012
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Petite Valentine Petite Valentine
Quote:
Originally posted by Noelle
My husband is very boring sexwise. I really want to spice things up,but he is fine with missionary/me on top. I really want to have a more exciting sex life (I've had great experiences before). I know he would freak out if I tried to put my ... More
No. Surprise Buttsex is funny with LOLcats, not in the bedroom. If you already have a feeling he's going to freak out, DO NOT cross that boundary without his permission.

Have you considered going with your husband to an educational workshop or seminar? How about meeting with an AASECT endorsed educator?
07/30/2012
mikeysPlace mikeysPlace
Try it out slowly and see. Maybe he doesn't want to admit he would like it. Attempt it very slowly and see what happens. Wouldn't recommend suddenly ramming your finger in there. You might try just caressing that area with your fingers the next time you have sex and see how he reacts to it. If it's a positive reaction, try going all the way next time.
07/30/2012
travelnurse travelnurse
My husband who would not even consider any thing up his bum has become more and more receptive since we have started playing with toys and since I have been active with Eden Fantasy. Since I have been on EF lines of communication have been opened, I have been bringing up subjects and toys. He agreed to the thigh harness and dildo and has found out that he loved it. And for the man who freaked out because the Dr. had to check his prostate It was unbelievable last night when he said "I think things would work better if I got a toy for my butt". I smiled secretly. I decided that with our next play session I will give him a good blow job and sneak a greased pinky up his bum.
07/30/2012
Chou Wang Chou Wang
I agree with travelnurse, get him involved. Let him watch you play, arouse him, give him a good BJ with some rimming and maybe next time or so try the finger while you're at it. It takes long time and lots of cognitive viruses to do this work, don't rush.

My ex-wife kept talking to me about this subject until I finally gave in and love it ever since. Now I have the opposite problem sometimes, it's convincing my girlfriend to play anally
07/31/2012
Chou Wang Chou Wang
Oh and what worked really well on me is the health aspect. The choice is simple because many many men get problems. The preventive care is massage and you can get it done by a doctor or by your lover and climax from it. So what would you choose?
07/31/2012
Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by Noelle
My husband is very boring sexwise. I really want to spice things up,but he is fine with missionary/me on top. I really want to have a more exciting sex life (I've had great experiences before). I know he would freak out if I tried to put my ... More
1. Everyone so far has given good advice. 2. Don't "just do it"...that is an invasion, not a sexy move. ONLY do it with permission. However, forget this one subject...as it is included in my next suggestion. 3. PORN. Find some porn with WHATEVER you feel would "spice up your love life" (including finger to anal ). You can find PLENTY of mini videos free online to watch "together". Sure, he may be "embarrassed" to watch porn WITH you....but inside he will probably be thrilled. When you start commenting "OH...I WANT to try that...can we, please, please, can we"????!!!!! I bet your overall sex life will get UN boring pretty fast, if he is, in any way, a REAL male with testosterone in his veins! The key is COMMUNICATION and getting IDEAS. Porn is GREAT for ideas...if used right, TOGETHER. Good luck!
07/31/2012
Noelle Noelle
Quote:
Originally posted by mikeysPlace
Try it out slowly and see. Maybe he doesn't want to admit he would like it. Attempt it very slowly and see what happens. Wouldn't recommend suddenly ramming your finger in there. You might try just caressing that area with your fingers ... More
Yeah, I don't think I would like it if he tried to ram his finger up my butt either!!
07/31/2012
Phosphorous Tick Phosphorous Tick
Try talking to him more about it, and try to get him more in to the idea- if you show interest he might be more willing to try.
07/31/2012
Zandrock Zandrock
I would suggest you taking the dominant role. Show him some things you want done to you. This might help him. Whenever I introduce something to my girlfriend I do it to her first (telling her first) and then she often feels much more comfortable doing it to me (anal toys, bondage, roleplaying, etc.)
08/01/2012
Varmint Varmint
Quote:
Originally posted by Noelle
My husband is very boring sexwise. I really want to spice things up,but he is fine with missionary/me on top. I really want to have a more exciting sex life (I've had great experiences before). I know he would freak out if I tried to put my ... More
Here's a way that worked on getting me to open up to my wife about my love of anal play:
Nice hot erotic shower.

As my wife was 'washing me' She said my ass needed a good scrubbing. Needless to say I was already half-way there from getting my cock 'cleaned.' As she cleaned my ass, she kept jerking and then her finger slipped in my ass and it was over. The orgasm I had made me forget all about the 'gay' thing and be open asking for more, more more!
08/05/2012
CaliGirl CaliGirl
I think you should just go for it. Just make sure that you're gentle and don''t get your feelings hurt if he doesn't like it.
08/15/2012
itismedi itismedi
I second the shower. Soapy play may help, get him hard and then run your hands elsewhere. DO NOT INVADE ~ LOL Once everything is nice and clean, lead him to the bedroom and if you are comfortable, give him a blowjob and while you are down there use your tongue to explore his balls and his anus area...see how he reacts and then go from there. See what happens. We have a rule - He'll try anything on me at least once hahaha so he may not be receptive, but maybe he will return the favor.
08/18/2012
Noelle Noelle
Quote:
Originally posted by Petite Valentine
No. Surprise Buttsex is funny with LOLcats, not in the bedroom. If you already have a feeling he's going to freak out, DO NOT cross that boundary without his permission.

Have you considered going with your husband to an educational ... More
He would NEVER go..I should go by myself..
08/18/2012
Noelle Noelle
Quote:
Originally posted by mikeysPlace
Try it out slowly and see. Maybe he doesn't want to admit he would like it. Attempt it very slowly and see what happens. Wouldn't recommend suddenly ramming your finger in there. You might try just caressing that area with your fingers ... More
YEah, no ramming of anything!!
08/18/2012
Noelle Noelle
Quote:
Originally posted by Bignuf
1. Everyone so far has given good advice. 2. Don't "just do it"...that is an invasion, not a sexy move. ONLY do it with permission. However, forget this one subject...as it is included in my next suggestion. 3. PORN. Find some porn with ... More
Great advice. Thanks!!
08/18/2012
Undecided Undecided
I agree you can start off small, you can rub his taint or rim while giving him a blowjob. Just simply be open about it, I am shy when it comes to asking a man to do something I love so if it is something I can do myself I show them what I crave and want.
08/19/2012
bayosgirl bayosgirl
I agree that you should talk to him before doing that. I know with my husband he would be very upset if I tried that. He's very against anal play for himself, and though I wish he would be more openminded I know I'm just wasting my time if I even try. The furthest I can go is to rub him right behind his balls, which he does enjoy.
08/19/2012
Petite Valentine Petite Valentine
Quote:
Originally posted by Noelle
He would NEVER go..I should go by myself..
It's worth it to go on your own, but I think what you want is for your husband to be more involved. Embrace your inner sales lady and do your best to convince him to go. Try presenting him with a calendar of events from a local shop or club and see what catches his interest.

You may have to put your desires for 'Pegging 101' or 'Advanced Kama Sutra Positions' on the back burner while he grows used to the idea, but if you can get him to attend one it's a start.
08/19/2012
Total posts: 19
Unique posters: 13