Guys and anal, why the obsession?

Pandahb Pandahb
Every guy I've ever talked to about anal, who has tried it (giving), have loved it. And they always seem boost that once a girl tries it (receiving), she too will love it as well. Even when I tell him I'm not into that, every guy seems to respond the same way: "You will when I'm done"

How many guys on here think they can get any girl into anal after one go at it?
How many women here are offended by this?
09/02/2010
  • Weekly Special: Hot Vibes! Buy 1 Vibrator And Get 1 FREE
  • Better Price Sale - Save 50%
  • Better Price Sale - Save 70%
  • Better Price Sale - Save 60%
  • Better Price - Save 40%
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
All promotions
Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
I'm one of those guys - and wife is of a like mind with you. If you read a lot of EF posts there are a lot of women who enjoy anal sex to point of orgasm, some that describe them as more intense than PIV orgasms.

From my perspective if that's possible for many - it's probably possible for most. But as long as there is a mental aversion to anal sex you aren't going to like it - the self-fulfilling prophesy paradigm. Make up your mind you aren't going to like something and you will not.

A cute example - when my daughter was young she was very reluctant to try new things. One day I threatened to spank her if she did not eat some ice cream that I knew she'd love. At first her reluctance ruled - but eventually her taste buds got through and all was well.

Likewise my wife has been reluctant to use many toys that I've brought home - but after trying them - she absolutely loves them all. Now she has an open mind
so when a new one comes along its like - bring it on, lets see how this thing works.

Some day I hope to connect the dots for my wife so that she can experience the tremendous pleasure from anal stimulation that many other women @ EF have described.
09/02/2010
sweet sally sweet sally
I personally love anal (if done correctly - ie plenty of lube and a patient lover) I can orgasm from it every time, unlike PIV.

I actually asked my bf why he liked anal so much a couple of days ago and his response was "because it excites you". Well, that's a pretty good answer I thought.
09/02/2010
ScottA ScottA
I certainly would never be foolish enough to say that I could get someone to love anal in one go. You can't - if you try it in one go you're going to probably hurt them. Go slow, and only start when they're open to the idea.
09/02/2010
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Pandahb
Every guy I've ever talked to about anal, who has tried it (giving), have loved it. And they always seem boost that once a girl tries it (receiving), she too will love it as well. Even when I tell him I'm not into that, every guy seems to ... More
I think it depends on how it is approached. My Man wanted to try it along time ago, (not counting the "OOOOOPS I missed." stuff.) At first I was like, "Um, I don't think so." Then he gradually introduced me to gentle anal stim, petting and eventually anal sex.

The first time, I didn't really dig it, but I think I wasn't ready. We did a few more days (or maybe it was weeks) of gentle petting, stimulation, him just using a finger, then two, really keeping me excited otherwise (using oral sex, during anal stim on the woman can do wonders for her perceptions and sexualization of anal play!) the entire time etc and eventually the next time, we used a lot of lube and it was GREAT!

That was quite a while ago, (OK, about 2 years, but we have been having sex together for more than 20 years, so it's still new to us) and we enjoy it quite a bit.

At first I asked him what he liked about it. He said it really feels totally different than PIV sex, and I KNOW when we watch porn, he stiffens up like crazy when there's an anal scene. I remember, while we were still working on it, realizing this and thinking, "Not only does he really like watching that, it's turning me on, too. We have to work on this and make it work for us." We did just that. I also found that if I have at least one orgasm or more before we start anal sex, it is a lot easier, as I am so relaxed and I will almost always have more while we are doing it.

People tend to think "the woman doesn't have any reason to get excited about anal sex." We don't have a prostate gland, but the anus is rich in nerve endings and the experience, especially, for me, if a dildo is used in the vagina, can be nearly overwhelmingly erotic! I think the "nastiness" factor plays into it, as well. I know that was one draw for me. "We aren't 'supposed' to be doing this. Let's DO IT!" I tend to like breaking rules and staid "moral ideals" and things like that. (And, if done properly, carefully and at first, gently, there is nothing really physically "wrong" with anal sex. A few people have had bad experiences, but often those may be from an overenthusiastic partner, not enough preparation, not enough lube, or really resenting doing it and clenching too much. Of course, anyone who has had serious injury to the anus, to the point of needing surgery, should probably be checked out to make sure it is safe for them.)

I get a really deep emotional and physical attachment to My Man when we have anal sex. It is different than oral sex, different than PIV sex, different than manual sex, it makes me feel like I'm in a altered state (especially if I have had at least one orgasm first, but even if I haven't, it is really an amazing feeling.) The first time we actually succeeded without any discomfort (the first time I wasn't ready, and it was uncomfortable, but not awful) he kept telling me how much he loved me and how fantastic it was, and was I enjoying it, and what I Good Girl I was, and those feelings of sexual love have just carried over to every time we engage in this type of sex, which for us is about every other time we have sexual contact or so.

Not to mention, for a lot of people, woman and men, it just feels GOOD!
09/02/2010
Persephone's Addiction Persephone's Addiction
My boyfriend is into anal - and I asked him why it appeals to him so much.
He said that there are a couple reasons. One, it's "taboo" and that makes it exciting. It's not something that is an every day thing, so that makes it special. Thirdly, he said it's almost like a test of his seduction abilities to get a woman to let him have anal sex with her. Lastly, he said it's because it's so tight. (as a funny aside, he told me last night that my pussy is actually tighter than my ass - which just reaffirms my assumption that my vagina is magic.)

I really do think that the fact that's it's "dirty" is what makes guys want to do it. That, and the fact that it's (usually) tighter than pussy.
10/23/2010
Blinker Blinker
It's normal male behavior to stick their dicks in anything with a hole.

If not for porn, or someone telling them about doing someone's ass, they wouldn't bother with it. Monkey see, monkey do. They assume because Jenna Jameson and every other female porn star savagely enjoys anal, then every normal girl on earth must also enjoy it, because porn is REAL. Thus, they stick their dicks in our asses.

Please relaize the above is sarcastic, ffs.

That being said, I fucking love anal penetration.
10/23/2010
Littlethree (Eddie Anal) Littlethree (Eddie Anal)
I don't think I could make a woman like anal sex. I receive it myself (not from her but from toys) and I remember when I first started I was "unsure", but wanted to do it. I think it really has to be wanted willingly. Otherwise when you receive, you will be too tense and clenched down there and you need to be relaxed (in addition to using lubrication) for it to work.
10/25/2010
ScottA ScottA
Quote:
Originally posted by Littlethree (Eddie Anal)
I don't think I could make a woman like anal sex. I receive it myself (not from her but from toys) and I remember when I first started I was "unsure", but wanted to do it. I think it really has to be wanted willingly. Otherwise when ... More
And you need to trust your partner.
10/25/2010
leatherlover leatherlover
My wife is against anal, because she thinks it is very dirty. I have enjoyed limited anal stimulation though fingers and toys, and I find it satisfying. The reason I want to try it is because of the comments I read from other women on this site and how much they enjoy it.
10/25/2010
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by leatherlover
My wife is against anal, because she thinks it is very dirty. I have enjoyed limited anal stimulation though fingers and toys, and I find it satisfying. The reason I want to try it is because of the comments I read from other women on this site and ... More
"Dirty" like in "hot and nasty" or "dirty" like in "unhygienic?" I just wonder, because washing carefully, making sure the rectum is empty, and even going to the extent of using a condom, if she worries about "accidents" (which in several years of anal we've never had) one can cut down the "unhygienic" aspects of anal sex. Most receivers can just make sure they have emptied their bowels recently and some need to cleanse with a light anal douche, most can just make sure they are empty naturally and just clean well and use a lot of lubricant.

If it's Dirty as in "hot and nasty" it is often the reason a lot of people are drawn to it. I know it was one of the "selling points" of the whole thing for My Man and me it still is.

It takes all kinds. My Man "trained" me in this form of sex, gradually, starting with sharing porn with anal in it, (and I found myself intrigued, to a huge extent) and then gentle manual stim, lots of compliments about how well I was doing with it, then very gentle finger insertion and a little rimming, and although we tried "beginner toys" first, I didn't like them then, so we then went to "just the tip" penetration and then on to bigger () and more advanced things.

I also found reading erotica with anal sex in it very helpful in my desire for it. Eden has a lot of good books about the subject and nearly everything edited by Alison Tyler or most video porn by Tristan Taromino has tasteful, but hot anal scenes in them.

Many women need to have an orgasm first, before they are relaxed enough to accept anal sex, and they need to know and be told they are doing well, compliments about her ass, and how hot she is will get you everywhere! At least that works for me. I can say I really like a lot of anal toys now, and we participate in this kind of play regularly. When he first asked me, I was like "No fucking way. Are you crazy?" He's a very skilled lover and a persuasive man, and he taught me a lot about getting to know my own sexual needs. He was always gentle and slow and full of compliments.

It's all good for us now.

Good luck. You can't "make her" like it or want it, (mentioning it too often will turn her off. You have to gauge how often to bring it up. If she gets upset, leave it alone for a while.) but occasionally bringing up the subject, sensual touching of her butt during sex (no penetration at first) and making sure she gets exactly what she needs, sexually first is really helpful.
10/27/2010
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Gunsmoke
I'm one of those guys - and wife is of a like mind with you. If you read a lot of EF posts there are a lot of women who enjoy anal sex to point of orgasm, some that describe them as more intense than PIV orgasms.

From my perspective if ... More
Gun, did you threaten to spank your wife, too? (Yet an other tactic that works for me, oddly enough.)



Huge smile.
10/27/2010
leatherlover leatherlover
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
"Dirty" like in "hot and nasty" or "dirty" like in "unhygienic?" I just wonder, because washing carefully, making sure the rectum is empty, and even going to the extent of using a condom, if she worries about ... More
She is in the mindset that it is unhygienic. "It is an out hole, not an in hole". She also has told me of a previous boyfriend who was very large that tried to slip it in her ass without any prep, and I think that has caused her to put up a mental block against anal.

I am currently trying to put together items in my wish list that will help her get over the negative thoughts about anal. I have The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women, so I think that will help her understand the pleasure in anal sex and how you can make it safer. I will have to look into the books for help. We have also been doing a little bit of anal stimulation for me, and I know she does not mind doing it to me because of the enjoyment that I receive out of it, so I hope that will help her mind as well.

About 2 years ago I was really wanting to try it and talk her into allowing me to try, but she was really against it. Eventually she agreed to allow me to try it, but her reaction was not what I was looking for. I knew that she would not be relaxed enough, and then she would be like, "see, I didn't like it, so don't ask again!" Since then I don't think I have brought it up one time.

I just don't know if my next move should be the reading materials and the video's, or just talking to her first saying how I would really like to try it. Thanks for your help.
10/27/2010
Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
Gun, did you threaten to spank your wife, too? (Yet an other tactic that works for me, oddly enough.)



Huge smile.
P'Gell:

Good idea - but no the wife and I don't have that kind of dynamic, I guess I'm not quite the Alpha-male type.

For me it's a Rolling Stones 'life' - You can't always get what you want - but if you try sometimes, you just might find - you get what you need!
10/27/2010
Total posts: 14
Unique posters: 9