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I have had a couple of relationships that involved anal and BDSM. My husband and I have an awesome sex life that I would not trade for the world. However, we have never had successful anal. It always hurts too much. I cannot figure out why I cannot
I have had a couple of relationships that involved anal and BDSM. My husband and I have an awesome sex life that I would not trade for the world. However, we have never had successful anal. It always hurts too much. I cannot figure out why I cannot with him. It isn't like it is my first time although it has been over a decade at this point. SO FRUSTRATED!
THANKS for any advice!
I think that Bignuf and CE both had amazing advice for this, but I too am curious as to what might be making this "hurt too much". Do you have any theories for what could be making this so uncomfortable even with your past experiences?
I would say that my husband and I are fairly new to anal, although we've been doing it pretty regularly for almost a decade now. There are breaks off and on..which always seems to complicate things. After even just a month of a break it feels like I am an anal virgin again. But I can assure you...it doesn't take very long to get back into it.
We almost ALWAYS start off with things going "normal". Foreplay, touching, carressing...etc. That always leads to vaginal sex. Which can THEN lead to anal. BUT..if I am feeling tense and not completely relaxed, then we ALWAYS start with a backrub. The ongoing joke is to call it a baaaackrub.
I will be completely naked, and have my hubs give me a very nice, relaxing and sexy backrub. Then start with the fingering and orgasms, then it's a little vaginal sex, then proceed to anal. VERY...VERY...SLOWLY.
We have been through SO many lubes that it's insane. I swear we could have bought another car with the money that we have spent on trying different lubes just to find the perfect one for anal. We have finally find the best one ever. It's Swiss Navy Silicone Lubricant by MD Science Labs. It's pretty expensive but sooo worth it.
So, now the foreplay and lube is covered. Now..position. What position are you trying to get the job done in? What works for us, and is most comfortable for me is to start with me laying flat on my stomach. My hubs will enter very slowly and is very patient in letting me stretch and become comfortable with being stuffed with cock in my ass. Then, the thrusting. Again, like I said...VERY slowly. Once I'm comfortable completely, things get pretty crazy pretty quickly. The trick is getting started because once you're comfy and super into it..it's really easy to change positions.
I'm very curious to hear the details of what's going on that is making you so uncomfortable and hope this could be some help. GOOD LUCK and try to be patient even with yourself. Our assholes seem to be the only body parts that don't exactly do what we want them to all the time.