How do I get my man to let me play with him anally?

sexysweetieshan sexysweetieshan
I got the idea for this post from another one. The one that asks about why do women have an anal fetish.

I am female and my husband of course is male. He has done anal penetration on me, with his own private parts and a toy and fingers. Because he always got to do things like that to me, one day after much begging, he finally let me put a finger in him. He did not like it though, and has not been open to trying anything at all since then. I'm not sure if he thinks anal play is gay for men, or if he really just honestly didn't enjoy it. I would LOVE to be able to finger him or use toys on him or even a strap on, but I don't think it will ever happen. And yes I have talked to him about it. He knows how I feel and that I want to do things like that, but he just doesn't want me to.

So should I just keep it in my fantasys? Is there anyway to open him up more to anal play? Any suggestions at all?
08/08/2010
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PassionQT PassionQT
Lay off it for a bit. He may/may not come around. However, from what you say, it sounds like its just not his thing. It may have to deal with him "submitting" to you, and if that isn't his personality, he won't enjoy it.
08/08/2010
sexysweetieshan sexysweetieshan
Quote:
Originally posted by PassionQT
Lay off it for a bit. He may/may not come around. However, from what you say, it sounds like its just not his thing. It may have to deal with him "submitting" to you, and if that isn't his personality, he won't enjoy it.
Yeah, I don't bother him often at all about it. Just sometimes when he mentions doing something like that to me, I bring it up then. But I never push the situation. I hate when he pushes things on me, so I don't do that to him.

Thanks for your input. You may be right that he may never come around to it, but I wish there was some way to make him enjoy it. It would be something new and fun to try. And it would definitely arouse me!
08/08/2010
Alicia Alicia
Quote:
Originally posted by sexysweetieshan
I got the idea for this post from another one. The one that asks about why do women have an anal fetish.

I am female and my husband of course is male. He has done anal penetration on me, with his own private parts and a toy and fingers. ... More
If he doesn't want to do it he won't enjoy it. I don't think there's going to be a way to try anything and make him like it. If he wants to do it he'll be open to it and be able to let himself really see if he enjoys it.

I kind of think it's like kids and trying new foods. If the child thinks they're going to dislike something they will dislike it. Now, if they're open to the idea of liking it there is still a 50/50 chance that they won't like it..but it's at least a fair chance.

So, if he comes around to the idea then you have a chance that he might like it once he tries it. But if you try to convince him, or he just allows it because you beg..then he's not going to be as open to it and chances are he will not like it.
08/08/2010
Kindred Kindred
As already suggested, go slow. Don't insist on using your finger immediately. Start with just stimulating his perineum using your tongue or massaging the area with a lubed hand/finger. Once he realizes how sensitive and pleasurable this area can be, he might be more receptive initially to inserting your finger and then more. Good luck!
08/08/2010
sexysweetieshan sexysweetieshan
Quote:
Originally posted by Kindred
As already suggested, go slow. Don't insist on using your finger immediately. Start with just stimulating his perineum using your tongue or massaging the area with a lubed hand/finger. Once he realizes how sensitive and pleasurable this area ... More
Yeah I have used a finger before which he was open to doing, but he didn't quite enjoy it, so I may have to start slower if he ever lets me do it again.
08/08/2010
ScottA ScottA
Don't push it - start with adding perinium and/or buttock stimulation to something else (handjob/blowjob/whate ver). As he gets more comfortable with it you could try to talk to him about external anal stimulation, where you rub a lubricated finger over the anus and anal area without penetrating - good for getting used to the stimulation. The bad thing is that he might be thinking about where this might lead and not enjoy it.
08/09/2010
sexysweetieshan sexysweetieshan
Quote:
Originally posted by ScottA
Don't push it - start with adding perinium and/or buttock stimulation to something else (handjob/blowjob/whate ver). As he gets more comfortable with it you could try to talk to him about external anal stimulation, where you rub a lubricated ... More
Thanks for the suggestion. I've gotten a few good suggestions here, so I'll have to eventually try it out and just be open with him and make sure he knows I'm not pushing but willing if he ever changes his mind.
08/09/2010
ScottA ScottA
Quote:
Originally posted by sexysweetieshan
Thanks for the suggestion. I've gotten a few good suggestions here, so I'll have to eventually try it out and just be open with him and make sure he knows I'm not pushing but willing if he ever changes his mind.
Try being up front - tell him you love playing with his butt, and can you play with it if you promise not to put anything inside without talking to him first?
08/10/2010
RickE72 RickE72
Quote:
Originally posted by sexysweetieshan
I got the idea for this post from another one. The one that asks about why do women have an anal fetish.

I am female and my husband of course is male. He has done anal penetration on me, with his own private parts and a toy and fingers. ... More
Shannon, The guy doesn't know what he's missing! I am single, without a girlfriend, I wish I had a lady like you to do ALL those things to me!

Try a 69 position, and just lightly rub a wet (spit will work fine) finger over the outer perimeter of his anus. Let him know that using a toy, strap on, and/or finger is your fantasy, and that only HE can fulfill it. See what happens.
08/10/2010
sexysweetieshan sexysweetieshan
Quote:
Originally posted by RickE72
Shannon, The guy doesn't know what he's missing! I am single, without a girlfriend, I wish I had a lady like you to do ALL those things to me!

Try a 69 position, and just lightly rub a wet (spit will work fine) finger over the outer ... More
Thanks for the suggestions. I actually talked to him about it again yesterday (it's been awhile, because I'm trying not to be pushy), and reminded him of how I'm changing and trying new things for him, and I just hope that in the future he will be more open to letting me try new things on HIM. He said he would try, so that's at least a start! I really think a big part of the issue, is he's afraid to like it, because he will think he's gay or something. I've tried to explain that's not true. I told him that a lot of straight males on here like anal play, so I think he's trying to open up at least. That's a start.
08/11/2010
secretnooner secretnooner
Quote:
Originally posted by sexysweetieshan
I got the idea for this post from another one. The one that asks about why do women have an anal fetish.

I am female and my husband of course is male. He has done anal penetration on me, with his own private parts and a toy and fingers. ... More
i was the same as your hubby, my wife begged me and tried a finger....i hated it the first time! a month later she tried again and i was relaxed, soon one finger was two then three....3 years later its big toys and strap-ons....love it....he will come around
08/11/2010
twistedheartsx twistedheartsx
I've tried and tried and it's just not my thing. I think he'll come around, haha.
08/11/2010
sexysweetieshan sexysweetieshan
Quote:
Originally posted by secretnooner
i was the same as your hubby, my wife begged me and tried a finger....i hated it the first time! a month later she tried again and i was relaxed, soon one finger was two then three....3 years later its big toys and strap-ons....love it....he will ... More
That's good to hear! It gives me "hope" that he can change his view on it and become more relaxed. That's awesome. Thanks.
08/12/2010
secretnooner secretnooner
Quote:
Originally posted by sexysweetieshan
That's good to hear! It gives me "hope" that he can change his view on it and become more relaxed. That's awesome. Thanks.
no problem....be glad to give more advice as well.
08/12/2010
sexysweetieshan sexysweetieshan
Quote:
Originally posted by secretnooner
no problem....be glad to give more advice as well.
Thanks. I'll definitely know who to go to if I need more advice on this situation!
08/13/2010
Yoda Yoda
I would try to convince him that there is a whole other world of orgasm he's missing out on. To climax while having the prostate stimulated is just awesome.
08/20/2010
Rossie Rossie
Quote:
Originally posted by sexysweetieshan
I got the idea for this post from another one. The one that asks about why do women have an anal fetish.

I am female and my husband of course is male. He has done anal penetration on me, with his own private parts and a toy and fingers. ... More
When you put your finger in him, were you also giving him a nice blow job simultaneously? I kinda have the same situation like you. He wouldn't let me finger him at the beginning, but several sessions later I stuck my lubricated finger into him while he was enjoying my blowjob, he ejaculated immediately (although he still pretended he didn't want me to touch his ass!).
08/20/2010
sexysweetieshan sexysweetieshan
Quote:
Originally posted by Rossie
When you put your finger in him, were you also giving him a nice blow job simultaneously? I kinda have the same situation like you. He wouldn't let me finger him at the beginning, but several sessions later I stuck my lubricated finger into ... More
No, I haven't tried it that way. I may have to try that though! That's a great idea. Thanks!
08/21/2010
sexysweetieshan sexysweetieshan
Quote:
Originally posted by Yoda
I would try to convince him that there is a whole other world of orgasm he's missing out on. To climax while having the prostate stimulated is just awesome.
I'll tell him you said that! Lol. Thanks.
08/21/2010
shepegs shepegs
Tell him to come here and talk to us. I'm 100% straight and I LOVE getting pegged with a strapon from my girl. It is insane fun and I an NOT attracted to men.

Why do you fantasies about pegging him?
08/21/2010
sexysweetieshan sexysweetieshan
Quote:
Originally posted by shepegs
Tell him to come here and talk to us. I'm 100% straight and I LOVE getting pegged with a strapon from my girl. It is insane fun and I an NOT attracted to men.

Why do you fantasies about pegging him?
I'll have to show him this forum post with all these straight men saying they like it!

I'm not sure why I fantasize about it. It's just something that really turns me on. I don't know why though. I love male on male porn the most too. Maybe it has something to do with that. Maybe I secretly wish I was a gay male or something. Haha. I don't know.
08/22/2010
Brian Brian
Shan, just thought I'd comment that I'm a guy in the same position of wanting this but my wife isn't into it. At least not yet. I'd repeat what everyone said with not pushing it but also letting him know how you feel. It seems like there's always one side of the relationship that's more into it than the other but sometimes the other side ends up enjoying it once they get into it. The key is not forcing them to do it since there's very little chance of them enjoying it then. One option you may look into if he's not into anal at all really is to look into one of the aneros toys. They'll help him learn more about the feelings you can experience and there not too intimidating. Best of luck to you 2.
08/27/2010
sexysweetieshan sexysweetieshan
Quote:
Originally posted by Brian
Shan, just thought I'd comment that I'm a guy in the same position of wanting this but my wife isn't into it. At least not yet. I'd repeat what everyone said with not pushing it but also letting him know how you feel. It seems like ... More
Thanks for the advice Brian! I am not pushing at all. It's just kind of a fantasy of mine. He knows I want to do things like that with him, and it's brought up every now and then, but it's never forced on him. I've learned I've just gotta take it slow and that he still may never enjoy it.
08/28/2010
Brian Brian
Quote:
Originally posted by sexysweetieshan
Thanks for the advice Brian! I am not pushing at all. It's just kind of a fantasy of mine. He knows I want to do things like that with him, and it's brought up every now and then, but it's never forced on him. I've learned I've ... More
Yeah that's the hard part is accepting that there's a possibility it may never happen. I think that's part of being a good partner though is being willing to not allows get everything you want in exchange for a better relationship. I notice when I get focussed on anything like this or other things it hurts the relationship some.
08/28/2010
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by sexysweetieshan
Thanks for the suggestions. I actually talked to him about it again yesterday (it's been awhile, because I'm trying not to be pushy), and reminded him of how I'm changing and trying new things for him, and I just hope that in the future ... More
Would he come on to Eden and see that anal play for a man does NOT "equal Gay?" Men have just as many sensory endings in their anus as women, AND they have a prostate gland, that provides even more pleasure.

Some educating about how anal love works, and his seeing how many men here, who are straight and married etc and still love to engage in recipient anal play might help him.
08/28/2010
sexysweetieshan sexysweetieshan
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
Would he come on to Eden and see that anal play for a man does NOT "equal Gay?" Men have just as many sensory endings in their anus as women, AND they have a prostate gland, that provides even more pleasure.

Some educating about how ... More
He's unfortunately currently away on business, but I planned to make a post just for him to read once he comes back, asking all the men on Eden to tell him personally that anal play is not always for gay people and that he really may enjoy it! So that's my plan in the future!!!!
08/29/2010
Total posts: 27
Unique posters: 13