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So my husband and I have only had anal sex once, a long time ago before we were even married. We would both like to make it part of our normal routine in the bedroom. We aften play around with the idea but when it comes down to it I'm just way
So my husband and I have only had anal sex once, a long time ago before we were even married. We would both like to make it part of our normal routine in the bedroom. We aften play around with the idea but when it comes down to it I'm just way too tight back there! The only time it seems possible is if I'm super turned on, like when I haven't seen my hubby for a long period of time. Is there any tips that you all have for working up to the actual deed? I know lots of people say have some wine before or whatever but that hasn't worked, I go numb when I drink and I don't think this would be at all safe in this situation. Any advice would be great!
I am SUPER tight back there. Always have been. In fact, during a colonoscopy the gastro doc noted I had several muscle ring "strictures" and even asked if I had "problems" from them (constipation). NO..I never did.
However, I am also VERY into anal sex and have been with multiple lovers and now my hubby for the last 32 years.
The trick is SIMPLE. and it is NOT booze!!!! 1. RELAX, as in make sure you have TIME, when you are going to play back there. It is NOT a quicky activity.
2. LUBE, LUBE and MORE LUBE. Experiment to find which works for you. Some liquid silicones are GREAT (very slick), but NOT good with toys. Other THICK JELLY LUBES work great for us too.
3. PREP, PREP, PREP. Get a LUBE SHOOTER...looks like a blunt edge syringe to inject lube INSIDE the anus and rectum. LOTS of lube. MORE then you think you need, then add extra. Once you add extra, use MORE. Understand. Don't skimp on lube. We have had nice, long anal sessions where we have EMPTIED two tubes of lube. Maybe more. THAT IS FINE. It is worth it.
We use waterproof sheets and towels and now have the Liberator Thro's which pop in the wash, protect our sheets and mattress and look/feel wonderful. No worries and stress to tighten me up if I know there are NO clean up worries and NO concerns about lube getting everywhere.
Oh..we have a Liberator floor cover too...slick, perfect for that ALL DAY anal play, with lube everywhere...and NO headaches!!!! Just turn up the heat in the house, it gets cold.
4. Stretch a bit. That means FINGERS go there first (my hubby uses tongue, fingers, kisses, caresses and THIN toys....less then an inch) to open me up. I have a BUNCH of anal plugs too, now, but they are all SLENDER!!!!!!! A great GO TO toy for this at EF is "key to my butt".
I now sometimes wear a slender plug for hours (even out on the town), which helps me get ready for all night anal play...but that came come later.
5. POSITION, POSITION, POSITION. Forget the classic "porn movie" doggy style. Never could do this without pain, and I HATE PAIN. I have told this to other woman who also agreed with me, so I am NOT alone in this one.
For me, the MOST comfortable is to lay on my left side (down), with my top leg forward, like the advice on an enema box for taking an enema comfortably. However, I do this while scooted to the very edge of the bed, so my butt is right at the edge of the bed. My hubby STANDS behind me and his cock is kind of pointed towards my belly button from the back, if you can picture that, as he enters me. I can do HOURS of anal that way in TOTAL comfort.
Another way we love is modified missionary. I get my butt on some slender pillow (again, we often use one of the THIN Liberator pillows, like their new HEART shape one), and then either with him standing and me at the the edge of the bed, or with him kneeling on the bed, I will have my legs UP over his shoulders (or feet on his upper chest) and he enters me MISSIONARY style. This is great since he can reach my boobs and clit or even use a vibe on my pussy and clit, during anal play. He often grabs my ankles and pushes my legs even higher before he comes, making him go even deeper into my tush. YUM.
Another KEY is that PUMPING and THRUSTING (again, PORN makes it seem like anal and vaginal are the same thing) is NOT always needed and can come along WAY later. Especially if you are TIGHT, he can just enter you and barely move. HE will still come and so will YOU.
Be content with even having his tip in for a few times. Maybe an inch or two later.
You have the RIGHT IDEA and just need to proceed...but SLOWLY. That is the key. SLOW..gentle and SLOW.
Pain does NOT need to be part of this. It is NOT for me!!!!
The BIGGEST thing is that YOU are in control. If you say STOP, he stops. If you say SLOWER, he moves slower. ETC. Trust and RESPECT is key.
ENJOY!!!!! We do.