I want it and he doesn't?

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I want it and he doesn't?

Sera Sera
What if I'd like to experiment with anal, and he thinks it's disgusting? I asked my husband if he'd mind if I had an anal plug in during sex (never tried it, but just ordered the ryder), and he was grossed out, but reluctantly said okay. Should I quit trying and making comments and just leave it alone, and just masturbate on my own? I respect his feelings, and I know that it has to be consensual for both, or else I wouldn't dare! I just get too curious sometimes. Please help!
08/05/2010
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Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Sera
What if I'd like to experiment with anal, and he thinks it's disgusting? I asked my husband if he'd mind if I had an anal plug in during sex (never tried it, but just ordered the ryder), and he was grossed out, but reluctantly said okay. ...
If he is unwilling to listen to the things that you feel might be pleasurable in bed then you need some conversation and he needs a reality check! Being open to the possibilities is one of the joys of being in a relationship. Still you do have your masturbation time to experiment and enjoy anal...perhaps if you begin by showing him how you masturbate he might work up to trying ti with you. If he's worried about cleanliness there's always condoms.
Good luck to you both!
08/06/2010
Sera Sera
It's just that I've been in relationships where I didn't want to do something and they did and I was manipulated. I don't want to do that to him, and that's why I've just done it myself. Because I know how it feels to be persuaded into something. I don't want to guilt him, and if he doesn't want to try it then he doesn't have to, you know?
10/25/2010
ScottA ScottA
Quote:
Originally posted by Sera
It's just that I've been in relationships where I didn't want to do something and they did and I was manipulated. I don't want to do that to him, and that's why I've just done it myself. Because I know how it feels to be ...
You can try to find out why he's grossed out and work to address those fears. It's probably a mess thing.
10/26/2010
mrs.mckrakn mrs.mckrakn
Quote:
Originally posted by ScottA
You can try to find out why he's grossed out and work to address those fears. It's probably a mess thing.
sound like a good idea. there has to be a reason behind his thoughts and feelings
10/28/2010
Jessica Elizabeth Jessica Elizabeth
I agree with talking to him and seeing what exactly causes him to be so grossed out by it. Perhaps after figuring that out you'll be able to help ease his fears and you two can have a better understanding of each other's feelings about it.

I also agree with seeing if he'd be willing to watch you masturbate while using anal play as well. Perhaps that would also help ease his fears about it.
10/28/2010
whubwa whubwa
It's all well and good to say a partner needs to be open to the possibilities... But what if the shoe was on the other foot? What if your husband wanted to do something that you didn't find sexy? Everyone is not open to EVERY single sexual act. The idea is to simply be honest and find middle ground. Of course masturbation is good. So if he's not into it, then I would suggest getting some awesome toys to enjoy on your own.

It's good to be honest and understand how you feel about different sexual things. So talk it out and get a good understanding for it. And all in all, you can enjoy some FUN masturbation time! Have fun!
10/28/2010
ScottA ScottA
Quote:
Originally posted by whubwa
It's all well and good to say a partner needs to be open to the possibilities... But what if the shoe was on the other foot? What if your husband wanted to do something that you didn't find sexy? Everyone is not open to EVERY single sexual ...
It's true that you don't want to be bugging him about it all the time, but it's also important to find out why a partner isn't interested in something if at all possible. It helps you to understand them, and also helps for you to potentially find a compromise. For instance, if he really is just worried about mess, then once you know that you can address the problem and possibly add a new activity that you both like. On the other hand if you talk and he says he believes it is completely unnatural then you probably won't get anywhere with partner play there.
10/29/2010
Total posts: 8
Unique posters: 6