If someone has had anal but not vaginal sex, are they still a virgin?

Contributor: Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by LavenderSkies
This doesn't pertain to me but I'm just curious as to what you all think!
Sex is sex. Even the term "virgin" is silly now days. It used to apply to an "intact hymen", which very few girls have after doing any hard sports. However, if you want to "save vaginal penetration" for marriage...well, I guess you can convince yourself you are still a "virgin" and if it makes you both happy...that is super.
06/21/2011
Contributor: Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by Taylor
I had a friend in high school who did this. She had anal sex with her boyfriend so that she could still call herself a virgin. Her logic didn't make sense to me then and it still doesn't now.
I dated a girl just like this in college. She was WILD in bed..oral, and taught me all about anal...in a thousand ways. However, she was "DON'T TOUCH the inside of my vagina...I am saving that for my husband". What more can I say. Worked in her mind.
06/21/2011
Contributor: Eucaly Eucaly
Quote:
Originally posted by Airekah
Technically for a female, you are a virgin until the hymen has been broken but in my opinion... penetration constitutes virginity loss. OF ANY KIND.
No. A lot of women have broken hymens from non-sexual causes or were never born with them. These women don't get classified as non-virgin for that. They never had sex, so they are virgins. Hymen doesn't have anything to do with it.

And then there is hymen preservation in some (such as me) who have vaginal sex. Yes, I still had a very large, noticeable hymen after 2 years of regular vaginal sex! It just stretched out of the way easily each time!

And I still have a (very stretched but much smaller) hymen now. It would be ridiculous to call a woman who has regular penis-in-vagina sex a virgin just because of one technical quirk of anatomy.
06/24/2011
Contributor: K101 K101
Yes. Virgin to me, means you've never had penis in vagina sex, ever. If you've never had that, but have had anal sex then you are still a virgin vaginally, but not anally. I've had sex vaginally, but never anally does that make my butt non-virgin? NO! So having sex anally DOES NOT BREAK YOUR HYMEN and a penis does not go inside your vagina so you are still a virgin... just a vagina virgin. lol
06/24/2011
Contributor: K101 K101
Quote:
Originally posted by Annemarie
Virginity is a state of mind, not a physical status. If a person feels that anal sex isn't virginity-seizing, then it's not. If a person feels that vaginal sex isn't virginity-seizing, then it's not as well.

As a child, I was ... more
Oh my! Bless you're heart. I was in a similar situation at 15, but it was not stolen anally. Still any kind of rape (or molestation which ever one happens.) is traumatic and I'm sorry you went through that. I think you were right to still be a virgin. You were. You didn't ask for that to happen. You know, I don't count my rapist on my "list of sex partners." Once my partner had brought up how many we'd slept with and it hit me that my number was wrong. It was actually one more than I'd ever counted and it was very upsetting to have to add him to my list. My partner told me it doesn't count. He said women like us should not HAVE to count it whether it's in your type of situation or mine (adding one more to my list when I wasn't willing.) I agreed with him and I've never counted my rapist as a sex partner. Most people would totally shit on me and say it's wrong, I should count him, but I will never. I don't think you should count that as taking your virginity. I've always felt that you are a virgin until you've had PIV penetration and/or had your hymen broken whichever comes first. Now if you have anal sex, but never vaginally, you're still a virgin vaginally. If you've only had oral sex, but no other types, your still a virgin except for your mouth or genitals if you were recieving. Anyways, you get the pic. You were still a virgin. It didn't change because the person had stolen it anally. I don't think any person should ever have to count it in any way when it was taken, violated, etc. I really feel that way.
06/24/2011
Contributor: Wondermom Wondermom
IMO no, you have had sex, but if you only define losing it as PIV sex then I guess she has the right to think shes still a virgin.
06/24/2011
Contributor: Wondermom Wondermom
Quote:
Originally posted by K101
Oh my! Bless you're heart. I was in a similar situation at 15, but it was not stolen anally. Still any kind of rape (or molestation which ever one happens.) is traumatic and I'm sorry you went through that. I think you were right to still be ... more
I agree, rape or molestation is not losing your virginity, you need to be fully consenting in the sex act to lose your virginity.
06/24/2011
Contributor: AbbyLover AbbyLover
anal virgin no
vaginal virgin yes
04/24/2012
Contributor: Fawkes Fawkes
no... just, no
05/05/2012
Contributor: LittleA LittleA
This is funny because when I was 16 this girl was bragging that she was still a virgin, but she had done everything but vaginal sex, and mostly anal, and I thought she was high for thinking she wasn't a virgin, infact I thought she was way opposite a virgin! Hope her boyfriend became a car salesman, because he totally sold her on taking it in the ass and thinking she was still virginal. I'm sorry, no.
05/07/2012
Contributor: prettynpink prettynpink
My husband told me once that his first girlfriend had that theory and I thought it was ridiculous/hilarious
05/08/2012
Contributor: Do emu Do emu
No. Virginity is a social construct anyways. I think it's stupid.
05/08/2012
Contributor: Thomas90 Thomas90
No, its anal SEX for a reason!
05/08/2012
Contributor: Nanuk Nanuk
Its still sex
05/10/2012
Contributor: theavocadopit theavocadopit
Quote:
Originally posted by Taylor
I had a friend in high school who did this. She had anal sex with her boyfriend so that she could still call herself a virgin. Her logic didn't make sense to me then and it still doesn't now.
Agree
05/15/2012
Contributor: cryinglightning86 cryinglightning86
I personally think that virginity is an archaic concept based on an outdated and oppressive idea of purity. I don't really think that anyone that is sexually aware of themselves is a virgin. I count masturbation in that as well, but I realize that's probably not the most orthodox stance. At the very least, any sort of sexual contact with a partner should count, whether oral/vaginal/anal/manu al/whatever. However, so long as what you're doing feels good and is safe, I don't really think that the concept of "virgin" matters one bit.
05/16/2012
Contributor: namelesschaos namelesschaos
Virginity is a social construct based on highly problematic beliefs. A futile attempt to reduce a process into a binary system. Meaningless labels.

An analogy let say your doing a job interview, which of these seems like a more logical question to ask. Which give you a clearer picture.

Are you a business virgin?
What type of experience do you have in business?

Now replace "business" with "sex" which is the more logical question to ask? The concept of virginity is about usefully as that of a one-word. resume.

A person who has had anal sex but not vaginal sex is "a person who has anal sex but not vaginal sex" why label the data anything other then that? What is gained? Call this person a virgin or not a virgin either way you only lose data. A "a person who has anal sex but not vaginal sex" is a more meaningful and useful description then "virgin or not a virgin" ever will be.
05/16/2012
Contributor: PropertyOfPotter PropertyOfPotter
Quote:
Originally posted by Envy
Doesn't make sense to me as you're still being penetrated by someone's genitals.
that's how I feel too!
05/16/2012
Contributor: Love Obsessed Love Obsessed
I wouldn't say so but,if it makes them feel better about themselves it's fine with me.I've joke about the fact that I'm still a virgin because I've never had a great experience in bed.Whether I would actually claim to be one remains to be seen.
05/16/2012
Contributor: gsfanatic gsfanatic
Depends a lot on what you believe. Think it meets the definition.
05/16/2012
Contributor: lisasharrer lisasharrer
Quote:
Originally posted by LavenderSkies
This doesn't pertain to me but I'm just curious as to what you all think!
well your puss is but your anais well hell no
05/30/2012
Contributor: Missmarc Missmarc
Quote:
Originally posted by LavenderSkies
This doesn't pertain to me but I'm just curious as to what you all think!
Nope.
02/19/2013
Contributor: Raymaker Raymaker
Virginity is a state of mind based upon experience. If only Penis-in-vagina penetration counted as sex then lesbians and gay men the world over would almost all die virgins. And before anybody brings this up: it makes no sense to switch the definition because of the sexuality of the person in question.

Vaginal sex is sex. Oral sex is sex. Anal sex is sex. Manual sex is sex.

Sex is sex. It's right there in the name.
02/19/2013
Contributor: souviet souviet
Quote:
Originally posted by LavenderSkies
This doesn't pertain to me but I'm just curious as to what you all think!
a virgin hasn't had sex period. :/
02/19/2013
Contributor: Sima-pusya Sima-pusya
No.
02/20/2013
Contributor: Trysexual Trysexual
Quote:
Originally posted by Taylor
I had a friend in high school who did this. She had anal sex with her boyfriend so that she could still call herself a virgin. Her logic didn't make sense to me then and it still doesn't now.
Never understood this either.
02/20/2013
Contributor: twelve13 twelve13
I, personally, wouldn't consider myself a virgin in that situation. However, I don't like to define sex for other people, so I really think it would depend on the people involved.
02/20/2013
Contributor: jj1228 jj1228
I vote yes. Penetration is happening with a sexual partner. It is called anal sex so I am going with that. It's sex. Hhhmm but oral sex is not consider sex. Maybe just the lower half is consider sex.
03/21/2013
Contributor: raffi raffi
sex is sex. as far as i'm concerned a blowjob and / or fingering and / or handjobs also negate virginity.

any act of sexual contact negates virginity.

i have friends in their 20's and 30's that are like "oh i'm a virgin because i've never had full intercourse" ... what? ... have you given or received a blowjob? ... "yes" ... then you're not a virgin, you're not innocent!
03/21/2013
Contributor: never shy never shy
To me if its possible to get a std engaging in the activity then its sex don't get me wrong never had a std but it stands for sexually transmitted disease and you can get it from anal and the key word of std is sexually so there fore anal is sex so yes that is taking your virginity
03/21/2013