Is this normal?

Jade Jade
Since the hubby and I started having anal he wants it every time. Sure it's fun, but every time... He actually seems to enjoy it more than vaginal. Especially after I had my second child. Which also makes me wonder if it's because I'm to... um well... loose. Don't get me wrong I like anal, just not every single time.
03/08/2010
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J's Alley J's Alley
Quote:
Originally posted by Jade
Since the hubby and I started having anal he wants it every time. Sure it's fun, but every time... He actually seems to enjoy it more than vaginal. Especially after I had my second child. Which also makes me wonder if it's because I'm ... More
Just ask him if he still likes your vagina If that fails, remember this could be a phase. Like when your kids get a new movie, you know, you have watch it like 50 times a day until they get bored. Only in this case he is less likely to get bored. I would just tell him that while you do enjoy it you would still like regular intercourse as well. And remind him that if it is an every so often kind of thing it will be better for him and you both.
03/08/2010
El-Jaro El-Jaro
Yeah. I agree with J's Alley.

If you're worried about being too loose, start/keep going on the Kegel's and you'll be all right.
03/08/2010
Jade Jade
J's Alley- Actually we usually start in front, if he goes back well that's it. No back to front. And when I say no to the anal he gets like all puppy dog sad eyes. The kid analogy is dead on because he looks like a kid who's had his favorite toy taken away.

Maybe you're right he'll get bored after awhile or find something else he likes better.

Mr. Sauce- I'm working on the kegal thing.
03/08/2010
Carrie Ann Carrie Ann
I'm with Alley... if it's a newer thing y'all have started fairly recently, it's still new and exciting to him. My guy gets like that even after 8 years of butt sex. He'll go months where he wants to do it every time, then not attempt it for a bit. Not sure why, he's not even sure why. (I've asked) But I've been reassured it's not a dislike for the old vagina nor a loose vs tight thing.

Just...

Sorta like how we'll find a new food we like and eat it repeatedly until it's not new anymore.

Or, yes, like kids and their new movies and toys.

Just something different and fun and exciting.

I'd say talk to him, tell him that you understand he likes it but it makes *you* sad that he wants it every time, like your vagina isn't good enough anymore and, while you like anal, that makes you like it less. Much easier to talk about it when you're not actively having sex, too. Then you don't get those puppy dog eyes !
03/08/2010
Rayne Millaray Rayne Millaray
Yeah, I'm with everyone here. It's probably just a phase. "Ooo! Shiny!", ya know? But ask him.
03/08/2010
Jade Jade
Thanks. No it's not new, it's like what Carrie Ann said. He'll go for awhile not wanting it but lately it just seems like all the time. Sorry for repeating myself.
I'll talk to him, and see what he says.

I guess I was just curious if other guys preferred butt to vagina.
03/08/2010
El-Jaro El-Jaro
Quote:
Originally posted by Rayne Millaray
Yeah, I'm with everyone here. It's probably just a phase. "Ooo! Shiny!", ya know? But ask him.
shiny anus?


neat!
03/08/2010
~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
Quote:
Originally posted by Jade
Since the hubby and I started having anal he wants it every time. Sure it's fun, but every time... He actually seems to enjoy it more than vaginal. Especially after I had my second child. Which also makes me wonder if it's because I'm ... More
I think it is just that it is taboo hun. It's new and exciting and I think it will eventually be less exciting and even out with vaginal sex.
03/08/2010
Victoria Victoria
Quote:
Originally posted by Carrie Ann
I'm with Alley... if it's a newer thing y'all have started fairly recently, it's still new and exciting to him. My guy gets like that even after 8 years of butt sex. He'll go months where he wants to do it every time, then not ... More
Very well put! I think this is great advice - although all the advice in this thread is good (aside form shiny anus!).

I think it just feels different too, not better - just different. Definitely talk about it with him!
03/08/2010
Sammi Sammi
Mine goes through phases. Sometimes that's all he wants, other times he doesn't want it as much.

The puppy dog eyes are awful, though . Definitely talk about it with him!
03/08/2010
Snozzberries Snozzberries
I'm throwing in my vote for shiny anus too. My husband does the same thing; goes in waves of a month or two and then a lull.
03/09/2010
Pleasureman Pleasureman
Quote:
Originally posted by Jade
Since the hubby and I started having anal he wants it every time. Sure it's fun, but every time... He actually seems to enjoy it more than vaginal. Especially after I had my second child. Which also makes me wonder if it's because I'm ... More
My girlfriend goes through the same thing. She introduced me to anal sex and now I want it every time. Don't get me wrong, I love the way her vagina feels, and I almost always start there, but there is just something erotic about anal sex that I can't get over.
03/09/2010
Liz2 Liz2
It is probably just a phase.... I wouldn't think too much about it but working on the kegels will probably make u feel more secure.
03/10/2010
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Part of the equation is also trusting his answer. If he says it's just something very exciting right now then trust he isn't trying to say there's something lacking everywhere else. I have this issue and it's caused so many problems in my relationship with Sigel. Oddly enough Arch will automatically tell me NOT to question his answers just accept them as fact...
03/10/2010
Jade Jade
Quote:
Originally posted by El-Jaro
shiny anus?


neat!
Um last I knew my anus wasn't shiny, but I'll check. Or well have the hubby check.
03/11/2010
Jade Jade
Thanks for all great advice. I do plan on talking to the hubby about this, although haven't had a chance yet. Since I have popped out two kids I am a little self conscience about being loose, but I'm going to try working on that with the kegals. If nothing else it might just make me feel better about it.
03/11/2010
Yesenia Yesenia
I'm with everyone here. It's probably just a phase but I would talk with him about it. Talking helps
05/03/2010
Vexed Vexed
Quote:
Originally posted by ~LaUr3n~
I think it is just that it is taboo hun. It's new and exciting and I think it will eventually be less exciting and even out with vaginal sex.
It's all about the naughtiness. It's more fun and erotic in that sense. It's a major turn on to know that a woman likes anal sex too, so for us guys, that's also a turn on.

I actually prefer the way the vagina feels around my penis. Yes, anal sex feels tighter, but not better, in my opinion. The opening of the vagina, the texture of the walls, and the shape of the vagina feel better to me. Sticking my cock in a woman's butt is all about the adventure.

Honestly, I'd love to go through a phase of having only anal sex for a while, as if my partner preferred anal to vaginal, but that's just a fantasy. Actually, my current girlfriend's limit for anal is a thumb. I sure wish that she were into more. Oh well.
06/27/2010
Vexed Vexed
Quote:
Originally posted by Jade
Thanks for all great advice. I do plan on talking to the hubby about this, although haven't had a chance yet. Since I have popped out two kids I am a little self conscience about being loose, but I'm going to try working on that with the ... More
Small tight vaginas aren't all that fun, in my opinion. I have more fun when a woman has a flexible vagina, and enjoys playing with large toys. An elastic vagina feels terrific. A tight vagina with limitations on how hard you can hump is no fun.
06/27/2010
trios trios
Quote:
Originally posted by Vexed
Small tight vaginas aren't all that fun, in my opinion. I have more fun when a woman has a flexible vagina, and enjoys playing with large toys. An elastic vagina feels terrific. A tight vagina with limitations on how hard you can hump is no fun.
I agree with this last post. My wife (and I) has had 3 babies. During sex before the kids, she could only take a limited number of sex positions because lots of them hurt her (I was younger then and had a hard one, which also didn't help).

Now that things have definitely stretched out, she can tolerate lots of positions (Kama sutra book here we come!) and I am looking into dildos to fill her up. To me it is the viscous vagina that feels good not tightness (sorry cant compare it to anal as we have never done that). It is more fun as Vexed mentioned.

BTW we are also in the same boat as I have a threesome fantasy (MFM) and I like to use a dildo as a fantasy 3rd guy (that jealous feeling is a turn on to me). I would want to use it every time, and have noticed this excitement temper with time though. We came up with and agreed upon "my night" and "her night" to make sure we each got what we wanted. So far its worked out great!
06/27/2010
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Jade
Since the hubby and I started having anal he wants it every time. Sure it's fun, but every time... He actually seems to enjoy it more than vaginal. Especially after I had my second child. Which also makes me wonder if it's because I'm ... More
Nanny, I like anal, too, but not every time. It's OK to say, "It's not going to be the best time for me to do that today." It's OK to state your preference, even when he wants something "badly."

Personally, I Like it a lot, but I can't take it every day. 3 to 4 times a week, sure, but I get uncomfortable if we do it daily. It's OK to tell him that, and also let him know that you REALLY crave PIV sex, also. When we first starting having anal, My Man wanted it all the time (OK he still does) but, I really really like PIV sex, (which at the time, we often didn't even get around to) Double penetration, with a dil in your vagina can help, but if you simply DON'T WANT anal at that particular time, he can take it, he's a Big Boy. Be kind, be gentle, be firm, but your needs are just as important as his are. You need to talk to him. Men like short sweet and to the point conversations, particularity if the two of you aren't used to talking about sex outside the bedroom.

I know we talk a lot about communication, but it's not just something to say. Letting your partner know what you want, and when you DON'T want something at the particular moment, is part of a partnership!

Sometimes talking about it when you are NOT having sex at the moment is helpful. It's hard to talk Sex when you are not doing it, especially when you are younger, but when you get in the habit of talking, the sex gets better, and he needs to know that saying, "Not now." Doesn't mean you are rejecting HIM, just that that particular kind of sex isn't what you feel comfortable with at the moment.

Good luck, honey.
06/28/2010
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Jade
Thanks for all great advice. I do plan on talking to the hubby about this, although haven't had a chance yet. Since I have popped out two kids I am a little self conscience about being loose, but I'm going to try working on that with the ... More
Honey, you're NOT "loose." The vagina has a capacity for accommodating anything from a small penis, to a large one, to small or large toys, to a child's head and body and then goes back to it's resting state, where the walls of the vagina TOUCH each other when not aroused. However, childbirth doesn't cause the vagina to actually "loosen." neither does sex or sex toys. (Unless you are actually doing damage to it, like some of those unusual "Twisted Object" porn models do, but we are talking 2 liter pop bottles on a daily basis, not one or two baby heads a few times in your life.)

He likes it because it's (as My Man says) Nasty and Taboo, and different. Don't feel self conscious about your vagina, yes, Kegals are really good for you and can help you have stronger orgasms and the toning is good for gripping him during sex, but neither having babies or having sex makes a woman "loose."

Think about it this way, is your mouth bigger than it was 10 years ago, from opening it wide to accommodate big bites of food? Of course not, it goes back to the way it was after you are done eating. The vagina isn't much different.
06/28/2010
Total posts: 23
Unique posters: 16