Receiving anal - a technique question

Kestrel Kestrel
When first being penetrated, you have to push out to open the outer sphincter. But once the dildo is in, and the thrusting back and forth begins, should you still be pushing out?
11/16/2010
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ToyTimeTim ToyTimeTim
Quote:
Originally posted by Kestrel
When first being penetrated, you have to push out to open the outer sphincter. But once the dildo is in, and the thrusting back and forth begins, should you still be pushing out?
The key is to be able to relax. Pushing out helps to some degree but at some point you will not be able to push out, your muscles will not push forever. After you learn to relax, you will not need to push out to insert the toy. The hard part is not clinching up.

For me warm up with fingers or smaller toy's to start with helps to stretch out so that I can use the toy I plan on finishing with.
11/16/2010
Jenn (aka kissmykitty) Jenn (aka kissmykitty)
I've actually never done the pushing out thing. Should I be? Haha. In any case, once my husband and I have got things "situated", there's no pushing out to deal with.
11/16/2010
Jobthingy Jobthingy
Quote:
Originally posted by Jenn (aka kissmykitty)
I've actually never done the pushing out thing. Should I be? Haha. In any case, once my husband and I have got things "situated", there's no pushing out to deal with.
I never have either.

Warm up, take it slow, lots of lube and relax.
11/16/2010
Coralbell Coralbell
I've never done the pushing out thing either. It might help you to get the toy inserted, but I don't think it would be very enjoyable to keep pushing out the entire time you're using it, even if you could keep it up for that long. It can take me a little while to relax at the beginning, but once I have something inserted I've never had a problem with clenching up.
11/16/2010
Riccio Riccio
Here is a link to a guide to anal sex, written by a woman. As everyone says here, she emphasizes that relaxation is the key.

So take your time, you do not have to have full penetration the first time.

link
11/17/2010
ScottA ScottA
The big thing with pushing is, as dwtim noted, it does tend to help you relax the anus. You don't have to push, but don't go the other way and think that pushing is connected with inexperience. I sometimes push and sometimes don't, depending on the situation.

Once the toy/penis/other body part is inserted take some time to let things rearrange and relax. Once that's done you shouldn't need to continue to push out, but if you're having problems with the toy "hanging up" on something inside pushing for a while can help to move things around. The big thing is to not tense up the anus unless you're more experienced and are doing it intentionally (and can relax it just as easily).

If you're doing penile-anal sex pushing out from time to time can toss things up a bit, as can occasional clenching of the anus, but with a dildo or finger your partner doesn't really notice.
11/17/2010
~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
Quote:
Originally posted by Kestrel
When first being penetrated, you have to push out to open the outer sphincter. But once the dildo is in, and the thrusting back and forth begins, should you still be pushing out?
In my opinion, you shouldn't be pushing at all lol. If you are relaxed enough, have lube, and the proper sized toy the outer sphincter should not require anything else.

For me, pushing tenses, not relaxes.
11/17/2010
Dusk Dusk
Quote:
Originally posted by Riccio
Here is a link to a guide to anal sex, written by a woman. As everyone says here, she emphasizes that relaxation is the key.

So take your time, you do not have to have full penetration the first time.

link ... More
Thanks, this was really helpful! As a novice, I still haven't learned to relax. Grr. In the shower was always better, but now I live in a dorm so no shower sex for me
11/17/2010
Riccio Riccio
Quote:
Originally posted by Dusk
Thanks, this was really helpful! As a novice, I still haven't learned to relax. Grr. In the shower was always better, but now I live in a dorm so no shower sex for me
I am glad that you found that useful, Dusk. About relaxing, I can only say that you are trusting him with a very delicate part of your body. If you are not sure about him, you will not relax.

The only bit I would add to the guide is for the man to wear a condom. You do not want to ruin your bliss by sharing a urinary tract infection.

When I was a student in the US, I hated living in a dorm, so I understand your frustration. It was noisy and there was no privacy. I practically lived in the library. I had a fantasy about meeting a beautiful fellow student in the "stacks," as we called the open-shelved section, but it remained a fantasy. She did not know I existed.
11/17/2010
Sera Sera
Quote:
Originally posted by Kestrel
When first being penetrated, you have to push out to open the outer sphincter. But once the dildo is in, and the thrusting back and forth begins, should you still be pushing out?
Honestly, it might just depend on what you're comfortable with doing with your body,.
11/17/2010
Ropeguy Ropeguy
Ya relaxing can take some practice, but worth the time. Pushing out at the beginning can help get the toy in, but from my experience doesn't really help you relax once it is in.
11/23/2010
Yoda Yoda
After a short while, you shouldn't have to keep pushing.
11/25/2010
Total posts: 13
Unique posters: 12