Scar Tissue & Anal Play

Not Here Anymore f/k/a Happy Lady Not Here Anymore f/k/a Happy Lady
(Graphic description warning)

When my first child was born, she had a whopping 19" head. (Measure that with a tape measure to see the full effect.) She got stuck in the birth canal and the situation escalated to the doctor doing a total midline episiotomy on me. It was a cut completely through to my anal muscle. It took months (around 9) to heal, and I still have scar tissue through my perineum and into my anal wall.

I would really like to be able to one day experience double penetration. Right now I can only handle one really lubed finger, and that is usually quite painful. I breathe, I relax - all the recommended physical activities.

I look at the plugs and probes on EF, but they all seem HUGE.

Any suggestions for what I could get to maybe help this... if there is anything?
02/06/2009
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CaptainBunnyKilla CaptainBunnyKilla
The small njoy pure plug is only an inch in diameter, but even that is larger than a finger. Maybe start out with the small end of graduated beads like this and work your way up? Sorry I'm not more helpful. I really hope it gets better soon.
02/06/2009
Carrie Ann Carrie Ann
Quote:
Originally posted by Not Here Anymore f/k/a Happy Lady
(Graphic description warning)

When my first child was born, she had a whopping 19" head. (Measure that with a tape measure to see the full effect.) She got stuck in the birth canal and the situation escalated to the doctor doing a total ... More
Scar tissue is tough. Literally and figuratively. It has no give, no flex, no real stretchability and that creates a tough situation when it's in a place you need to have give and flex and stretchability.

I'm obviously not qualified to give medical advice but I'd say keep working at it, slowly and patiently. You might never get there and accepting that and losing the tension of worry may help.

Maybe try one of these, which are all an inch or less in diameter?

link
link
link

I don't have a measuring tape handy but that seems not a whole lot larger than a finger?
02/06/2009
Beautiful Dreamer Beautiful Dreamer
Quote:
Originally posted by Not Here Anymore f/k/a Happy Lady
(Graphic description warning)

When my first child was born, she had a whopping 19" head. (Measure that with a tape measure to see the full effect.) She got stuck in the birth canal and the situation escalated to the doctor doing a total ... More
As uncomfortable as it may seem- I'd talk to your gynecologist. I have scarring from when my cervix was removed. I've come to accept that I'll never be able to use many larger toys. I have discussed with my gyno extensively options on how to reduce the pain/stretching techniques. For me, its better to just avoid large toys. BUT as my scarring is vaginal and not anal, there may be a world of difference. I'm not educated in this area enough to really give concrete advice. I apologize for this.

I can tell you Tantus has a plug, the Lil Flirt, which is barely larger than a finger and stays in place surprisingly well. My only gripe with it is that the base is a little large.
02/06/2009
Tuesday Tuesday
Quote:
Originally posted by Not Here Anymore f/k/a Happy Lady
(Graphic description warning)

When my first child was born, she had a whopping 19" head. (Measure that with a tape measure to see the full effect.) She got stuck in the birth canal and the situation escalated to the doctor doing a total ... More
Maybe daily practice with just your finger will get you over that. After my substantial episiotomy (but not as big as yours) sex hurt for years in the first minute unless I had sex every day or two. That's why I think a little daily practice might help.

Whenever someone talks about venturing into anal sex I have the urge to tell them not to. In my first experience with it I tore. I don't wish that on anyone. We were well lubed but my boyfriend was huge. On doctors orders I will never try it again.
02/06/2009
Not Here Anymore f/k/a Happy Lady Not Here Anymore f/k/a Happy Lady
Quote:
Originally posted by Beautiful Dreamer
As uncomfortable as it may seem- I'd talk to your gynecologist. I have scarring from when my cervix was removed. I've come to accept that I'll never be able to use many larger toys. I have discussed with my gyno extensively options on how ... More
Thanks all!

BD: It was actually my GYN who suggested a toy! He said to start with a finger and try to use something hard and plastic to do stretching. I just didn't even know where to start.
02/06/2009
Beautiful Dreamer Beautiful Dreamer
Quote:
Originally posted by Not Here Anymore f/k/a Happy Lady
Thanks all!

BD: It was actually my GYN who suggested a toy! He said to start with a finger and try to use something hard and plastic to do stretching. I just didn't even know where to start.
I'd think a silicone plug would help. Especially wearing it around for extended periods of time. But, like I mentioned, I don't have nearly enough education for this to be considered an expert opinion. Just a suggestion.

On another note- holy baby! I know average is right around 14" so bless your heart (and vagina) for delivering vaginally.
02/06/2009
Not Here Anymore f/k/a Happy Lady Not Here Anymore f/k/a Happy Lady
Quote:
Originally posted by Beautiful Dreamer
I'd think a silicone plug would help. Especially wearing it around for extended periods of time. But, like I mentioned, I don't have nearly enough education for this to be considered an expert opinion. Just a suggestion.

On another ... More
Oh yeah. Kid still has a huge head - but so do I. Most standard hats don't fit me.

You know what though: The scar tissue on the vagina side doesn't bother me at all. I'm sorry to hear you have that problem.
02/06/2009
Snappy Snappy
Try the Aneros Peridise Advanced Set. It's very small. Be sure to use a lube shooter to prelube and you'll find insertion easier and more comfortable, I suspect.
02/06/2009
Cinnamon Chambers Cinnamon Chambers
I would suggest the gumdrop. It isn't much bigger than a finger.
02/06/2009
ScottA ScottA
I'd go for the Slim link before the Little Flirt or Gumdrop because of the Slim's shape: smooth edges and a gradual taper up to 1". Both the Gumdrop and the Little Flirt, while a bit smaller (at least for the Little Flirt), have bumps that might be a bit uncomfortable.
Don't try to put it in all the way the first time, just relax and see how much you can get in and then go from there. Once you've mastered Slim, there are bigger versions of the plug that you can move on to if you want.
02/09/2009
Swallows Swallows
I had 4 children. The first one I also had a massive episiotomy, the second and third ones , I tore, and the fourth one was by far the worst. My doc thought that after having 3 children previously that I probably didn't require any kind of intervention in that department. WRONG! I tore badly, and it felt like it took forever to heal, but I don't have any problems with anal play.
03/09/2009
Victoria Victoria
I don't know if this is typical, but I had a fairly standard episiotomy 11 years ago when having my average size daughter then bad tearing coupled with a more extensive episiotomy (14 stitches = ugh)over 9 years ago with my enormous son's birth (10 pounds) which lead to scarring for years after. I noticed, after about 4 years, that the scarring had smoothed, the skin seemed almost restored - which I did not expect. Then a few more years went by and now the scar is barely there, inside and out. I have been seeing the same gynecologist for over 10 years, so she has seen the "progress" as well and although mentioning it once or twice, she didn't seemed surprised - so maybe this is somewhat typical? I hope! Ok, this is my TMI for the month I hope the boss doesn't read this!
03/09/2009
Cinnamon Chambers Cinnamon Chambers
Ok...Thank goodness I had 2 c sections!!! Whew...bless your hearts ladies.
03/09/2009
Victoria Victoria
Quote:
Originally posted by Cinnamon Chambers
Ok...Thank goodness I had 2 c sections!!! Whew...bless your hearts ladies.
Aww, I didn't know (until today) that you're a mom too You must have superior time management skills!
03/09/2009
Cinnamon Chambers Cinnamon Chambers
Completely off topic..but yes. My kids are 8 and 9 and in school. Getting up between 4 and 5 to get hubby out of the house helps a lot!
03/09/2009
MissFae MissFae
Whoo! Go Moms and the stuff we put our bodies through!
I have no advice, I just wanted to offer an encouraging hello I was lucky enough that even my big baby was only average (8lbs, 5oz).
I'm a HUGE fan of anal sex and I really hope that you can make it work for yourself.
03/09/2009
Snappy Snappy
There's an enzyme supplement called Vitalzym. It says that it helps the body to absorb scar tissue. It might be worth a try.
07/15/2009
Total posts: 18
Unique posters: 11