Trying Anal with my wife

Codezilla Codezilla
So, my wife and I have tried anal on a few different occasions. For the most part, she didn't really like it. We've both agreed to continue trying it, but I'm trying to find the best way to do it with her again.

So, what is the best way to go about having anal sex? What are some lubes that are recommended/positions or anything else that might help make the experience more pleasurable and certainly less painful for my wife?
10/15/2013
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Ansley Ansley
Try warming her up with a small plug or your fingers. As far as lube is concerned, a silicone hybrid is always a good choice. Sliquid Sassy is great for anal (though not a hybrid). Stay away from any desensitizing lubes or creams as it could lead to rips or tears. It's a slow journey for some people, you just have to be patient with it.
10/15/2013
Codezilla Codezilla
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
Try warming her up with a small plug or your fingers. As far as lube is concerned, a silicone hybrid is always a good choice. Sliquid Sassy is great for anal (though not a hybrid). Stay away from any desensitizing lubes or creams as it could lead to ... More
I've used fingers in the past, but there are some days where even that can hurt her. I believe that the lube we used is water based? Im not sure though. Is there anything I can do to help boost her confidence? We seem to be hitting a point where she wants to do it because she knows I really enjoy it, but I don't want to because I know it might hurt her.
And thanks for the feedback!
10/15/2013
PropertyOfPotter PropertyOfPotter
If she's not relaxed, you can use all the lube in the world and it might still cause her some discomfort.

Try using your fingers first and then a plug. Engage in some foreplay and make sure she's aroused before going for it. Using a good lube is important. I like silicone lubes because you don't usually need to reapply, but a thick water-based (like Maximus link) would work as well. You might need to reapply if you're using a water-based depending on how long your session lasts.

Go slow, don't just shove it in there and pound away. Follow her cues, make sure she's comfortable, and quicken your pace only when she's ready for it.

Make sure she knows you won't be upset with her if she needs you to stop, and if she's experiencing discomfort, you should. Anal often can feel a little weird, but it should never cause pain.

Just take your time and make sure you're both relaxed and enjoying each other!
10/15/2013
PropertyOfPotter PropertyOfPotter
Quote:
Originally posted by Codezilla
I've used fingers in the past, but there are some days where even that can hurt her. I believe that the lube we used is water based? Im not sure though. Is there anything I can do to help boost her confidence? We seem to be hitting a point where ... More
Has she explored at all on her own? That might help her concerns of pain. Going slow is always best, if your finger doesn't slide easily inside of her, and you have to push, she's not relaxed enough.
10/15/2013
Codezilla Codezilla
Thank you both for your input. Every little bit of info helps. We've been working on our communication and it really seems to help with not only our sex life, but our relationship in general.
10/16/2013
Rossie Rossie
Like PropertyOfPotter said, engage in foreplay first is a must, better yet, let her have a clitoral or vaginal orgasm before anal play/sex. When she is fully aroused, her anal sphincters will be more relaxed and receptive to penetration -- please make sure your nails are smoothly trimmed if you're using your fingers!
10/16/2013
Holly Wood Holly Wood
Biggest trick to figuring it out... EVER...

She needs to push out like she's having a bowel movement! If she's "trying to pull in," then all she's doing is tightening the sphincter that much more and making the discomfort (or even pain) worse!

Most people never think about the fact that it's like a one-way valve in some respect. It's got to be in the open position for things to work right.
10/17/2013
Codezilla Codezilla
Quote:
Originally posted by Holly Wood
Biggest trick to figuring it out... EVER...

She needs to push out like she's having a bowel movement! If she's "trying to pull in," then all she's doing is tightening the sphincter that much more and making the ... More
That is a completely new way of looking at it. Thank you. I never thought of it like that. Ill be sure to try that when I get home!
10/21/2013
Slutty Girl Problems Slutty Girl Problems
I definitely agree with the trend here - LOTS of foreplay with finger and toys to "warm up", and use TONS of lube!

Another suggestion not listed here: My boyfriend and I use medical-grade latex finger cots (like condoms for your fingers) for both me and him. Sometimes, the drag of a nail or knuckles can be painful inside. Using the finger cots, we get a slippery smooth feeling that really helps!
10/22/2013
Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by Holly Wood
Biggest trick to figuring it out... EVER...

She needs to push out like she's having a bowel movement! If she's "trying to pull in," then all she's doing is tightening the sphincter that much more and making the ... More
Very good and accurate advice. Thanks.
10/22/2013
Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by Codezilla
That is a completely new way of looking at it. Thank you. I never thought of it like that. Ill be sure to try that when I get home!
It really works.
10/22/2013
Codezilla Codezilla
Quote:
Originally posted by Slutty Girl Problems
I definitely agree with the trend here - LOTS of foreplay with finger and toys to "warm up", and use TONS of lube!

Another suggestion not listed here: My boyfriend and I use medical-grade latex finger cots (like condoms for your ... More
I have never heard of them before. I'll be sure to look them up so I can give them a try. Thank you!
10/22/2013
HouseWench HouseWench
In addition to finger cots, you should also try using your tongue a little. Not only will it lube up the area a bit, but it'll cause bloodflow to her lowerbits, which might help her be a bit more receptive.

Did you try with your smallest fingers first?
10/28/2013
Codezilla Codezilla
Quote:
Originally posted by HouseWench
In addition to finger cots, you should also try using your tongue a little. Not only will it lube up the area a bit, but it'll cause bloodflow to her lowerbits, which might help her be a bit more receptive.

Did you try with your smallest ... More
Sorry its taking me a long time to reply. Got a lot going on.

I've noticed that a lot of people don't really suggest ass to mouth. Is it safe?
And I normally slip in a pinky when we're fooling around to see what kind of mood she is in.
11/11/2013
Total posts: 15
Unique posters: 8