We have been having anal for a while now, but it is usually painful for me.

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We have been having anal for a while now, but it is usually painful for me.

sexystuffeve sexystuffeve
sexystuffeve
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We have had anal a few times now, but I just don't like it as much because it can be painful for me, there have only been two occassions where I have liked it.

Does anyone have any advice on how to keep it from being painful? or different possition to make it more comfortable??

We would just give it up all together but we don't want to get pregnant, but arent into condoms and the pill is out of the question for me because I don't want to mess with risking anything.

Any advice?
01/18/2012
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Elnoa Elnoa
Um... if it's painful STOP. STOP. STOP. Pain is a signal that you should STOP what you are doing immediately. The anus is very delicate and can tear easily.

The best things to do are to "start small", with a well-lubed finger or small toy. Perhaps leave a plug in, slowly graduating to a larger and larger diameter. Using beads may also help prepare you for anal sex. Don't forget lots of lube and to make sure you learn how to control your anal sphincter and surrounding muscles so you can relax and contract when it is convenient and pleasurable to do so.

And if it hurts, for heaven's sake, STOP.
01/19/2012
sexystuffeve sexystuffeve
Quote:
Originally posted by Elnoa
Um... if it's painful STOP. STOP. STOP. Pain is a signal that you should STOP what you are doing immediately. The anus is very delicate and can tear easily.

The best things to do are to "start small", with a well-lubed finger or ...
Well I have tried the butt blugs that they sell here and the thing is I can get it in and it doesn't bother me at all and like I said we have had a few experiences that I have actually enjoyed it... I am beginning to wonder if it is HOW he is putting his penis in, if he is just going to quickly or if the positioning is wrong, because like I said I have tried the plugs before and been fine and there have been occassions where I have actually enjoyed the sex.

Thank you for your help and your concern!

Maybe he should try a little foreplay back there first like you recommended, its a good idea.
01/19/2012
Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by sexystuffeve
Well I have tried the butt blugs that they sell here and the thing is I can get it in and it doesn't bother me at all and like I said we have had a few experiences that I have actually enjoyed it... I am beginning to wonder if it is HOW he is ...
Some foreplay is definitely what I'd recommend. Even seasoned anal players can't always "go from zero to penis" and make warming up part of the foreplay. Something else to consider is that for some people, it's just not going to be pleasurable. I'm like you where I've done it a bunch of times but I've only really enjoyed it a few times. I like plugs, but thrusting is usually too much for me.

Either way, good luck!
01/19/2012
P'Gell P'Gell
If it hurts, something is wrong. Don't just grit your teeth and bear it, you need to work on what the problem is.

There are other forms of birth control other than condoms and the Pill. There are diaphragms, cervical caps, The Sponge IUDs, female condoms, other forms of hormonal BC that sometimes aren't as difficult as the Pill, etc. Also, anal sex isn't really a great form of "birth control" as it is easy for semen to migrate from the anus into the vagina. I always clean up before I remove the dildo from my vagina after anal sex, and even then, he only comes inside when I am in "safe mode" during my cycle. The whole drippage thing gets me too nervous.

I love anal sex, but I have to have had a LOT of oral sex and at least one or two or three orgasms before we even think of having anal sex. Also, I find using something inside the vagina, a phallic vibrator or a dildo, makes it even more fun. We've been having anal sex for years, but I can't go from "Zero to penis" in a second, either. A LOT of warm up, PIV, oral sex, orgasms and fun are required first. It's really our "finishing act" when we are into it.
01/19/2012
sexystuffeve sexystuffeve
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
If it hurts, something is wrong. Don't just grit your teeth and bear it, you need to work on what the problem is.

There are other forms of birth control other than condoms and the Pill. There are diaphragms, cervical caps, The Sponge ...
Thanks for the other birth control ideas. We don't usually do anal, it isn't something that happens every time, but I don't like the idea of him having to stop just to keep from"letting it out" I want to pleasure him, but we are still weighing our options.
01/19/2012
sexystuffeve sexystuffeve
Quote:
Originally posted by Jul!a
Some foreplay is definitely what I'd recommend. Even seasoned anal players can't always "go from zero to penis" and make warming up part of the foreplay. Something else to consider is that for some people, it's just not going ...
Thanks!
01/19/2012
ScottA ScottA
Do you put the plugs in or your partner? It sounds like you aren't absolutely relaxed/comfortable/tr usting with partner anal activities, but OK on your own. In that case you need to back off and start over. You know you can trust yourself, so your anus can relax - but if there's any anxiety then you'll have a very hard time relaxing, and since you've had pain you will have a hard time relaxing.

I'm a fan of the Morin approach (Jack Morin, author of Anal Pleasure and Health). He advocates starting with solo external touch, learning to like it, then moving to small internal touch and up from there, then starting over again with external touch when you're introducing yourself to partner anal play. Back off from the "full anal sex" and have him rub a lubed finger around your anus, then after a few times (when you're able to relax while he's doing that) progress to a finger internally, then two fingers, than a toy - all the while making sure there's NO PAIN. When you're through that and absolutely ready for penis-anal sex then do lots of foreplay (many women say having an orgasm first helps with relaxation), choose a position where you can relax, then attempt it. If it doesn't work call it off, do some other anal play that you like, and try again another time.
01/23/2012
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Unique posters: 5