Then the topic came around to "who, if anyone, does the spreading", and it occurred to us we "did things different". She loves doggy style and apparently often lays with "chest on bed" and reaches around to spread her cheeks for her guy, and play with his cock that way as he enters her.
I am mostly on my back, or side, and if I am on my back, no one spreads anything. If I am on my side, I may reach around with my upper hand and pull up on the upper cheek to spread myself open for him, but mostly he does what he needs to, either for better access or for an optimal view (he loves to watch his tool enter me. We are both pretty visual. He will even hold a video camera so I can watch him enter me on the TV while he is doing it) .
Anyway, who does the spreading (and I don't mean the peanut butter and jelly), in your relationship?