Originally posted by
I'm very shy. I hate telling him, don't do this... or move it like this. I feel like a bitch.
If you're nice about asking for what you want no "bitchiness" will be perceived. Good partners want to please their lovers, so letting him know what works, what may not be your favorite thing, and what you may want to try is always good.
As women, so many of us were raised to not voice our opinions or to "hint" at what we wanted. As a group, men tend to NOT pick up on hints very much. (At least My Man doesn't. He has to be hit over the head with an iron frying pan.
) However, "hinting" is not a good way to communicate.
The first few times you "ask" for something, you may feel funny, but you'll get used to it, and he will most likely appreciate your honesty.
If you have a good, decent lover he or she will want you to communicate. The first time you say something, it is the most difficult. It will get easier.
I find sometimes bringing something up when we are not having sex at the moment the best way to do it, other times, especially if we are in the middle of something, I find saying something IN the moment the best. You have to feel it out. Every situation is different.