How can I get my g/f to orgasm

sfpd2010 sfpd2010
I try to hit her g-spot and all this by just simple fingering and oral sex and can't seem to get her to orgasm. She enjoys it alot and i swear she gets close but I just cant seem to seal the deal. Anybody got hints?
09/20/2010
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PassionQT PassionQT
Can she orgasm on her on? With a toy or manually? Sometimes it just takes practice and some alone time to figure it all out so she can tell you what works for her. She could simply have performance anxiety around you, wanting to please you, but she just can't. I can't orgasm easily around my partner, it takes me a lot of concentration and extra toys to do it.
09/20/2010
Jobthingy Jobthingy
Communication is HUGE in this situation. She needs to tell you if something feels good or bad. Ask her to express more. Sometimes women just moan and groan to make the partner feel better about how they are performing and are just too shy to say anything.
09/20/2010
Alicia Alicia
Well, there's definitely no one answer to this. It depends on the woman what will work and what will not work. If she can orgasm on her own then that's half the battle. If you discuss what works for her on her own then you can incorporate those things when you're together.

Sometimes women think too much about orgasming and that can just make it harder to get there. If I am overthinking it for whatever reason then sometimes I need more dirty talk to get me there.
09/20/2010
sfpd2010 sfpd2010
so theres no specific way, just figure out what feels best and just go from there?
09/20/2010
Madeira Madeira
Quote:
Originally posted by sfpd2010
so theres no specific way, just figure out what feels best and just go from there?
Yeah, basically, it really varies depending on the woman.
09/20/2010
PassionQT PassionQT
Quote:
Originally posted by sfpd2010
so theres no specific way, just figure out what feels best and just go from there?
And every one of us is different! Patience is the key. Don't try too hard either, that could make things worse if she knows she's under pressure.
09/20/2010
Riccio Riccio
Quote:
Originally posted by PassionQT
And every one of us is different! Patience is the key. Don't try too hard either, that could make things worse if she knows she's under pressure.
I agree. You are not going to "make her have an orgasm;" you just need to give her love and pleasure. Take the pressure off both of you and enjoy making love.
09/20/2010
P'Gell P'Gell
It has been said that everyone is responsible for their own orgasms. This is true in a lot of ways. Of course, if a woman isn't connecting with her lover and not communicating to her lover what she needs, this is hard to do.

I found a long time ago, when I first started having sex, that I needed to know what I liked and what caused orgasm in order to have an orgasm with My Man. I had to experiment and masturbate so I could find out what I loved. Then he took it from there, and I still need to pleasure myself from time to time.

Is your woman able to orgasm on her own? Ask her to show you what she does or at least explain it. Does she guide you when you give her oral sex, so you know her secrets? This is, IMO, the only way that most lovers know what their partners need.

I know people talk it to death, but communication is the answer. Both need to experiment and talk and guide for a good sexual experience.
09/20/2010
Jenn (aka kissmykitty) Jenn (aka kissmykitty)
If she is getting close, then she may just need a little more intensity to get her over the edge. I assume you're applying ample stimulation to her clitoris? Try switching out your fingers or tongue for a vibrator, and then switch back right as she is about to come. Hopefully she'll explode all over you.
09/21/2010
ScottA ScottA
She absolutely has to be relaxed and trust you. If she's worrying about something it's probably not going to happen.

The other trick I've heard - dont' change the stimulation. Once you've found something that she likes and she's close KEEP GOING with the same rhythm if possible.
09/21/2010
Illusional Illusional
Quote:
Originally posted by Jobthingy
Communication is HUGE in this situation. She needs to tell you if something feels good or bad. Ask her to express more. Sometimes women just moan and groan to make the partner feel better about how they are performing and are just too shy to say ... More
I'm very shy. I hate telling him, don't do this... or move it like this. I feel like a bitch.
09/29/2010
Jobthingy Jobthingy
Quote:
Originally posted by Illusional
I'm very shy. I hate telling him, don't do this... or move it like this. I feel like a bitch.
It's not about being a bitch, it's about what feels good. You know how to get yourself off better than anyone, and that is what he needs to know.
09/30/2010
ScottA ScottA
Quote:
Originally posted by Jobthingy
It's not about being a bitch, it's about what feels good. You know how to get yourself off better than anyone, and that is what he needs to know.
The first time he "gives you an orgasm" (it's really a cooperative effort in most cases, but we'll go ahead and use the term) he'll probably forgive you any perceived "bitchyness". When she's in (and right after) the throes of a great orgasm that you "gave her" you (her partner) feel really special.
09/30/2010
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Illusional
I'm very shy. I hate telling him, don't do this... or move it like this. I feel like a bitch.
If you're nice about asking for what you want no "bitchiness" will be perceived. Good partners want to please their lovers, so letting him know what works, what may not be your favorite thing, and what you may want to try is always good.

As women, so many of us were raised to not voice our opinions or to "hint" at what we wanted. As a group, men tend to NOT pick up on hints very much. (At least My Man doesn't. He has to be hit over the head with an iron frying pan. ) However, "hinting" is not a good way to communicate.

The first few times you "ask" for something, you may feel funny, but you'll get used to it, and he will most likely appreciate your honesty.

If you have a good, decent lover he or she will want you to communicate. The first time you say something, it is the most difficult. It will get easier.

I find sometimes bringing something up when we are not having sex at the moment the best way to do it, other times, especially if we are in the middle of something, I find saying something IN the moment the best. You have to feel it out. Every situation is different.
09/30/2010
PassionQT PassionQT
Quote:
Originally posted by Illusional
I'm very shy. I hate telling him, don't do this... or move it like this. I feel like a bitch.
From my experiences, I can't tell you how many times I've heard "oh babe, my tongue is going to make u cum so hard", etc..(I have never cum from oral sex, but it warms me up good). Why do they keep "bragging" about their skills? Because either their last gf came that way (or she faked it) and these men seemed to think ALL women cum the same way.

Don't worry about stroking his ego or coming across as knowing what you want by telling him what works for you. The payoff is worth it, trust me!
09/30/2010
alayamae alayamae
I've only had one guy who's been able to make me orgasm... and he does it VERRY WELL! So, maybe you just can't do it?
10/03/2010
Total posts: 17
Unique posters: 11