Lacking Pleasure via Insertion

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Lacking Pleasure via Insertion

Rhazya Rhazya
Whenever I've stuck my fingers inside myself, or even dilators, or insertable vibrators, I've never gotten off on having something inside me. This was even before I was raped several years ago.

This makes me concerned that I'll never really enjoy the penetrative part of sex, any ideas as to how I could make it appeal to me more? I'd hate to be a buzzkill during penetrative sex.
05/04/2012
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Jaimes Jaimes
Experiment with different materials, and maybe look into rabbit styles. I've never had much response from internal stimulation either, until I figured out the right type of toy for my body. I prefer softer, more lifelike materials, and am only just now getting to like harder silicone.

Also, try to relax your mind. If you're too worried about whether or not you're going to get something from penetrative sex, then your own brain is going to work against you. I had that problem for a long time. I was so worried about making hubby feel good by having an orgasm that I was keeping myself from just enjoying the act of sex, and everything outside of the penetration. Once I let go of my worries, it improved immediately.

There isn't any rush to enjoying different types of pleasure. You have a whole lifetime to explore and learn new things about your body! Just enjoy what you enjoy for now, and experiment with things you want to enjoy more, and the rest will follow.

Good luck!
05/04/2012
P'Gell P'Gell
I'm so sorry that something terrible happened to you.

You may find that when you are finally ready to have penetrative sex with someone you love, the fear and lack of pleasure will disappear and pleasure will happen, at its own pace. Even the best dildo doesn't feel like the penis of the man you love, I guarantee it. Love can often make all the difference. When you find someone you do love, take it slowly and easy.

Here's to your healing and learning.
05/04/2012
ToyTimeTim ToyTimeTim
My wife did not find much pleasure at first either, our solution was to let her be on top and just move different ways until she found something that felt good to her. After a few tries she learned what her body wanted and now enjoys it very much.
05/04/2012
BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
I didn't enjoy penetrative sex for about 9 years.

If you want advice, spend time exploring, like really exploring. Use curved toys for your G-spot, make sure that you've got a toy with enough length and girth to hit your A-spot (which is close to your cervix). Try vibrators and dildos. Try different textures, firmness, and shapes. Try different types of vibrations.

For me, personally, I didn't find joy in penetration until I started using unyielding toys like glass and steel. Once I discovered my G-spot, even stimulating my A-spot became easier.

You can/should also work on your kegels, if you don't already. Besides being good for your genitourinary health, working your vaginal muscles can help you enjoy penetration.
05/04/2012
31 Flavors 31 Flavors
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
I'm so sorry that something terrible happened to you.

You may find that when you are finally ready to have penetrative sex with someone you love, the fear and lack of pleasure will disappear and pleasure will happen, at its own pace. ...
Very well said.
05/04/2012
Total posts: 6
Unique posters: 6