working towards 1st O

Contributor: SassyLove SassyLove
hi all,
i just received my two new vibes and i couldnt wait to try them out!
i got the link and link

anyway i tried the candy g first and it was great, no O tho, then i immediately started in on the sea horse, it was great but i dont think i can handle the clitoral stimulus! it was so intense and nearly got to the point of being painful...i've tried just rubbing my clit but it doesnt do much for me...

suggestions please!!
07/12/2010
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Contributor: kck kck
Quote:
Originally posted by SassyLove
hi all,
i just received my two new vibes and i couldnt wait to try them out!
i got the link and link

anyway i tried the candy g first and it was great, no O tho, then i immediately started in on the sea horse, it was great but i dont ... more
Relax, and don't expect (which is kinda like trying to force) yourself to have one. Take the pressure off of yourself and just enjoy.

Have you tried using any lubes?
07/12/2010
Contributor: Envy Envy
I find what works for me is using a dildo while using a vibe on the low or medium setting (high if no dildo and just the vibe) or rubbing with my hand. The extra stimulation of the gspot area inside seems to make it easier for me to have an orgasm plus it builds more, too. Perhaps trying that? I know every woman is different, but it's worth a shot.

I also suggest maybe trying some arousal lubes or perhaps tingling ones?

The seahorse rabbit vibe looks cute, too.
07/12/2010
Contributor: Alicia Alicia
Quote:
Originally posted by SassyLove
hi all,
i just received my two new vibes and i couldnt wait to try them out!
i got the link and link

anyway i tried the candy g first and it was great, no O tho, then i immediately started in on the sea horse, it was great but i dont ... more
What about a vibe that has both high and low vibrations and some patterns. Sometimes I can't just put a steady vibe on my clit and expect an orgasm. The pulsations and especially the escalations and rollercoaster patterns really get me warmed up and then I just move to the high for the grand finale.

I find it harder to orgasm from my g-spot on my own though, I find it takes a lot of rapid thrusting for me, or rocking.

My suggestions would be... link for clitoral and link for g-spot
07/12/2010
Contributor: kck kck
The Shunga Secret Garden arousal cream is supposed to be *amazing*.

I also like System Jo warming lube. It's great for spicing things up!

And I totally agree with Goth about the dildo+vibe combination. Try having your partner thrust with the dildo while you use the vibe on your clit. It's awesome

Good luck!
07/12/2010
Contributor: SassyLove SassyLove
i havent tried any lubes because usually i dont have a problem getting excited. i will look into that, thanks for all the feedback! keep it coming!!
07/12/2010
Contributor: SassyLove SassyLove
i think that i am more concerned about my reaction to the sea horse, it was good but quickly became too much, i couldnt handle it. a friend recommended i keep it there until it starts to hurt then it may happen...what d'ya think?
07/12/2010
Contributor: Alicia Alicia
Quote:
Originally posted by SassyLove
i think that i am more concerned about my reaction to the sea horse, it was good but quickly became too much, i couldnt handle it. a friend recommended i keep it there until it starts to hurt then it may happen...what d'ya think?
It depends on what you mean by "hurt" I think. Sometimes before I come I'll get a weird feeling but it doesn't really hurt. Maybe for someone who has never had an orgasm it might feel like a pain? I don't really know though.

I think maybe the reaction with the sea horse was that it made was too much too soon? Some vibes can just be really way too intense. And if you don't know what you're looking for as an orgasm yet I think maybe less is more. Allow yourself to build up gradually to an orgasm rather then going straight for an intense rapid build type orgasm. I really think something with an escalation or pulsation pattern might work for you, it gives you a break from the vibration and acts as a tease of sorts so that it doesn't give you too much all at once. When I first started using bullets I always preferred the pulsations, now those feel too weak for me..but in the beginning they were what always got me to orgasm.
07/12/2010
Contributor: SassyLove SassyLove
Quote:
Originally posted by Alicia
It depends on what you mean by "hurt" I think. Sometimes before I come I'll get a weird feeling but it doesn't really hurt. Maybe for someone who has never had an orgasm it might feel like a pain? I don't really know though. ... more
lots of great info, thanks alicia! i am too embarrassed to get this graphic with people i know....this board is great!
thanks again!
07/12/2010
Contributor: Alicia Alicia
Quote:
Originally posted by SassyLove
lots of great info, thanks alicia! i am too embarrassed to get this graphic with people i know....this board is great!
thanks again!
I know the feeling, I don't discuss this stuff nearly as in depth with people that I actually know. In fact I think they'd be shocked if they knew I even review sex toys lol
07/12/2010
Contributor: Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
I also thoroughly enjoy the dildo + clit toy combo....however, one of the most complicated things about orgasms is that a lot of times, the harder you're trying to have one, the less likely it is to happen. If it's all your focusing on, your mind just might not be able to 'let go' enough. Maybe try a warm bubble bath first, or even a glass of wine (assuming you're of legal age...you don't have a complete profile) Relaxing and just being in the moment can make it a lot easier.
07/12/2010
Contributor: Wayne Kerr Wayne Kerr
My wife has a similar combination of difficulty reaching "O" and "enough is too much".

Something I found that REALLY works well for her is to place a vibrator just below her clit, (ALMOST touching it) and then gently push the clit down (with your other hand) until it makes contact. Push it down for a second, let off for a second, repeat. Mashing the clit between a vibrator and the pelvic bone generally hurts her, even if done gently.

Don't be discouraged. It may take a while to figure it out, but once you do, it will get easier with practice. Don't be discouraged if what works one day won't work the next. Keep trying different things, then once you learn how to breathe, concentrate, clench, etc. to make it happen, go back and try everything again and see how different speeds, positions, etc, will affect your orgasms.

Have you tried watching a video or reading something when you masturbate? Does your mind wander when you should be concentrating on the task at hand?

Keep us posted.

Wayne
07/12/2010
Contributor: PassionQT PassionQT
Also, have you tried changing positions? Rather than lying on your back, try using the seahorse on your stomach and work it with whichever hand you use. Basically you are humping the toy and sometimes the pressure of your body weight is enough to trigger an orgasm. I call it the "reverse swimmer" and that is how I learned how to play. Legs together, not spread. Eventually I had to flip over and learn how to do it on my back, but again, I keep my legs together. That seems to help contract the muscles, even the sphincter muscle. I have very intense orgasms that way.

You can always try another rabbit. I had to go through a few before I found the right one but I think they are great. I also use the realistic dildo and bullet vibe combo method.
07/12/2010
Contributor: SassyLove SassyLove
ok another question,
why would one choose a dildo over a vibrator? this has always puzzled me
07/12/2010
Contributor: Kim! Kim!
Quote:
Originally posted by SassyLove
ok another question,
why would one choose a dildo over a vibrator? this has always puzzled me
That puzzled me for awhile but then I tried out this oddly-textured glass wand and I'm pretty sure that I am starting to get it now. I think it's about the texture and the thrusting. With a vibrator you are focusing far more on the vibration and the texture takes a backseat to that feeling. I'm sure that other people have different reasons.

I am also sure that someone out there really can't handle a lot of or any vibration.
07/12/2010
Contributor: kck kck
Quote:
Originally posted by Kim!
That puzzled me for awhile but then I tried out this oddly-textured glass wand and I'm pretty sure that I am starting to get it now. I think it's about the texture and the thrusting. With a vibrator you are focusing far more on the vibration ... more
I agree with Kim! Although some vibes offer texture, the focus is more centered on vibration (and texture is secondary), whereas dildos offer texture as a focus in relation to thrusting and grip.

Take, for instance, my favorite dildo maker VixSkin. Their toys are extremely safe and hygienic, while still giving you the amazingly realistic feel of skin. Their dildos are also textured with veins, etc., to give you the most life-like experience possible. They're more on the expensive side, but they're totally worth it.
07/12/2010
Contributor: SassyLove SassyLove
woot! finally! it was great but was way to breif! thanks for all the suggestions!
07/18/2010
Contributor: kck kck
Quote:
Originally posted by SassyLove
woot! finally! it was great but was way to breif! thanks for all the suggestions!
Yay, SassyLove! May there me many more to cum (hehe)
07/18/2010
Contributor: SassyLove SassyLove
so i've been "going to town" since finally figuring out how to do this! but a question, does a g spot orgasm and a clitoral orgasm feel the same? i've experimented and only have an orgasm with clitoral...thoughts?
09/04/2010
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by SassyLove
ok another question,
why would one choose a dildo over a vibrator? this has always puzzled me
Sometimes during oral sex, we often just use dils or turn the vibe off. Sometimes we have the vibes on. I really like penetration, and he can't very well penetrate me, with his penis AND go down at the same time. Thus, a dildo is a good solution. (And, it's less drama than an other man in the room. )

Also, I have a High Orgasmic Threshold, due to peri-menopause. (It means that in the last year or so, it has been difficult for me to have an orgasm. It takes a LOT more stimulation and time than it used to.) We use an external "massager" vibrator for most of my first orgasms of the session, (The Wahl or the Hitachi) but I also NEED penetration to come, (the first time, after that, anything will make it happen) so we either use his hand, or a dildo, or a vibrator with the vibrations turned off. We realized that having the phallic vibe ON, plus the Wahl on my clit was actually too much.

So, when I am trying to come, we turn the phallic vibe off, or use a dil for penetration, as when we are doing this, he's usually holding me, because PIV sex is just not going to work at this moment. (If you saw the position we are in while usually doing this, you'd see why.)

Sometimes, during other activities, even during anal sex, just plain vaginal penetration is wanted with no vibrations. So, either a dildo, or a phallic vibe turned off (basically all phallic vibes are dildos, when they are not powered) works well for this. A lot of women use dildos for double penetration during anal sex.

Also, women who have female partners often desire penetration, as well. Sometimes the will want vibrations, sometimes not. And partners who practice "Pegging" where the women wears a dildo on in a harness to anally or orally penetrate her male partner is something a lot of couples enjoy. Dildos are really versatile toys.
09/04/2010