Ejaculation bloopers

Naughty Student Naughty Student
I am sure every woman in a heterosexual relationship has tried atleast once to have their man cum on their face.

I would like to hear some of the shocking stories of sperm up noses, etc. Anything that may have happenned that you hated at the time but giggle about now.
10/14/2010
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Alegria Alegria
Quote:
Originally posted by Naughty Student
I am sure every woman in a heterosexual relationship has tried atleast once to have their man cum on their face.

I would like to hear some of the shocking stories of sperm up noses, etc. Anything that may have happenned that you hated at the ... More
I'm in a long-standing heterosexual, monogamous relationship and he has never once cum on my face. I asked him not to, specifically to avoid these "bloopers".

I know, I'm a kill joy Nothing fun about semen up your nose, though.
10/14/2010
Waterfall Waterfall
Lol, we tried to go from vaginal intercourse straight to him cumming in my mouth... COMPLETE FAIL, it does not feel good up your nose at all lol
10/14/2010
Naughty Student Naughty Student
Lol, I have had that up my nose also. It went up my nose and then down my throat, it was painful and just gross.

I got some in my eye once. My eye burnt for so long. I started imagining I could feel the little sperm dying in my eye.
10/14/2010
Pleasure Piratess Pleasure Piratess
lol!
Nothing that exciting and I have never wanted sperm on my face. Neck and chest okay, but it has ended up in my hair and underarms before. So much for cuddling afterwards.
10/14/2010
Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
I've never asked for it on my face, but I've had a couple of guys want to cum on my chest and it was shot into my ear instead once. Not painful, but not really fun or sexy either.
10/14/2010
Liz2 Liz2
I have had cum in my hair which I hate and is absolutely a no... no with me. I wasn't laughing then or later.
One guy I was with, I think was trying to emulate a porn star by just hitting my face in general with his cum. Again not funny!
In my mouth? Absolutely! Guess some guys just can't aim.
10/14/2010
Alicia Alicia
Nope never wanted it on my face, have always been with men respectful enough not to do so. (Since they knew I didn't want it I mean..not saying that men who do it are always disrepectful..just if they do it when the other does not want it)

I generally am not a fan of cum anywhere but inside me..whether that be vagina or mouth..just inside and contained. I like to cuddle afterwards and don't like the mess. If it needs to land somewhere on my body I much prefer my stomach. It's just easier to clean up that way and less chance of it getting in my hair. I don't like to shower right after sex, so cum all over me..not my thing.
10/14/2010
~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
Quote:
Originally posted by Naughty Student
I am sure every woman in a heterosexual relationship has tried atleast once to have their man cum on their face.

I would like to hear some of the shocking stories of sperm up noses, etc. Anything that may have happenned that you hated at the ... More
Neither of the bloopers have happened when trying to shoot on my face, because I don't allow that but...

One was when I was in H.S. my boyfriend thought he could hold it together after oral to put a condom on, but as I pulled away he ended up shooting me in the ear/hair. It was funny and became an inside joke.

Another was when my current boyfriend came really hard while behind me. He shot OVER my head lol.

And the other happened yesterday. My boyfriend was about to finish and I turned around to finish him orally, but didn't do it fast enough. I got wrapped in cum from back, to hip, to leg lol. I still made it to my mouth though.
10/14/2010
J's Alley J's Alley
Quote:
Originally posted by Liz2
I have had cum in my hair which I hate and is absolutely a no... no with me. I wasn't laughing then or later.
One guy I was with, I think was trying to emulate a porn star by just hitting my face in general with his cum. Again not ... More
I am with you on the hair. It actually happened the other day. To make matters worse I had just taken a shower. I was SO MAD.
10/14/2010
ScottA ScottA
The only blooper so far was in trying to warn her that orgasm was immanent. I was making indecipherable grunts and moans but couldn't get the words out.
10/14/2010
Krysia Krysia
haha, I remember once when he came over my head, all the way to the wall. And there was a sound like WHOOP - LOLOL oh brother. We actually laughed after that, out of breath and all.
10/14/2010
Penguin Penguin
Quote:
Originally posted by ~LaUr3n~
Neither of the bloopers have happened when trying to shoot on my face, because I don't allow that but...

One was when I was in H.S. my boyfriend thought he could hold it together after oral to put a condom on, but as I pulled away he ended ... More
Love you!

I shot the ceiling with an ex once. She had a slanted ceiling and lived in a finished attic
10/14/2010
Naughty Student Naughty Student
Over the head! Wow, thats a feat.

A while back my man came so hard it landed on the wall behind him (he was laying down in the bed) and another time he came in his own face, he was also laying down when this happenned.
10/14/2010
wrock wrock
One time my wife and I did a kind something about marry thing. She was finishing me off with her hand and mouth and I came rly hard and a good amount squirted out the side of her mouth but we couldnt find were it went.

I few days later I was like WTF is on my dresser. Sure enough I found were it went now there is perm white line the front of my dresser about 3 inches long. Kinda stands out too cause the dresser is dark stained wood.
11/10/2010
ScottA ScottA
Quote:
Originally posted by wrock
One time my wife and I did a kind something about marry thing. She was finishing me off with her hand and mouth and I came rly hard and a good amount squirted out the side of her mouth but we couldnt find were it went.

I few days later I was ... More
Clean it off and try some of a "scratch cover" product.
11/10/2010
joja joja
Never had anyone come on my face, and don't particularly like it in my mouth, either. But I have made the unfortunate mistake of letting some of it dry on me. The stuff is a bitch to clean off.
11/12/2010
nerdgirl nerdgirl
One time, my boyfriend came on my face (as I was laying down), and while I was waiting for him to get a tissue to "wipe me up" (since I couldn't see with his cum getting close to my eyes), some of it slid down the side of my face and in my ear.
12/06/2010
LavenderSkies LavenderSkies
I definitely got it in the eye once. That stings D:
12/15/2010
PlayfulPisces87 PlayfulPisces87
It was my best friend, and the first time for both of us. He was supposed to cum on my belly, but we were kids at the time and his aim was awful. Got it in my hair and myhell wheneverht eye. To this day, I give him whenever my eye itches. Lucky for me, we had planned to shower right afterwards anyway.
12/15/2010
Misfit Momma Misfit Momma
My Husband seems obsessed with wanting to cum on my face, I've let him do it a few times but I don't like it! It burns the eyes, and once it goes cold which is almost instantly it feels real nasty to me...dead lumpy sperm sits right up there with things that creep me out. Like feet.

He claims I have only let him do it once, his memory is awful, and just won't understand why it wouldn't be a turn on for me. (And he wants me to agree to do this with multiple guys, just like in a porn!) He also doesn't understand why I won't lick it up off of him if he cums on his own belly.

I think the biggest blooper for me was when I was giving a guy head one time, and didn't realize he was about to cum. It shot into my mouth so fast, and there was so much of it that it came out my nose!
12/15/2010
darkkitty darkkitty
Quote:
Originally posted by Naughty Student
I am sure every woman in a heterosexual relationship has tried atleast once to have their man cum on their face.

I would like to hear some of the shocking stories of sperm up noses, etc. Anything that may have happenned that you hated at the ... More
I have been shot on the eye and it stings!!
12/15/2010
PussyGalore PussyGalore
Sorry darkkitty, I imagine that sucks.

He has cum in my eyes, my hair, my nose, and my ear - all accidental. It's never stung or caused an adverse reaction and we usually laugh it off and clean up quickly.

I'm the type of person to just lay there with ejaculate on me and not be in a rush to clean it off...so take my answer for what you will.
12/15/2010
RemusHalifax RemusHalifax
I really want to try this, but I'm afraid I'll get all messy and have to clean it all off. Then, I have to wonder if maybe I missed something. That's something you don't want to explain...
The thought of it does kind of turn me on though. I'll probably ask my boyfriend to cum on my stomach and, if I like it, work my way up from there. :3
12/15/2010
Oxygen99 Oxygen99
My husband cums on my face pretty much every other time we have sex, so I have plenty of stories about cum in the nose, ears, hair, etc.

But the first time I ever received a facial was quite by accident. It was my senior prom night and just before the limo came to pick my boyfriend and I up, I decided to give him a blow job. I didn't know exactly when the limo would arrive so I kind of put the blow job into overdrive. Well, when he was about to cum, because I was going so fast, his cock popped out of my mouth and he came directly in my left eye. Stung like a bitch and my eye was bright pink all night. It's kind of embarrassing because you can see the pink in my prom photo (which my parents still display to this day).
12/15/2010
RubenesqueAna RubenesqueAna
Ughhhh. I met up with my boyfriend at the time to go out to dinner, but he wanted a quick blowjob before we did, so I obliged. He wanted to sit on my chest and finish on my face... it went almost entirely up my nose, except a bit that seemed to sneak off into my hair. Right before dinner! Sad times.
12/15/2010
BadassFatass BadassFatass
I've gotten it right in the eye...and in my hair. I went to get coffee without realizing it was in my hair too. That was an awesome experience.
01/09/2011
napalmbutterfly napalmbutterfly
To be quite honest, the thought of it has never really turned me on... for these very reasons. I've heard that it's not fun getting it in the eyes/nose/ears/hair. I've yet to be willing enough to take it in the mouth. The idea of salty things (in general, not just referring to a guy's ejaculate) just doesn't quite appeal to me. Any ideas to make it better? I've heard pineapple juice can work...
01/11/2011
rdytogo rdytogo
Ugh, the worst in in the eyes or nose.
01/11/2011
LavenderSkies LavenderSkies
Quote:
Originally posted by rdytogo
Ugh, the worst in in the eyes or nose.
Definitely!
01/12/2011
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