HELP!!!! I need to convince my boyfriend to give me Oral Sex

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HELP!!!! I need to convince my boyfriend to give me Oral Sex

IslandGoddess IslandGoddess
My boyfriend and i hav been together almost 3years (today is our 2year and 11month anniversary..So September 9th is gonna be exactly 3years!). Anyway, We dont do Oral sex ive done it to him atleast 4 times during the 3years we've been together. Its not that he doesnt like it, its just like i dont "Love" to do it and isnt such a big deal to him beacause he says my "pussy is GREAT" so he doesnt need oral sex. But he has never done it to me, He has NEVER done it to any girl. At first i didnt want to believe it, i figured maybe after a year he would loosen up and do it but its 3years and he doesnt kiss below my belly button! He has a very strong head on his shoulders and a very strong mind set when it comes to "going down" on a girl. He thinks he disrespectful to him and i dont want him to think im trying to disrespect him in anyway so i hardly talk about it because i know he will get mad. I honestly believe he has never done it b4 and i dont know if he ever will. But im hoping if he does decide to one day that ill be the first. I kno theres NOTHING wrong with me because ive had it done to me by past boyfriends 3 other boys to be exact. My boyfriend said im the "cleanest" girl he's ever been with, i take care of my self very well, i dont smell or anything lol. So i know thats not the reason. I just think he's strong on his opinion and will stick to what he belives in. I just wanted to kno if theres anything i could say or do to try to convince him to mayb kiss it and from there he cud lick it and maybe, just MAYBE he might go further...Any suggestions?
08/09/2011
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Ryuson Ryuson
I feel that is he has strong feelings about this, he isn't going to change about what you say! Why do you want him to go down on you? For the pleasure? To be his 'first?' I'd go with telling him why you really want this to so badly!
08/09/2011
IslandGoddess IslandGoddess
Quote:
Originally posted by Ryuson
I feel that is he has strong feelings about this, he isn't going to change about what you say! Why do you want him to go down on you? For the pleasure? To be his 'first?' I'd go with telling him why you really want this to so badly!
For pleasure. i think it would make our sex life more interesting and make us closer, But thanks alot i will talk to him
08/09/2011
Ryuson Ryuson
Quote:
Originally posted by IslandGoddess
For pleasure. i think it would make our sex life more interesting and make us closer, But thanks alot i will talk to him
If you go into it 'Why don't you ever go down on me?' he's a lot more likley to get mad than is you go into it 'I really feel that oral sex is a good way to make us feel closer to eachother."
08/09/2011
Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by Ryuson
If you go into it 'Why don't you ever go down on me?' he's a lot more likley to get mad than is you go into it 'I really feel that oral sex is a good way to make us feel closer to eachother."
Agreed. My husband doesn't get oral sex all the time, but he definitely gets it a whole lot more than the ex who did the "why don't you ever do it, it's not fair that you don't" spiel.
08/09/2011
ParisLove ParisLove
i agree you should just sit with him and be honest, tell him how u feel and if he still stands strong i guess you should just leave it alone maybe a couple years down the line he might have a change of heart because yall will be together for longer.
08/09/2011
Redboxbaby Redboxbaby
Since he has never experienced it at all, maybe he is worried he wouldn't know what to do or worried he wouldn't do it right.

I know if I was in that position it would certainly be on my mind (granted, I am a woman and I realize men think differently than I would).
08/09/2011
LaLaLouise LaLaLouise
A lot of it may be self-consciousness. Redboxbaby was right that maybe he wouldn't be sure he could do it right. I can tell you that this issue could turn into a bigger issue later, because at the heart of it, it's about him not being open-minded to trying new things. Have there been any things that he's wanted you to try that you've been a little reluctant. Maybe if you turn it into a "deal" of sorts--I'll try this if you try that. Make a gesture to show him that it's not just you being selfish and wanting him to do whatever you want, but that you can take that step forward first, put your inhibitions on the back burner, and give something he wants a go. Maybe then he'll feel appreciative and see that it's ok to try. And tell him that if it's a matter of him not knowing what to do, there really isn't a lot you can wrong unless you end up inflicting pain. He can find all kinds of info online about it. And promise him that if he tries it at least a couple times and just plain hates it, you'll never bring it up again. It's about compromise.
08/10/2011
IslandGoddess IslandGoddess
Quote:
Originally posted by LaLaLouise
A lot of it may be self-consciousness. Redboxbaby was right that maybe he wouldn't be sure he could do it right. I can tell you that this issue could turn into a bigger issue later, because at the heart of it, it's about him not being ...
One of the best answers ive read so far. Thanks so much, i love the idea about making a deal "you do this and ill do that" i think that would work, im open to trying new things that he wants but he's not really that kind of person to open up and talk about stuff like that. And also i think it does have to do with him not knowing what to do, because one time we were talking about it and i was askin me "what if i dont do it right?" I tried to explain to him what to do but then he tried to change the topic. Deeop down inside a part of me thinks that one day just one day a few years down the line he might just try it because we will have been together for longer. Our 3year anniversary is coming up Next month September 9th and im planning something very special, Going to dinner and spending a romantic night at a hotel. I will ease my way into talking to him about it and hopefully on our anniversary he would try it, atleast kiss it or something simple that could maybe lead to more.
08/10/2011
LaLaLouise LaLaLouise
Quote:
Originally posted by IslandGoddess
One of the best answers ive read so far. Thanks so much, i love the idea about making a deal "you do this and ill do that" i think that would work, im open to trying new things that he wants but he's not really that kind of person to ...
Yeah that sounds like a good idea. Just keep in mind that the more pressure you put on him, the more he'll naturally want to pull away. So whether it happens on your anniversary or not, don't let yourself push him to do it that night. Anniversaries and other special occasions are already times that we feel extra pressure to perform. Definitely bring it up, but make sure you're doing it in an understanding, supportive way. Let him know that it's important to you that he be willing to at least try things, but don't let it go as far as being an ultimatum or anything like that. Work to make him feel comfortable.
08/10/2011
LaLaLouise LaLaLouise
On a side note, you mentioned that part of the reason you had spelling and grammar problems in your reviews is partly because of how accustomed you are to typing casually in text messages and online and stuff. If you practice by typing these forum messages a certain way, it will really help you get in the habit of keeping an eye out. Not to to make it sound like there's pressure or anything, but pretty much write everything as though it's an essay for school or something. Proper spelling, grammar, punctuation, capitalization, etc. Just a little suggestion. When I was a teenager and used AOL Instant Messenger all the time, I used all the little shortcuts and all that, and I was chatting with a friend for the first time and she said, "No offense, but it's really hard for me to read that, can you just type things out?" And I did, and it became habit.
08/10/2011
IslandGoddess IslandGoddess
Quote:
Originally posted by LaLaLouise
On a side note, you mentioned that part of the reason you had spelling and grammar problems in your reviews is partly because of how accustomed you are to typing casually in text messages and online and stuff. If you practice by typing these forum ...
Thank you. I am taking your advice and I do need to practice for writing college essays because they do require proper grammer, spelling and punctuation
08/10/2011
The-IT-Guy-And-My-Secretary The-IT-Guy-And-My-Secretary
Quote:
Originally posted by IslandGoddess
My boyfriend and i hav been together almost 3years (today is our 2year and 11month anniversary..So September 9th is gonna be exactly 3years!). Anyway, We dont do Oral sex ive done it to him atleast 4 times during the 3years we've been together. ...
Now this is a guys perspective... I personally love going down on my wife.

I think its something that is a 50% 50% thing. Some guys are all about it like myself and some guys cant get far enough from the idea. The only thing I can tell you with any certainty is don't force the issue. If he wants to do it he will, suggest it mildly but don't push the issue. Reason being once hes got it in his head he doesn't want to do it he probably will stick with that. If he thinks you are always thinking about that hes going to not want to do it at all. Personally I know with all of my friends it was "Eh I don't know" until, they had a good experience then it was whenever however. (Once again like myself)

Good luck!
08/20/2011
K101 K101
AW! I'm sorry You sound a lot like us, kind of. My partner doesn't care for me giving him oral and in fact says the same thing yours does! He'd rather have sex with me anytime! When I offer oral he's too excited for sex to bother with that. He however LOVES giving it. I've never had to ask him to, but before we do it he always does that for me. So I'm not sure about how to convince, but I don't get why so many people (especially women!) think it's gross? It's not as long as you're clean. It's no worse than a penis and a penis can smell just like a vagina can! It's not like a cooter hardly smells anyways, Mine hasn't ever had a scent. Anyways, I hope he does come around. What all have you said about it before? You said you don't push it because you know he'll get angry so I take it you've mentioned it before? If he truly gets angry over you just asking why he doesn't do it then I'd have a serious talk and set him straight! I get that some people just do not like other's privates in their mouths nothing to do with the person themselves, but I DON'T understand getting mad over it. Not to be nosey, but does he do other things like forplay or anything he knows you enjoy or is it pretty much all about his pleasure? If so, I hope that changes or you may want to re-consider things. If a man doesn't care enough to contribute to your needs at all too then hes going to be that way in every aspect of the relationship. I'm not saying that's how your's is, I'm only stating that if a man doesn't care at all to please you he won't care about your needs in other ways as well.

Maybe you could try a card game. Scribble down words on cards or torn sheets of small paper labeling one "Lick me" and another "kiss me here" and so on. Hide them around the house like one in the bathroom, one in the kitchen, etc. and take turns finding each other's notes and acting them out. That's so fun and that may excite him and give him just what he needs to get comfortable. Has he given you any reason?

In the past I had a boyfriend who demanded oral sex, even after my mouth had turned chapped and I looked like I'd held a cup and sucked it around my lips for days! It was humiliating and I kept hoping it would get better if I'd just do what he demanded and it didn't. He didn't care if my mouth was raw, I threw up or gagged. Thanks to that I've had a hard time even wanting to do it and my partner knows that and understands, but it's pathetic! I doubt a woman demanded oral sex from him and that's the cause of your dilemma after reading that he's never done it. It could very possibly be that he's afraid he won't do it right. I'm serious. Youd be surprised at how many men really don't know how or where to focus even if they've done it before. I never had a partner who knew how until my current one. Maybe that's it?
08/20/2011
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Unique posters: 8