How to Make it Happen

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How to Make it Happen

MeliPixie MeliPixie
So, when my boyfriend and I started seeing each other, I was 21 and a virgin, and extremely self-conscious about my body. He mentioned offhandedly enjoying oral sex, both receiving and giving it, but being insecure (and afraid, thanks to a really bad boyfriend in the past) I made a huge deal about it. I told him I might one day be able to give him a blowjob, but I could never let his face near my vagina. Well just over a year, countless times having sex and several blowjobs later, I'm thinking tentatively that I might enjoy for him to return the favor.

The problem rises in my inherent submissive nature, and the fact that I am just far too shy and embarrassed to outright ask him to, well, lick me that intimately. I'm still very self-conscious about my most private areas, especially because, as is common with Asian girls, I have a very slightly stronger scent and taste then most American girls, and it makes me feel like I'm dirty down there even when I know I'm not.

Could someone please give me suggestions to help me figure out how to raise my confidence in myself, or some way to bring this up with my boyfriend? I've gotten a few suggestions from magazines, which feels ridiculous, but it's not like I have a girl friend I can ask, I have you guys <3 Anything anyone can say to help will really be appreciated. Thanks! ~Pixie
Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):
PLEASE READ THE FIRST POST! Thanks <3
MeliPixie
1  (2%)
After performing oral sex on him, request in a sexy manner that he return the favor.
Gunsmoke
1  (2%)
Or offer him oral sex in return for giving it to you first.
When he kisses your neck or breasts, gently guide him lower.
ToyTimeTim , NuMe , Ajax , Mack7803 , C4ss , PiratePrincess , leatherlover , ZenaidaMacroura , CSEA , That Guy , VenusianThunder , Lily Night , mama2007 , LavenderSkies , phunkyphreak , Totogrl , girl next door , Elbert's Angel , AW00 , Happy Camper , angel142stx , potstickers , The-IT-Guy-And-My-Secretary , MaryExy , Ash1141 , sausagelover , padmeamidala
27  (54%)
Try to make the request during sex or foreplay when you feel more confident.
Tart , indiglo , SexyStuff , Valentinka , Xavier7 , lick123 , BadassFatass , Lio , DeliciousSurprise , Brandi Rouxxx , Fanny , ninaspinkturtle , Redman88 , Stagger13
14  (28%)
Just spew it out. The worst he can say is no.
KaraSutra , zracer , sbon , liilii080 , Eva Schwaltz , ily
6  (12%)
Too late for that, sorry.
Other (Please explain!)
Solar Ray
1  (2%)
Total votes: 50
Poll is closed
03/02/2011
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ToyTimeTim ToyTimeTim
I like the idea of guiding him down there, when you are ready. Take a nice shower, maybe together, then let the fun begin. I would not worry about any smell, he will not care much about that, he will be to excited to notice.

I think as long as you are open with him and communicate your fears/desires, all will be well.

Now go have some fun.
03/02/2011
MeliPixie MeliPixie
Thanks, Dwtim. I was kinda hoping you might post, being one of only two male friends I have on here. A male perspective is really what I need, I appreciate your help. ^_^
03/02/2011
Ajax Ajax
I like the guiding option too When I want the boyfriend to go down on me I usually just guide him there and he's always more than happy to oblige.

Since your boyfriends mentioned that he enjoys giving as well as receiving I can't imagine you'll have to worry about him saying no. Just take it slow and let him know what you want.

You said you were a virgin when you started dating him, how did you let him know when you were ready to have sex for the first time? Maybe letting him know in a similar way would work?
03/02/2011
MeliPixie MeliPixie
Quote:
Originally posted by Ajax
I like the guiding option too When I want the boyfriend to go down on me I usually just guide him there and he's always more than happy to oblige.

Since your boyfriends mentioned that he enjoys giving as well as receiving I can't ...
Actually I didn't so much let him know, as we were fooling around one night and he asked if I'd like to give intercourse a try. So after a little coaxing I let him slip on a condom and away we went. But when he saw how freaked out I got about him performing oral on me, he dropped it so I wouldn't be uncomfortable or afraid, and neither of us has brought it up again. So I'm not sure that method would work ^^;;
03/02/2011
KaraSutra KaraSutra
You've got a few things working in your favor; he's already told you he likes doing it and he cared enough to leave the topic alone because it made you uncomfortable.

If it was me I'd just ask him to, sure it's a little scary and overwhelming - both asking and letting him do it - but part of the whole process is getting past the fear and anxiety, by asking you're effectively knocking two birds with one stone.
03/02/2011
ToyTimeTim ToyTimeTim
Quote:
Originally posted by MeliPixie
Thanks, Dwtim. I was kinda hoping you might post, being one of only two male friends I have on here. A male perspective is really what I need, I appreciate your help. ^_^
Any time. Glad i could help.

My wife had never had oral done on her when we met, so I just took it slow. The first few times were just a few licks. As she became more comfortable I added more.

Sounds like you have a good caring man, so I am guessing he will do much of the same.
03/02/2011
MeliPixie MeliPixie
Quote:
Originally posted by KaraSutra
You've got a few things working in your favor; he's already told you he likes doing it and he cared enough to leave the topic alone because it made you uncomfortable.

If it was me I'd just ask him to, sure it's a little scary ...
Yes, he definitely is caring and understanding... I know he'll probably have no problem with me asking, it's just me who has the problem asking for things ^^;; Can you suggest anything to help with that? Cute clothes, booze, Prozac?! Haha.

As a side-note... Are you Really, The, Kara Sutra...??
03/02/2011
MeliPixie MeliPixie
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyTimeTim
Any time. Glad i could help.

My wife had never had oral done on her when we met, so I just took it slow. The first few times were just a few licks. As she became more comfortable I added more.

Sounds like you have a good caring man, ...
I hope he does. I definitely will need to be eased into it, if you know what I mean
03/02/2011
indiglo indiglo
Have a couple of drinks, and then whisper very softly in his ear: lick me. He'll get the idea. Especially since you already know he wants to, he's probably just ready and waiting for that green light!
03/02/2011
SexyStuff SexyStuff
I've been having this same problem and am shy to say anything.
03/03/2011
Eden C. Eden C.
Well, Meli, in all honesty, I have tasted white and Asian pussy, and I didn't really notice a difference in taste. If anything, I'd say that Asian women have a lighter taste, but that was probably an individual thing.

When I felt too shy to get the words out, I use the term "go down on ___." Somehow, it's easier.
03/03/2011
CSEA CSEA
Quote:
Originally posted by indiglo
Have a couple of drinks, and then whisper very softly in his ear: lick me. He'll get the idea. Especially since you already know he wants to, he's probably just ready and waiting for that green light!
this idea is hott! Sheessh Im going to say this to my man
03/03/2011
That Guy That Guy
Quote:
Originally posted by MeliPixie
Actually I didn't so much let him know, as we were fooling around one night and he asked if I'd like to give intercourse a try. So after a little coaxing I let him slip on a condom and away we went. But when he saw how freaked out I got about ...
As long as you know that he likes the idea of doing it, I don't think it should be a problem. I voted that you should just guide him there, but since you've turned him down about it before, you might just want to be straightforward about it and tell him what you want. I'm sure he'll be more than happy to oblige.
03/03/2011
Solar Ray Solar Ray
I love doing oral after we are both freshly showered... it just feels great when we both know we are fresh and clean so that's the first basic step in feeling confident... make sure you feel good about yourself because that's 99% of the battle of getting over self-esteem issues. You can even use one of the scented products available here on EF if you want to smell and taste extra nice.

Personally I love eating my partner out and I think most guys who like getting oral like to also see their lady writhing in pleasure as well when they reciprocate.

It sounds like he's happy to oblige so I'm sure he'd be only too happy to go down on you but remember he may be a bit hesitant and tentative with you as well because he knows you have issues with receiving oral sex... so he'll want to go slow and not push the boundaries as well.

No doubt it will feel a little uncomfortable at first as your inhibitions will need to subside so starting out with him giving you just kisses and gentle licks is a good start. You don't have to have him go for a full on oral session the first time or two... keep it short and simple.

If you know each other well then simply communicate and talk... some things are difficult to say but it really does help to express each others fears and apprehensions... that's a big part of an evolving and caring relationship.
03/03/2011
mama2007 mama2007
Quote:
Originally posted by Ajax
I like the guiding option too When I want the boyfriend to go down on me I usually just guide him there and he's always more than happy to oblige.

Since your boyfriends mentioned that he enjoys giving as well as receiving I can't ...
agreed
03/03/2011
MeliPixie MeliPixie
Thank you all so much... I feel a lot better and I've got some good ideas no. I especially like the idea of having a few drinks first

You guys are great. I appreciate all your encouragement and advice.
03/05/2011
Eden C. Eden C.
Quote:
Originally posted by MeliPixie
Thank you all so much... I feel a lot better and I've got some good ideas no. I especially like the idea of having a few drinks first

You guys are great. I appreciate all your encouragement and advice.
Just bear in mind that having a few drinks first may make it more difficult for you to reach orgasm, so don't have too many!
03/05/2011
LavenderSkies LavenderSkies
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyTimeTim
I like the idea of guiding him down there, when you are ready. Take a nice shower, maybe together, then let the fun begin. I would not worry about any smell, he will not care much about that, he will be to excited to notice.

I think as long ...
I agree
03/06/2011
liilii080 liilii080
I often write a note to my partner and ask him to read it with me if there is something going on that I'm having a hard time saying. I am much more articulate in writing and after he reads it, it gives me the impetus to talk about it with him.
03/06/2011
Eden C. Eden C.
I'm still curious to know who told you that Asian women have a stronger taste "down there"!
03/06/2011
MeliPixie MeliPixie
Quote:
Originally posted by Eden C.
I'm still curious to know who told you that Asian women have a stronger taste "down there"!
That's a good question. But given certain experiences I have had with some fellow girls (I won't necessarily go into details...), as well as my own chemistry "down there," I tend to believe... whoever it was, was at least partly correct.

Or else I'm just so lacking in confidence in myself it's something my own brain made up. ^^;;
03/06/2011
Lucidity Lucidity
Everyone here has given such fantastic advice! Everything I was going to say has been echoed But I'll give seconds to a few points, anyway. You have the fact that he's expressed interest working on your side. Be weary of how many drinks you have or else both of you could have issues. I would communicate, and tell him (in the moment) that you're ready for him to try going down on you.

Also, the only thing that can make one person taste stronger than another (aside from natural chemistry) is diet. If your diet is richer in fish, as it would be if you were living in Asia (or you had a diet particularly rich in fish), you might have a stronger taste. I'm guessing that's where that notion came from. But usually it's not fresh fish that do that, but like, canned tuna.

If you're worried about how you taste, eat more fresh fruits and veggies (especially citrus fruits and pineapple), drink lots of water- not so much that you'll have to pee in the middle , and shower with your partner, or keep baby (they make lavender scented ones) or feminine wipes on hand.
03/06/2011
Eden C. Eden C.
Quote:
Originally posted by MeliPixie
That's a good question. But given certain experiences I have had with some fellow girls (I won't necessarily go into details...), as well as my own chemistry "down there," I tend to believe... whoever it was, was at least partly ...
Weird. I mean, it's not like I've slept with a large enough sample of both populations to call my ideas scientifically verifiable, haha.
03/06/2011
ijako9 ijako9
I'd say if you're too afraid to talk about it just guide him down there
09/28/2011
Eva Schwaltz Eva Schwaltz
Just tell him you are ready, he can't read your mind.
09/28/2011
MeliPixie MeliPixie
So, I completely forgot I ever posted this! In my defense, it WAS a while ago.

Something I failed to mention was this: Boyfriend has had his nose broken upwards of five times. This causes him to be unable to breathe through it95% of the time, because it was never set. So after much thought and consideration, I finally asked him about a month ago. He said he would see what he can do! And he has since been known to, while clothed or naked, depending, snuggle up on my tummy and hum with his mouth or throat against my nether regions, and once even planted a kiss on my mons. I think he's trying to ease me into it, I'm sure he knows I'm nervous, plus he probably needs to test the angle to see if he will be able to breathe to do it that day.

So... In case anyone wanted an update. ^_^
09/29/2011
arewehavingfun? arewehavingfun?
I just read this thread and was glad it came to a satisfactory result for you!!!
09/29/2011
The-IT-Guy-And-My-Secretary The-IT-Guy-And-My-Secretary
Quote:
Originally posted by MeliPixie
So, when my boyfriend and I started seeing each other, I was 21 and a virgin, and extremely self-conscious about my body. He mentioned offhandedly enjoying oral sex, both receiving and giving it, but being insecure (and afraid, thanks to a really bad ...
Being a guy... Id actually really like to be guided down. Not only that some guys actually dig a girl that smells that way and tastes that way. I being one of them.
09/29/2011
The-IT-Guy-And-My-Secretary The-IT-Guy-And-My-Secretary
Quote:
Originally posted by The-IT-Guy-And-My-Secretary
Being a guy... Id actually really like to be guided down. Not only that some guys actually dig a girl that smells that way and tastes that way. I being one of them.
Oh yeah and by the way lucidity is completely right. +1 for eating right!
09/29/2011
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