Lets just say I had plenty of experience before meeting my wife - and I had also done a lot of research and reading about what women like.
From there it just takes attentiveness. You should be able to tell by your partner's progression of arousal if your doing well. If she's not getting wetter and more turned on - you're in trouble. Change strategy or move on - she may be craving something else.
My wife doesn't like 'instructing' me, so we stay tuned in to one another - although the occasional request is always honored.