The Worst

Rocky LaFemme Rocky LaFemme
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In honor of my horrible Ex that will not stop finding new ways to contact me I want to know what is the worst technique a person has used on you and how you dealt with it. The Ex in question was horrible at going down on me. He could not find my clit to save his life which was shocking considering I'm always shaved and he had an extreme case of excess saliva. I swear I think he was just down there drooling on me for an hour. HUGE turn off.
07/13/2009
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Valyn Valyn
Lol.. the worst for me was one really religious guy I dated for a little while. To start, it was a long distance relationship, so I barely saw him. Second, he felt so guilty about having sex and not being married, that he couldn't do it! The very few times he actually tried to, it would be mere pathetic minutes before he'd roll off of me and apologize. Once, the TV was on, and.. I really was trying to stay interested in him, but his performance was so sad, I was more interested in what was on TV! I felt bad for him and his poor, limp penis. Ugh, exs, lol.
07/13/2009
Ariane Ariane
I had an ex who decided that *gnawing* on my clit was an awesome idea, and he wasn't very good at listening when I told him otherwise, repeatedly. To add to that, the same ex didn't care about whether I orgasmed during foreplay or sex, because I took more than three minutes to do so, and he would get frustrated by that point (gee I wonder why it took a while, given the aforementioned technique...).
07/13/2009
Rocky LaFemme Rocky LaFemme
Quote:
Originally posted by Valyn
Lol.. the worst for me was one really religious guy I dated for a little while. To start, it was a long distance relationship, so I barely saw him. Second, he felt so guilty about having sex and not being married, that he couldn't do it! The very ... More
LOL I use to start to look at the TV as well. I felt so bad for him I should have felt bad for myself.
07/14/2009
Rocky LaFemme Rocky LaFemme
Quote:
Originally posted by Ariane
I had an ex who decided that *gnawing* on my clit was an awesome idea, and he wasn't very good at listening when I told him otherwise, repeatedly. To add to that, the same ex didn't care about whether I orgasmed during foreplay or sex, ... More
OMG and I thought drooling was the worst. You win! I hate it when they don't listen like how and why do they think they do not have to listen to what you are saying about you body and how it feels. It is like I'm trying to be nice here I really think you want me to hurt your feelings.
07/14/2009
Raven Raven
I remember one who would not listen to what I told him to do. Even though I repeatedly told him to circle my clit at least to start off with, he would invariably want to rub it hard. I never figured out why he wanted to do it that way. Sometimes it became painful, and many times he just desensitized it. It didn't take long before he was history.
07/15/2009
Rocky LaFemme Rocky LaFemme
Quote:
Originally posted by Raven
I remember one who would not listen to what I told him to do. Even though I repeatedly told him to circle my clit at least to start off with, he would invariably want to rub it hard. I never figured out why he wanted to do it that way. Sometimes it ... More
Good for you I kept the Drool King for much too long and the craziest thing to me was he thought he was the greatest lover and I FAKE NOTHING so if I'm looking at my manicure while your eatting me isn't that a clear sign that ur lovin is NOT DA BOMB?
07/15/2009
Ariane Ariane
Quote:
Originally posted by Rocky LaFemme
OMG and I thought drooling was the worst. You win! I hate it when they don't listen like how and why do they think they do not have to listen to what you are saying about you body and how it feels. It is like I'm trying to be nice here I ... More
He thought he was being "dominant", and that he was a great lover. Eh, not so much.
07/16/2009
Not Here Anymore f/k/a Happy Lady Not Here Anymore f/k/a Happy Lady
The flat cow tongue licking is the worst to me. I had a partner who would do that over and over, like licking ice cream or something. When I tried to explain why it wasn't so great, he said that "something is wrong with (me)" because women just LOVE they way he does that. It made me giggle because I was imagining all these poor women faking orgasms to get him to stop that. =)
07/16/2009
LilyLust LilyLust
biting! I don't know what compeled my ex to do it but he started biting my clit, and lips. OUCH! Ask a girl before you do something like that!
07/17/2009
Liz2 Liz2
When I was more patient, I put up with more before saying anything. Thought it must be me.
I have endured biting my clit and blowing me...literally!
Yes, they are history.
07/17/2009
Liz Liz
My worst was an ex who, with no foreplay whatsoever, would just start sucking on my clit as hard as he could.... and that was ALL he did. His idea of oral sex might have gotten a high-end vacuum cleaner turned on, but needless to say, it did nothing for me. OW.
07/17/2009
spicywife spicywife
Quote:
Originally posted by Liz
My worst was an ex who, with no foreplay whatsoever, would just start sucking on my clit as hard as he could.... and that was ALL he did. His idea of oral sex might have gotten a high-end vacuum cleaner turned on, but needless to say, it did nothing ... More
Wow. What's wrong with guys like that? Do they just not know/care how to do it right or have other women been submissive with them and not told them that they didn't like it?
07/17/2009
Rocky LaFemme Rocky LaFemme
Quote:
Originally posted by Not Here Anymore f/k/a Happy Lady
The flat cow tongue licking is the worst to me. I had a partner who would do that over and over, like licking ice cream or something. When I tried to explain why it wasn't so great, he said that "something is wrong with (me)" because ... More
I'm having a horrible flash back "flat cow tongue licking" he did that as well. WHY WHY WHY? I think once every five minutes is all of that I can take.
07/17/2009
Rocky LaFemme Rocky LaFemme
Quote:
Originally posted by spicywife
Wow. What's wrong with guys like that? Do they just not know/care how to do it right or have other women been submissive with them and not told them that they didn't like it?
I think it is a combination of not knowing and not caring. I think a lot of guys crap porn and not instructional videos and that is where they learn their technique and then they get with women fake their orgasms and so they have no idea what it really takes.
I really do not understand faking I have never been tempted to do that and I have never been with a man who faked his so why in the world would I fake mine.
07/17/2009
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Rocky LaFemme
In honor of my horrible Ex that will not stop finding new ways to contact me I want to know what is the worst technique a person has used on you and how you dealt with it. The Ex in question was horrible at going down on me. He could not find my clit ... More
The worst one for me was a guy who thought that a large curled tongue shoved as far inside me as possible was the way to get me "purring" (his words). No amount of patient explaining that I need clitoral stimulation (and this was both me and my husband explaining this)would stop his nasty technique. It just felt gross! I have a rule now, if you want to try oral on me you need to explain your technique and listen to what I prefer. No talking, no munching!
I'm spoiled though as my husband is the first lover I had and he is very skilled at pleasing a pussy, I think it helps if a guy really really likes the taste, feel and texture of a clean woman. Sometimes I think bad technique can indicate a man (or woman) who is going through the motions to "get to the good stuff". Find a man (or woman) who would happily expire face down in a woman's crotch and you have a partner who is good at cunnilingus. LOL
07/17/2009
Sir Sir
Quote:
Originally posted by Rocky LaFemme
In honor of my horrible Ex that will not stop finding new ways to contact me I want to know what is the worst technique a person has used on you and how you dealt with it. The Ex in question was horrible at going down on me. He could not find my clit ... More
My partner had a problem with an ex like this. I was shocked because, honestly, how can you not find a clitoris? It's there quite evidently. At first, she went around it saying, "He could find my part," and I thought that she meant her g-spot. But he couldn't find her clitoris! It made me laugh horribly, which is very rude of me, but it amused me because she told me how good I was (even though she's the first woman I've ever been with).

I've never had someone with a bad technique really, though I've had winners. My little girl is very good at giving me head. I've never had someone really bad, but I've had people worse than others. My little girl is the best that I've had though. She really knows how to put her mouth around it.
07/19/2009
Naughty Student Naughty Student
I used to date a guy that thought that licking my belly button was super exciting and it just freaked me out that it turned him on so much. He was history in no time.
07/20/2009
Backseat Boohoo Backseat Boohoo
Quote:
Originally posted by Raven
I remember one who would not listen to what I told him to do. Even though I repeatedly told him to circle my clit at least to start off with, he would invariably want to rub it hard. I never figured out why he wanted to do it that way. Sometimes it ... More
There is nothing worse than a partner who refuses to listen to explicit instructions.

For example, I need a LOT of pressure unless I'm using a crazy-strong vibrator. Like, fingers and palm practically squashing the pubic bone. But no matter how many times I say that, some ass always thinks I'm joking and just flicks it continuously like they do in porn while poking their finger in and out of my vagina. That's awful, too, that "pokey finger in the vagina" thing. It's not hot, it feels annoying.
07/20/2009
NuMe NuMe
Quote:
Originally posted by Naughty Student
I used to date a guy that thought that licking my belly button was super exciting and it just freaked me out that it turned him on so much. He was history in no time.
If there's one place I hate to be touched it's my belly button!!!
07/20/2009
deceased deceased
I've had some one lick me like they were licking postage stamps all day for the government (slow and robotic)and drool a puddle at the same time. I wanted to pick up a book by the nightstand and read.
07/20/2009
Raven Raven
Quote:
Originally posted by Rocky LaFemme
I think it is a combination of not knowing and not caring. I think a lot of guys crap porn and not instructional videos and that is where they learn their technique and then they get with women fake their orgasms and so they have no idea what it ... More
Agreed. If I have to fake it, maybe it's time to move on.

Talking of men faking it, remember the episode of Seinfeld when Kramer said he had faked it a few times, because as he said, sometimes it's enough already and he just wanted to get some sleep! Very funny!!
07/20/2009
Raven Raven
Quote:
Originally posted by Backseat Boohoo
There is nothing worse than a partner who refuses to listen to explicit instructions.

For example, I need a LOT of pressure unless I'm using a crazy-strong vibrator. Like, fingers and palm practically squashing the pubic bone. But no ... More
Agreed. I'm not sure whether porn flicks have actually helped or hindered some guys' techniques. One little finger in my vagina is also more annoying than anything, and I absolutely do not like big balls of spit used as lube, and it should not be used as such!! That's why God made synthetic lube!!
07/20/2009
Rocky LaFemme Rocky LaFemme
Quote:
Originally posted by Sir
My partner had a problem with an ex like this. I was shocked because, honestly, how can you not find a clitoris? It's there quite evidently. At first, she went around it saying, "He could find my part," and I thought that she meant ... More
"How can you not find a clitoris?" My question exactly.
07/21/2009
Rocky LaFemme Rocky LaFemme
Quote:
Originally posted by deceased
I've had some one lick me like they were licking postage stamps all day for the government (slow and robotic)and drool a puddle at the same time. I wanted to pick up a book by the nightstand and read.
LOL maybe it was the same guy! I would hate to think there was more than one person out there doing that.
07/21/2009
Raven Raven
Quote:
Originally posted by Rocky LaFemme
LOL maybe it was the same guy! I would hate to think there was more than one person out there doing that.
Sorry, there definitely is more than one of those guys. The fact that most of us can relate to that is very telling!
07/21/2009
pkmason pkmason
Spit as lube is the nastiest thing! I can only blame porn for that, really it makes me cringe thinking about it, ick i need a shower now!
09/11/2009
Sir Sir
Quote:
Originally posted by Rocky LaFemme
"How can you not find a clitoris?" My question exactly.
Definitely. Very confusing to me. Even though I'm a man, I still don't understand how someone wouldn't be able to find that on a woman, it's like saying that you couldn't find a person's penis. Even if it's smaller, you can still tell that it's there, and should know, by general anatomy, where it's located.
09/11/2009
J's Alley J's Alley
Quote:
Originally posted by pkmason
Spit as lube is the nastiest thing! I can only blame porn for that, really it makes me cringe thinking about it, ick i need a shower now!
OMG I am so WITH you there. Ugh, I will deal with it if I absolutely don't want to stop to go get lube, but oh for the love of pete, please please don't do it all the time. I had and ex who did and I would get up after and shower every time. I felt gross every time we had sex.
09/12/2009
Rocky LaFemme Rocky LaFemme
Quote:
Originally posted by Sir
Definitely. Very confusing to me. Even though I'm a man, I still don't understand how someone wouldn't be able to find that on a woman, it's like saying that you couldn't find a person's penis. Even if it's smaller, you ... More
LOL alas many men have no idea and take direction badly. But you have given me a great idea if that ever happens again I will so pretend I can't find the penis!
09/17/2009
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