Obsessed With Sex

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Obsessed With Sex

bayosgirl bayosgirl
Several people, including my parents and my own husband, have accused me of being "obsessed with sex." I find this interesting, since a.) I've only had two partners in my nearly-25 years, and b.) I didn't even lose my virginity until I was almost nineteen. (No offense to anyone who's had a lot of partners or became active early, by the way. Those were/are my own decisions and I stick by them, but I know that other people have different ideas about what's right for them and that's ok.) Anyway, my question is, has anyone accused YOU of being obsessed with sex? Do you agree with them? How did you handle their accusation?
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
Yes, I've been accused of being obsessed and I couldn't care less
40  (62%)
Yes, I've been accused and it hurt my feelings
2  (3%)
No, I haven't been accused...but I wouldn't mind
19  (29%)
No, I haven't been accused but it would hurt me
1  (2%)
What the hell is going on?
3  (5%)
Total votes: 65
Poll is closed
08/14/2012
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bayosgirl bayosgirl
Also, I have a HEALTHY sex drive. It isn't normal, or healthy, in my opinion, for a person to NOT be interested in sex. The fact that I have a sex drive means that my hormones are working properly. To me, "obsession" means something taken over the edge; the object of obsession interferes with someone's work or personal life. I am in no way "obsessed" with sex or addicted. I can get off, and feel satisfied. For my husband, the fact that I'd like to have sex every day means I'm "obsessed" with it.
08/14/2012
interestingstuff interestingstuff
I don't have this problem, but I can imagine how frustrating it would be to have a higher sex drive than your partner. He's a lucky man. Us Americans can be pretty prudish. We could use some of that European influence in this area.
08/14/2012
Zombirella Zombirella
Yes, but the reason behind it was my pervert sense of humor. Apparently it's okay for me to dirty minded but if a woman is, she is a sex addict?!
08/14/2012
solitudinarian solitudinarian
I get accused of this frequently, but it doesn't really bother me.
08/14/2012
Geogeo Geogeo
I've been accused of that more or less but not in a bad way, just a surprised way
08/14/2012
Taylor Taylor
No one has ever accused me of this, but I don't really discuss my sex life with anyone other than my partner (other than on here).
08/14/2012
mama2007 mama2007
Quote:
Originally posted by bayosgirl
Several people, including my parents and my own husband, have accused me of being "obsessed with sex." I find this interesting, since a.) I've only had two partners in my nearly-25 years, and b.) I didn't even lose my virginity ...
my husband and best friend think i am, but lately i havent wanted sex because of how my hubby talks/act to me so its his loss the last week. my friend said i am b/c on a good week we have sex 3 -5x. to me thats not a lot. id love daily sex but im 26 he is 37 and works 65 hrs a week. hes always tired

I do not discuss our sex life with anyone but him and my bff - on occassion
08/14/2012
PropertyOfPotter PropertyOfPotter
Yes I have, even though, like you, I've only had two partners. I enjoy sex, and I participate in it often. I enjoy masturbation, and also participate in that often. I think that's the reason more than how many partners I've had. I'm usually trying to get my husband in the mood, where I on the other hand, am always in the mood! It doesn't offend me at all!
08/14/2012
Khanner Khanner
Sex every day is living the dream, not obsession levels. Why do your parents care? It's none of their business.

I've been told I'm horny all the time in a joking way, no real accusations, though.
08/14/2012
Yaoi Pervette (deleted) Yaoi Pervette (deleted)
My first boyfriend, with whom I lost my virginity, said that. I think he was just sexually lazy. He would rather just get in and out with little regard for my pleasure.

My husband thinks I have a higher sex drive than he has. Oh well...
08/14/2012
Terri69 Terri69
I wouldn't give any of their opinions a second thought...who cares what they think
08/14/2012
bayosgirl bayosgirl
Quote:
Originally posted by Khanner
Sex every day is living the dream, not obsession levels. Why do your parents care? It's none of their business.

I've been told I'm horny all the time in a joking way, no real accusations, though.
My parents said that because I often joke about sexual things including hinting about my sex life. Never real explicit, but I guess I bring it on myself when it comes to them. If they were cool they'd just smile and add their own quip, or even tell me to stop, anything but accusing me of being obsessed simply because I have an active sex life. And they made a huge deal and tried to lay a guilt trip on me when I lost my virginity. Yes it was the wrong person, but they didn't have to act like I killed someone.
08/14/2012
bayosgirl bayosgirl
Quote:
Originally posted by Yaoi Pervette (deleted)
My first boyfriend, with whom I lost my virginity, said that. I think he was just sexually lazy. He would rather just get in and out with little regard for my pleasure.

My husband thinks I have a higher sex drive than he has. Oh well...
Hmm, your first boyfriend sounds a lot like my husband! :-/
08/14/2012
sweetiejo sweetiejo
I have been told that I am obsessed by my ex, but my current boyfriend helps me out a lot. He told me he's fine with my sex drive and if it makes me happy then it is okay. He's very warm and welcoming when it comes to it.
08/14/2012
bayosgirl bayosgirl
Quote:
Originally posted by mama2007
my husband and best friend think i am, but lately i havent wanted sex because of how my hubby talks/act to me so its his loss the last week. my friend said i am b/c on a good week we have sex 3 -5x. to me thats not a lot. id love daily sex but im 26 ...
I'm in the same boat...my husband is older (38-I'm 24) and works a good 70 hours a week. On one hand I can understand his being tired mentally and physically, but it's still frustrating to me. I work, too-it's not like I'm completely out of touch sitting at home demanding sex.
08/14/2012
unfulfilled unfulfilled
I've never been told I'm obsessed with sex. My hubby tells me I'm obsessed with EF, but that's ok by me.
08/14/2012
Claire-Bear Claire-Bear
That's hilarious. No, I wouldn't consider you to be obsessed with sex at all.
08/14/2012
MissCandyland MissCandyland
I have never had that said about me. I don't think I would care though.
08/14/2012
Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by bayosgirl
Several people, including my parents and my own husband, have accused me of being "obsessed with sex." I find this interesting, since a.) I've only had two partners in my nearly-25 years, and b.) I didn't even lose my virginity ...
My darling hubby says this all the time.....and I care a LOT. He says to PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE never change that aspect of my personality. It is something he "cherishes" more and more about me as time goes on. He calls it my :gift" and his "lotto winning in life".

As he reads this with me, he says he "cannot imaging a husband being UPSET by this about you....assuming the "sexual obsession is ONLY towards him".

If it is not true at all...well, then it sounds like you have some other serious marital problems going on. As for your parents???? How do they know ANYTHING about your sexual appetite or lack thereof????
08/14/2012
Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by MissCandyland
I have never had that said about me. I don't think I would care though.
Anytime I hear it, it is a SINCERE compliment.
08/14/2012
Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by Claire-Bear
That's hilarious. No, I wouldn't consider you to be obsessed with sex at all.
I couldn't say that one way or another. Don't know the woman, but I wonder what on earth those other people are referring to that even makes them say such a thing???
08/14/2012
Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by bayosgirl
My parents said that because I often joke about sexual things including hinting about my sex life. Never real explicit, but I guess I bring it on myself when it comes to them. If they were cool they'd just smile and add their own quip, or even ...
HINT. Parents and your sex life should NOT meet..not in quips, not in jokes, not in hints, not at all, not ever. YOU set yourself up for that one.
08/14/2012
Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by Yaoi Pervette (deleted)
My first boyfriend, with whom I lost my virginity, said that. I think he was just sexually lazy. He would rather just get in and out with little regard for my pleasure.

My husband thinks I have a higher sex drive than he has. Oh well...
WOW...a guy "sexually lazy"??? Never met that one. Glad I never dated such a guy and sure am happy I'm not married to one. I would no sooner give that major pleasure aspect up then marrying a "romantically" lazy guy or a "motivated to succeed lazy" guy. ALL those are critical aspects to me. I often wonder why woman "settle", rather then hold out till they FIND a guy with the features they want. They really are out there. I dated enough and married one.
08/14/2012
SneakersAndPearls SneakersAndPearls
I've also only had two partners, but only had penetrative sex with my hubs. We are...active. I do have a family member who told me that hubs and I have sex way too much. She then proceeded to tell me how infrequent (by comparison) she and her husband do the bunny hop. Maybe it works for her, but not for us. Therefore, I really don't care, since what we are doing clearly works for us.
08/14/2012
Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by mama2007
my husband and best friend think i am, but lately i havent wanted sex because of how my hubby talks/act to me so its his loss the last week. my friend said i am b/c on a good week we have sex 3 -5x. to me thats not a lot. id love daily sex but im 26 ...
Get a marriage counselor kiddo...quick. We are both over 50. We are both professionals and get up and to work BEFORE 5 am, OFTEN six days a week. We would consider a 65 hour week to be VACATION!!!! Yes, we are TIRED. We are also IN LOVE and we manage to have sex....and enjoy each others physical company (including dancing together or taking walks, and going out to dinner (meeting for late dinner, really) all the time. We actually have "sex" easily three to four days during the week and several times on weekend days we have off. Neither of us would have it any other way. If we are TOTALLY exhausted, what a better way to chill then a quick love making session and then a GREAT sleep. Even watching the news on TV or a late TV show, can be "play time" as I will simply unzip him and suck him gently while watching TV or he will put his hands in my pants, or up my skirt, and pleasure me, just while watching TV, for gosh sakes. You can be BUSY, TIRED and STILL have a great sex life. I think it may be your LOVE LIFE...not sex, that is a problem.

I wish you much improvement. Seek some professional help, since it sounds like the path you are on is NOT going to lead to mutual happy times.
08/14/2012
Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by SneakersAndPearls
I've also only had two partners, but only had penetrative sex with my hubs. We are...active. I do have a family member who told me that hubs and I have sex way too much. She then proceeded to tell me how infrequent (by comparison) she and her ...
GUYS....I don't get this. YOUR RELATIVES know how often you "do it"????? YIKES. I don't want to hear this from MY relatives and sure would not share it with them, either.
08/14/2012
indiglo indiglo
My man feels I have a very healthy sex drive (I agree) and I don't talk about our sex life outside of our relationship. I can have a very dirty sense of humor, but I keep it toned down in mixed company.

If you were obsessed with sex you'd never get anything else done - that's a strange comment to make. Coming from a partner, I'd find that attitude disturbing to say the least.

Maybe when your parents say it, they are just hinting at the fact that they would prefer to hear a lot less about your sex life. I know mine would feel that way if I talked about my sex life with them.
08/14/2012
SneakersAndPearls SneakersAndPearls
Quote:
Originally posted by Bignuf
GUYS....I don't get this. YOUR RELATIVES know how often you "do it"????? YIKES. I don't want to hear this from MY relatives and sure would not share it with them, either.
A close relative knows yes, because we talk about a lot of things. If you are insinuating that I broadcast it to my whole family, then no.
08/14/2012
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by bayosgirl
Also, I have a HEALTHY sex drive. It isn't normal, or healthy, in my opinion, for a person to NOT be interested in sex. The fact that I have a sex drive means that my hormones are working properly. To me, "obsession" means something ...
You are right. Obsession means an unhealthy drive to do something in an unhealthy way. Your sex drive certainly sounds healthy and normal.

I have NO freakin' idea why this man thinks you are "obsessed" with sex. Most men would be ecstatic to be with a woman who wants sex every day. Dare I say most men who don't want sex that often have an issue themselves?

I want sex every day, and my husband continually tells me how lucky he is, and how so many of the guys he works with and his buddies rarely or nearly never get laid.

IMO, healthy people have healthy sex drives and want sex frequently.

And MEN who respect their wives don't tell them their NORMAL sex drives are abnormal.

This guy.... I swear. You know how I feel about him.

As for your parents, honey, WHY? Why do they even know? Do me a favor, as a friend, do NOT talk about sex with your parents. It is NONE of their business. It's.... icky.... that they even know how often you want sex. [italic|Build and keep some boundaries with these people. Start by keeping their noses out of your bedroom and OUT of your head.

One of the ways you let your parents know you are an adult is to have boundaries. The other is for all of you to respect them. NO parent should know what is going on in their adult children's sex lives. My two older daughters are barely considered adults, are not married and I have no idea what goes on in their sex lives, and it supposed to be that way!

My parents have no idea what goes on in MY sex life, and it's supposed to be that way. I NEVER mention it. My kids never mention their sex lives (in the context of what they are doing and with whom) to me. It keeps them adults and keeps all of us respecting each other's boundaries. They would no more tell me about their bedroom exploits than I would tell them mine, and that is NEVER going to happen. There are people you CAN talk about your sex life with, but your parents and your kids are NOT those people. Ever.

There are things you need to keep to yourself, in order to be self reliant and be a full adult. What goes on in your sex life is one of those things.

If you want more respect from them and to be treated like an adult STOP sharing personal shit with them. Seriously. When I talk to my parents, I talk about the freakin' weather, or current events or my aunt's gall bladder surgery or something. The LAST place they belong is in my head or in my bedroom. And oddly (or normally, as it should be) I am treated as an adult.

My parents are NOT my confidants. No one's should be. Parents are the people who raised you. NOT FRIENDS. Parents and their children should never be friends. Take that from someone who has raised three children. (They are NOT my friends and I NEVER pry in their personal business.)

Put them on the back burner and keep your life to yourself. I guarantee that at first they will rebel and PRY harder, stand your ground. Eventually, they will realize you are not going to give in and quit bothering you.

To be treated like an adult you have to act like one. Stop telling your parents private things. NO good can come from them knowing these things. Start by keeping your private stuff private. It can ONLY make things better for you. I am completely honest about this. You have to put some (emotional, and preferably also physical) distance between these people and your private life if you EVER want to be treated like an adult.

You can do it. Good luck.
08/14/2012
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Total posts: 51
Unique posters: 38