37 Year Old Virgin.

gatewayer57@yahoo.com gatewayer57@yahoo.com
I'm a 37 year old female virgin. I never had a boyfriend, went on a date, or had my first kiss. I want to lose my virginity before I'm 40. I don't want to be known as the female 40 year old virgin. How do I go about doing this? Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.
09/04/2013
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Taylor Taylor
In my opinion the best way to get there is just to put yourself out there in some social situations. Maybe join some activities you are interested in where you could meet some new people. Don't be afraid to flirt with someone you are interested in getting to know, it may feel awkward at first, but practicing is how you get better and meet interesting people.

In my opinion the sex and kissing part is easier than the dating part. Are you looking for someone to be in a relationship with, or someone to just be more of a sexual partner?
09/05/2013
gatewayer57@yahoo.com gatewayer57@yahoo.com
Quote:
Originally posted by Taylor
In my opinion the best way to get there is just to put yourself out there in some social situations. Maybe join some activities you are interested in where you could meet some new people. Don't be afraid to flirt with someone you are interested ... More
I'm looking for someone to be in a relationship with. I've never had that and would like one. It's something that I've been thinking about a lot lately.
09/06/2013
Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by gatewayer57@yahoo.com
I'm a 37 year old female virgin. I never had a boyfriend, went on a date, or had my first kiss. I want to lose my virginity before I'm 40. I don't want to be known as the female 40 year old virgin. How do I go about doing this? Any help ... More
Are you being for real, or is this a "hypothetical" never been on a date, never been kissed? At 37? It would seem, seriously, if you have gone this far, "without", that has been more a choice you have made, then anything by pure chance. Looks, personality, physical deformities...nothing you can name, has stopped people from finding "someone", at "some point". Very few things would explain your situation, if real, except a deliberate avoidance of relationships. Have you spoken to a councilor about this? Even a minister or some clergy? That might be a perfect place to meet a "guy" too, a religious social event. Beyond that, you could go to a real (not online, in your "new to the game" state) dating service (something local only), where one of their staff might personally help set up a few dates for you with well screened guys. Finally, do you have any friends that could simply set you up for a CASUAL date with some single friends or family members, to "break the ice"? Best wishes if this is true.

If it is, by the way, true, you should NOT be worried about "getting laid" before you are 40. I would suggest you focus on having a solid friendship and maybe moving onto a solid date/relationship as a goal. It would be far healthier and less heartbreaking.
09/06/2013
gatewayer57@yahoo.com gatewayer57@yahoo.com
Quote:
Originally posted by Bignuf
Are you being for real, or is this a "hypothetical" never been on a date, never been kissed? At 37? It would seem, seriously, if you have gone this far, "without", that has been more a choice you have made, then anything by pure ... More
This is for real. It's never been my choice. I have always wanted to go out with someone and wanted someone in my life. Just never been asked. It's just never happened for me. Yes. I've spoken to a councilor. I was told I need to get out there to meet someone which I know. Friends also say the same thing. I just don't know where to look. Thanks for the help. I may try your suggestions. My friends say the same thing that relationships are more important than "getting laid". I hope this happens for me.
09/08/2013
Taylor Taylor
Yeah I would say to maybe try some new activities where you know it will me a new mix of people. You might not find your soul mate at the activity itself but you might make some new friends. And a lot of relationships start with friendships so that is a good place to start.

What sorts of things do you like to do that you could maybe find a group in your area for? There's a group for almost anything you can think of. Some places I've had good luck meeting guys were volunteering with habitat for humanity, and taking martial arts classes.

One thing I did in my early 20's to get over my shyness around guys was flirt with people I ran into in your day to day life, the barista, the clerk at the grocery store, the guy at the auto parts store, etc. Even if you are not interested in them (especially if you are not interested!). Because flirting and being playful is a skill like any other and if you are a shy person like me you need to practice at it to get better. That way when you've practiced on other people, when the time comes when you really want to get to know someone, everything will come much more naturally. It doesn't have to be anything dramatic, but making good eye contact with them, smiling, and paying them a compliment. It will make their day better too!
09/08/2013
ViVix ViVix
You could always go the way of finding more new female friends first (yes, they have websites for such things). Then, when you are out with the girls, men will invite themselves over. Also, your new female friends may enjoy playing cupid. Just a thought.
09/08/2013
Woman China Woman China
Quote:
Originally posted by gatewayer57@yahoo.com
This is for real. It's never been my choice. I have always wanted to go out with someone and wanted someone in my life. Just never been asked. It's just never happened for me. Yes. I've spoken to a councilor. I was told I need to get out ... More
This is going to sound mean, but it is seriously not meant that way. You said, "Just never been asked." It never occurred to you to do the asking? This is the 21st century and before that there was the whole women's lib choice thingie. There is nothing wrong with a woman asking a man out.

My biggest suggestion for you is to stop looking. Don't make it the reason you do things. Go out, learn new things, take a night class for cooking ethnic foods. Go out on your own to do some of these things and make it a point to meet some new people. And don't be afraid to ask a man out.
09/08/2013
Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by gatewayer57@yahoo.com
This is for real. It's never been my choice. I have always wanted to go out with someone and wanted someone in my life. Just never been asked. It's just never happened for me. Yes. I've spoken to a councilor. I was told I need to get out ... More
Okay, so you DO have "friends". A social circle. That is the best place to start. Ask one of them to either "set you up" with someone they know is a good person, who can meet you for a simple dinner date (or maybe a dinner and something like an "open museum" visit, since that allows for conversation, unlike a movie or show). Perhaps even (no kidding) ask one of your "friends" to go out with you on a "date". It just so happens I did that once. I went out on a date with my best "guy friend". We were nothing but friends, mind you, but I wanted to have a dinner once with him, without all our other friends around. No, it does not have to sour a friendship. Amazingly, that same guy is still my best friend, and my husband of 35 years does not mind a single bit....since it's HIM.
Take it gentle, in that you don't need to have a "goal". Just go out casual (lunch or dinner), one on one, with a guy and "have some fun". If it is a guy you already know, that makes it a lot safer and less stressful.
09/08/2013
Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by Woman China
This is going to sound mean, but it is seriously not meant that way. You said, "Just never been asked." It never occurred to you to do the asking? This is the 21st century and before that there was the whole women's lib choice thingie. ... More
The best advice I ever heard about relationships is "don't go looking for that perfect person to complete you", instead, become a complete person yourself and then find another whole, complete person to form a wonderful strong union with. I have to believe this woman, after all these years, is a complete, self sustaining individual, so now she should indeed do exactly as you suggest and stand on her own feet and find who SHE wishes to go out with and ask.
09/08/2013
gatewayer57@yahoo.com gatewayer57@yahoo.com
Thanks everyone for the advice. It does help. I am very shy. I don't know if I could ask a guy out myself. My friends keep trying to get me to go somewhere to meet guys. They don't want me to be alone the rest of my life. I don't want that either. I want to do that but I'm nervous. I have to have confidence in myself that it might be a wonderful thing to happen to me if I meet someone.
09/09/2013
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Unique posters: 5