A Humble Request for Help and Advice - Chance to Make a Big Difference

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A Humble Request for Help and Advice - Chance to Make a Big Difference

ribbedcurious ribbedcurious
Hi everyone, thank you for the warm welcome to the boards so far, I am really feeling welcome here! While I have only made several posts here, my period of reading around on the forum has led me to the conclusion that this is an online community that is generally composed of genuine, caring people who sincerely want to share their knowledge and experience to help others. Before I begin with my issue I would like to apologize for the length of this post – I feel my issue needs to be fully explained in order for me to get good advice. Second of all, the advice I get here has the potential to make a significant positive impact on my self-esteem, confidence, outlook, and level of anxiety (I suffer from General Anxiety Disorder) - you have the opportunity here to make a BIG, positive difference in my life. Finally, this is a penis size post, so stop here if that is not your cup of tea – I don’t want to waste anyone’s time and also if this is an inappropriate topic please delete it I’m not trying to make any trouble or annoy anyone.

So with that, I was wondering if there was anyone out there in cyberspace who has the relevant experience and willingness to help me defeat a major personal insecurity for good. You see, I recently managed to get myself my first serious girlfriend, and things have progressed to the point where we are getting pretty intimate (a big accomplishment for a very shy, introverted, socially awkward guy like myself haha). Anyways, the other night she showed me her dildo, which turned out to be the Ribbed model that is featured on this site.

Now, I have always been insecure about not being adequate in the genital size department, but it has been particularly bad lately for some reason. However, at first I was overjoyed to see that her toy was about the same size as my penis – the toy measures 7 inches long and 1 3/8 inches wide; my penis is ¼ inch shorter in length with the same diameter but near the top of my shaft I am actually slightly wider (by 1/8 inch) than the toy (sorry if that’s too graphic). Things got even better when I read some reviews that described the toy as having “great size” and “great width,” and it honestly felt like a weight had been instantly removed from my back – and a very heavy, painful weight at that. I could not believe that my penis could actually be described as being a “great size” by any woman – let alone the fact that my size was picked out by the same girl who I happen to really like. At this point, this was all I needed to count my blessings, let go of literally years of insecurities and just bury and forget about my size issues once and for all. This was truly an amazing feeling.

However, I read some more about the toy and realized that the texture on the Ribbed toy could “add” girth to it by creating more friction/sensation, a theory that has been confirmed, much to my disappointment. Now, I am very specific by nature and slightly OCD, and I have now became worried that my penis might not in fact measure up to my gf’s equivalently sized ribbed toy in terms of feelings of girth, and that my penis would not be able to provide the sensations of girth and fullness that were reported in the Ribbed’s positive reviews, meaning that my short-lived sense of security was based on false assumptions. I now find myself again immersed in insecurity and extreme anxiety.

So, this texture issue is now the primary obstacle standing in my way of being able to truly accept and be happy about my penis size, and finally lay this insecurity to rest. Is there anyone out there in cyberspace who can report if a penis that is the same size as the Ribbed (and slightly wider across at the top of the shaft) can accomplish the same feelings of vaginal fullness and stretch? I understand that individual preferences vary, but if I could just get confirmation that my size works well (and is maybe even ideal) for at least some women out there, I would finally be able to bury this painful personal issue for good. If there is anyone out there who can help me with this I offer my deepest thanks - in fact words would not be able to describe my gratefulness.

Best,
Tim

PS I understand that there is more to attraction, sex, and relationships than one’s endowment, but I would like to focus this post on the specific issue of penis size.
11/03/2010
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ToyGeek ToyGeek
The size you've described sounds pretty ideal to me.
11/03/2010
Darling Jen Darling Jen
Since you already know that the key to any healthy, loving relationship is in the communication, dedication, and genuine love for each other, you know that sex (while something highly enjoyable to everyone on this site) is only a small factor. It's more the icing on the cake and not the cake itself. Without a healthy relationship to sit on, it's just goop on a plate.

But going back to strictly your issue of insecurity with your size, I honestly wouldn't look to your genitals for reassurance. First, because you can't change when size you are. Nature and genetics decided for you what you carry in your pants and why worry over something you can't change?

Two, just because you may not be as long and girthy and you want, doesn't mean you can't still have fun in the bedroom and bring pleasure. In fact, since you're not massive, you can safely perform all sorts of positions with your girlfriend without the fear of hurting or straining her (or hitting the cervix - ow!).

I know you've heard it before but it's true: "It's not the size of the ship, it's the motion in the ocean." Just being big wouldn't be all a woman needs to get off anything. Having confidence is the number one most attractive thing in a sex partner. I'm speaking from experience. It's downright hot. So be confident, flirt with her, talk to her. And learn to use your tongue and/or fingers because most women (but not all) only require clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm and it has nothing to do with penetration.

So, in conclusion, I know your insecurities are hard to get over. After all, society puts a lot of pressure on you. But really, just connect with your girlfriend, talk to her, be honest with her, love her, ask her what pleases her. And let the passion of the relationship fuel your sex drive and it'll be fantastic no matter your size.

/end lecture
11/03/2010
Tuesday Tuesday
It sounds like you're average sized, which feels great. A real life man feels better than a dildo of the same size, partly due to the fact that you are attached to it (psychological factors) and partly because its the perfect temperature and a hardness (usually). I suspect that the way skin moves on a real penis adds to the sensation too. That can't be duplicated.
11/03/2010
Pleasure Piratess Pleasure Piratess
The size you've described is bigger than average and would feel great for most women, myself included. Please stop stressing. Confidence is WAY more desirable than penis size!
11/04/2010
DeliciousSurprise DeliciousSurprise
I've never had heterosexual sex, so I can't speak to that behalf, but I can say that sex with my partner is better than sex by myself--and I'm my own best lover I can also say that the size you've listed is right in my 'perfect' range.

It's hard to get over insecurities (I have GAD, PD and PTSD so I can empathize) but you really must remember that she is with you because she enjoys your company--sex is not the end all/be all of a relationship. Yes, sex is important and it's an important stage, but it really is the motion of the ocean that matters. A lover who's attentive and concerned with my satisfaction is always more desirable for me than one with a really big cock and a boat load of experience.

If you're still nervous, perhaps for your first few intimate encounters, you could to try using ribbed condoms until you get some feedback from your lovely lady about her satisfaction with your size.


Best of luck
11/04/2010
Midway through Midway through
It's how you use it, not what you have. That aside, I think you're over worrying for no reason. There's a reason dildos are fantastic, because they're for fun on the side. Your penis is not supposed to be a dildo, dear.

You should put the penis worry aside, it sounds like you're average, and like you just have a case of nerves and that's all.
11/04/2010
ribbedcurious ribbedcurious
First of all to all the responders THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! Your responses have helped me more than I can put into words. Truly. I am THIS close to being able to drop this size issue once and for all, and man am I looking forward to that. So, if you can tolerate helping me out just a little more, I just have one final issue. Here it is:

I measured the width more exactly today, and found that there is a section near the base of my penis that is slightly under the 1 3/8 inch width I described in my original post; it's under 1 3/8 inches wide but over 1 2/8 inches wide. It then gets slightly wider going up the shaft towards the head, reaching its maximum width of 1 1/2 inches near the top of the shaft. The length is the same. Even though my penis is slightly narrower than what I described in my original post, will this change anyone's opinion of my size (specifically girth)?

Also, anyone who is reading this thread for the first time and is kind enough to respond, please give your feelings on my updated size rather than the size I list in the original post.

Like I said before, the responses so far have helped a lot and I can not thank the responders enough.
11/04/2010
ribbedcurious ribbedcurious
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyGeek
The size you've described sounds pretty ideal to me.
ToyGeek thank you so much for taking the time to read and respond to this - that one sentence helped more than words can describe - I really, really appreciate it. However, I made a slight mistake in my original post - its a super small mistake and I think it probably wouldn't matter, but my OCD isn't letting me let it go. If you would be so kind to help me clear this up, I really do think I can get over this issue for good. So, if you can help me out, take a look at my follow up post and let me know what your feelings are.

Again, thank you.
11/04/2010
Alegria Alegria
Sounds like a pretty ideal size to me =) In fact; I think that's pretty close the size of my favorite toy. Just know that your girlfriend is intimate with you because she likes you, ALL of you. You're the guy she wants to be with. I don't think you should be stressing about your size at all.
11/04/2010
Alegria Alegria
Err sorry I stole your phrase Toy Geek! Promise I didn't mean to
11/04/2010
ribbedcurious ribbedcurious
Quote:
Originally posted by Alegria
Sounds like a pretty ideal size to me =) In fact; I think that's pretty close the size of my favorite toy. Just know that your girlfriend is intimate with you because she likes you, ALL of you. You're the guy she wants to be with. I don't ...
Alegria you rule...thanks so much for the response. Just so I can tell the OCD part of my brain that everything is cool, you did read my updated size measurements right? If you did and are responding to this updated size, then this is literally all I need to forget about this annoying size issue and focus on stuff that really matters.

If everyone had access to such an awesome, helpful, knowledgable, and genuine online community, those crap male enhancement companies would be out of business.
11/04/2010
Rockin' Rockin'
Your measurements sound perfectly fine to me. ^_^ I wouldn't worry about your size.

I totally second Sybarite1's statement:
"Confidence is WAY more desirable than penis size!"
11/04/2010
Alicia Alicia
Quote:
Originally posted by Rockin'
Your measurements sound perfectly fine to me. ^_^ I wouldn't worry about your size.

I totally second Sybarite1's statement:
"Confidence is WAY more desirable than penis size!"
I agree, it's more about confidence. I don't see anything wrong with your size, it seems about average to me and there's nothing wrong with that. I also wouldn't base how much your partner enjoys being with you on what toy she likes. I have toys that are bigger than my husband that I like, but it's because it's something different, not because that's the size I have to have! I enjoy my husband far more and love his size, it's perfect for me.
11/04/2010
SydVicious SydVicious
Quote:
Originally posted by ribbedcurious
ToyGeek thank you so much for taking the time to read and respond to this - that one sentence helped more than words can describe - I really, really appreciate it. However, I made a slight mistake in my original post - its a super small mistake and ...
Honestly, I understand you needed to correct your measurement, because in your mind it's different than what you originally posted... But I don't think any woman can tell that a penis is 1/8 of an inch off. I understand that exposing yourself to someone for the first time can be an emotional thing, at least for me it is. Everyone has fears of rejection and flaws they are not proud of, but if you like this girl, you have to give her a chance. You have nothing to be ashamed of, size wise.
11/04/2010
The Nakanas The Nakanas
From another guy with pretty similar size and pretty similar issues (a few years ago)take it from me. You're going to be more than enough to satisfy pretty much any woman, and if you're not big enough, she's not worth the trouble.
It's been a proven fact for me that confidence and care in love making will do way more to win the war than size.
Don't sweat it. Nothing on the human body is perfectly sized or really even all that uniform in measurement, but that's what makes us all individually interesting.
When Mrs. Nakana started using a vibrator that really rocked her world for the first time, I was a little self conscious and jealous, but then I realized that no toy can read her needs the way I could, and my batteries won't wear out and it was all good.
The bottom line is let go of the size, embrace that it's yours and go forth prepared to seize the day!
11/04/2010
socceras socceras
i think that size is just fine
11/11/2010
Total posts: 17
Unique posters: 13