Can a Sexy Attitude Really Compensate for a So-So Body? - from Em and Lo

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Can a Sexy Attitude Really Compensate for a So-So Body? - from Em and Lo

Em & Lo Em & Lo
Over at EMandLO.com, we have a rotating group of fairly evolved guy friends we call the Wise Guys who answer straight women's questions every week about the male perspective. This week they took on the following question: ”I know that often a sexy attitude is sexier than a great body, but I can’t help feeling self conscious all the same. I’m 20 years old and though the general silhouette of my body is good (enough to get whistles and even car honks directed at me, which I honestly find insulting), I don’t like my body. I hate the cellulite, the stretch marks, the spider veins, wobbly bits, and moles I see in it. Would these bother a man as much as they bother me? Can a sexy attitude make them overlook those defects? How bad is too bad? Am I being paranoid?“ So what do YOU think? And did our Wise Guys get it right?
09/08/2010
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DeliciousSurprise DeliciousSurprise
The attitude makes the man (or woman, in this instance.)

"What you feel is what you are, and what you are is beautiful." (Anyone? Anyone?)

If you've got the attitude to match the swagger, then you're golden. Not to be confused with arrogance, which is definitely not hot.
09/08/2010
Alicia Alicia
I think for the most part they're right. I especially agree with David that while men usually care about visuals more than women do but that it's the total package that matters more.

And I think most men would find someone who is hung up on all their little flaws to be more of a problem than the flaws themselves.
09/08/2010
Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by DeliciousSurprise
The attitude makes the man (or woman, in this instance.)

"What you feel is what you are, and what you are is beautiful." (Anyone? Anyone?)

If you've got the attitude to match the swagger, then you're golden. Not to ...
Took the words right out of my mouth, song included
09/08/2010
P'Gell P'Gell
Of course attitude and carriage make a difference on how attractive you are. I know, when I walk confidently, shoulders back, chest out, eyes forward etc. I certainly get more looks than if I am down and looking at the floor and moping. If you feel confident, it will translate into attractiveness.

Marilyn Monroe used to put a head kerchief, no make up, and walk with her shoulders hunched and her head down, in downtown New York at the height of her popularity and NO ONE recognized her. Why? She intentionally projected a "Don't look at me. I'm not worth it." vibe. She was a beautiful woman, with a body to die for, and still, when she felt or acted nondescript, she was. When either due to intention or depression, she didn't project "sexy" no one seemed to be able to pick her out of a crowd.

It goes the other way, too.
09/08/2010
Hannah Savage Hannah Savage
My short answer: YES!

The first girl that I really had a big crush on was not drop-dead-gorgeous, she was not thin, she wasn't anywhere near a model or what is portrayed as ideal, but man I couldn't take my eyes off of her. Her personality and nonchalant attitude about her perceived imperfections were something I admired when I was suffering from my own issues of self-worth.

To this day, two children later, she is someone that I am so emotionally and physically attracted to because of how she carries herself.
09/08/2010
Coralbell Coralbell
Sometimes I get attention from guys I consider a lot more attractive than myself. I don't know if it's my personality, or if they just don't judge my appearance as harshly as I do. I think it's interesting what David said about men seeing the total package. I feel like if I look at each individual body part none of them look that great, but somehow when it's all put together it looks pretty good.
09/08/2010
Pleasure Piratess Pleasure Piratess
Quote:
Originally posted by Alicia
I think for the most part they're right. I especially agree with David that while men usually care about visuals more than women do but that it's the total package that matters more.

And I think most men would find someone who is ...
Perfectly said.
09/08/2010
Victoria Victoria
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
Of course attitude and carriage make a difference on how attractive you are. I know, when I walk confidently, shoulders back, chest out, eyes forward etc. I certainly get more looks than if I am down and looking at the floor and moping. If you feel ...
I totally agree.

And what is "attractive" is entirely subjective. What my partner finds attractive is not likely the same as what the writer's partner looks for. And honestly, that fixation on looks? That shit becomes less important as we get older and place more value on the connection and "the fit" with each other. Not to mention chemisty.
09/08/2010
gone77 gone77
I think the guys nailed it. Focusing and obsessing on your flaws is not sexy. In fact, it's been my experience that it's less sexy than your actual flaws. A male friend of mine went out on a date with this woman and all she could was go on about her flaws and how ugly she was, and after a time my friend was convinced. All her talk about her horrible flaws revealed her true and biggest flaw: obsession with them.

I don't really attract people with my looks, but I've noticed that people really respond to my strong and confident personality and they sometimes end up attracted to me because of it.
09/08/2010
Liz Liz
Quote:
Originally posted by DeliciousSurprise
The attitude makes the man (or woman, in this instance.)

"What you feel is what you are, and what you are is beautiful." (Anyone? Anyone?)

If you've got the attitude to match the swagger, then you're golden. Not to ...
This. For both the sentiment and the Goo Goo Dolls reference.

This honestly has been my experience. Confidence and a sparkle in your eye go a long, long way.
09/08/2010
Jenn (aka kissmykitty) Jenn (aka kissmykitty)
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so the old saying goes. But cliche or not, it's true: attractiveness is most definitely subjective. I find my brother-in-law cute, but not the type of guy I'd go for; yet silly twits in this town throw themselves at him left and right. In contrast, my husband is more "average", with a slightly dorkish but totally wholesome appearance, yet I'm totally in love AND lust with him even after being together for ten years.

Then there's me... even at my heaviest weight, 331 lbs. (for reference, I'm 5'6''), I would get the occasional flattering remark or catcall. Now, at 200ish lbs., my confidence tends to speak volumes -- I get looks a lot more often!

I really do think that a big part of any attraction is the confidence. Even if you're faking some (or most, heh) of it, it's definitely much more sexy than if you were to fixate on your flaws, or try to skulk in the shadows or hide yourself away.
09/08/2010
PurpleReign PurpleReign
"Can a Sexy Attitude Really Compensate for a So-So Body?"

Absolutely. Always. And to a greater degree than most people recognize.
09/08/2010
PurpleBerry PurpleBerry
Definitely!!!
09/09/2010
pinkzombie pinkzombie
Quote:
Originally posted by Em & Lo
Over at EMandLO.com, we have a rotating group of fairly evolved guy friends we call the Wise Guys who answer straight women's questions every week about the male perspective. This week they took on the following question: ”I know that often a ...
The attitude helps. I find that the men Im attracted to are really cool and or funny before they are attractive. But I also think that can only go so far. There has to be some physical attraction.
11/21/2010
Total posts: 15
Unique posters: 15