Can't have an orgasm?!

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Can't have an orgasm?!

Persephone's Addiction Persephone's Addiction
I've been with my current partner 3 months, and we have great sexual chemistry. The problem is that now I can't have an orgasm with my toys.
This is bizarre.
This started happening early on in our relationship - I get really close to orgasm and then it's like everything shuts down. The orgasm fairy just flits away. I start thinking about him and the toy becomes useless. Now, it happens every time.
Has anyone had this happen? You start having really good sex and then masturbation just loses its appeal??
09/24/2010
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Quote:
Originally posted by Persephone's Addiction
I've been with my current partner 3 months, and we have great sexual chemistry. The problem is that now I can't have an orgasm with my toys.
This is bizarre.
This started happening early on in our relationship - I get really close to ...
I have just the opposite problem to where I think using too many toys before my relationship during masturbation, resulting in me never having an orgasm at all during vaginal or anal sexual intercourse.

Not sure how to fix it though
09/24/2010
Jenn (aka kissmykitty) Jenn (aka kissmykitty)
Have you tried just using your hands during masturbation? As for me, I've had the opposite issue -- too much toy use has left me somewhat incapable of having orgasms from oral sex or manual stimulation. I'm fixing that though, by going cold turkey, lol.
09/28/2010
Kindred Kindred
Something similar happens with my wife, although it has nothing to do with toys. She sometimes can get so close to having an orgasm but can't quite get there, and then it's almost like she starts to get numb to further stimulation. What we usually do is slow down and stop directly stimulating her. This lets her come down a little after few minutes, and then we go at it again. This usually works for her.
09/28/2010
P'Gell P'Gell
Are you able to have an orgasm while having sex with him? What techniques work (oral sex, manual stimulation, G Spot stimulation etc?) Maybe a stronger toy would be better. Not all vibrators are created equal.

What toy are you using and how are you using it? Doing what is closest to what brings you to orgasm with your boyfriend is probably the best for you. Or a stronger toy may be in order.

I have to tell you, when our children were young, I entered a phase where all the orgasms I needed were provided by the sex My Man and I had. I didn't masturbate for several years. I had little time, with babies and little children, and we had sex often enough that I didn't feel the need for it. With the exception of pregnancy, when I was horny and we were restricted by high risk pregnancies. (We had not started using toys at this time.) Only when I entered peri-menopause and my sex drive went back up to adolescent levels (My Man says, "It's like being married to a 18 year old boy. Only, you're a chick.") did I feel the need to get myself off on occasion, once again.
09/28/2010
leela leela
Yes, I actually do know what you're talking about. It's happened to me before with a new person. I know three months may seem like it's been long enough, but maybe you just need a little more time to adjust to being with him. I feel like sometimes when I'm excited about meeting and being with someone new, my thoughts are so full of complicated things about the person, it sort of overtakes my ability to relax just enough to orgasm. Yes, even when it's just me on my own. I'm kind of an over-thinker, and I really feel that it sometimes gets in the way of things, as silly as it is. It's certainly not like I'm thinking anything bad, or that I have any worries, it's just that new things can be so distracting sometimes, you know?

Anyway, I think it'll go away with time, don't stress it.
09/28/2010
Madeira Madeira
Quote:
Originally posted by Persephone's Addiction
I've been with my current partner 3 months, and we have great sexual chemistry. The problem is that now I can't have an orgasm with my toys.
This is bizarre.
This started happening early on in our relationship - I get really close to ...
I still love to masturbate, but I can no longer come without my partner's permission (if she doesn't say something along the lines of "you can come" I can't come) perhaps try asking him for permission to come when your on your own?
09/28/2010
Total posts: 7
Unique posters: 7