does your partner have any problems with you having toys?

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does your partner have any problems with you having toys?

mrs.mckrakn mrs.mckrakn
just last night i was telling my husband that i was ganna buy another toy and he didnt like the idea. told me he didnt want me to and i asked him why. he replied "cause its weird having a bunch of dildos laying around" i couldnt help but laugh. i only own 2 vibrators (love me!) and theyre always put away in my nightstand. and i mostly use them when he rejects me, which is more often than not. or when im by myself. he feels that i own too man and commented "how many do you need??"
10/21/2010
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Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by mrs.mckrakn
just last night i was telling my husband that i was ganna buy another toy and he didnt like the idea. told me he didnt want me to and i asked him why. he replied "cause its weird having a bunch of dildos laying around" i couldnt help but ...
I would be more worried that you feel he is 'rejecting' you than that he is resisting your adult decision to buy something for yourself. The issue is HIS to deal with so long as it's NOT an issue where you are leaving your toys laying around. If you are taking care of them and they are not meant to punish him for his rejection then continue to spend a reasonable amount on yourself as YOU see fit. You are not his child that you need him to control your behavior BUT if he is with holding affection or sex then you need to get some help.
Does he ask you how many shirts you need? Panties? Books? This is controlling and actually abusive behavior rooted in fear. He should never feel that a piece of plastic or silicone could replace his body but it sounds like there is problems here beyond a simple squick about sex toys.
Still, you are entitled to buy yourself something you enjoy so long as it's not taking food off the table or being used to punish your partner. If you are simply wanting some variety in your toys then calmly tell him this, tell him you LOVE his body but you realize that he can't always be there when you are wanting some sexual release. It's not fair for any one person to be there 100% of the time for someone else! There are times you want and need to be with yourself, this isn't about you making love to toys, its about you making time to love yourself.
10/21/2010
Riccio Riccio
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
I would be more worried that you feel he is 'rejecting' you than that he is resisting your adult decision to buy something for yourself. The issue is HIS to deal with so long as it's NOT an issue where you are leaving your toys laying ...
Amen!
10/21/2010
Jessica Elizabeth Jessica Elizabeth
I agree that the main worry is his fear that you are rejecting him. Perhaps sitting down and having a respectful, open and honest conversation about this is what is needed.

Sex toys are in no way a replacement for our partner. Sometimes we just need to have some self love time. Plus, they provide totally different stimulation than a partner does.

Talk to him about this, so that both your feelings can be honored and dealt with.
10/21/2010
mrs.mckrakn mrs.mckrakn
i cant say that i care about how he feels about my toys. i find that to be his problem. my toy are well kept and i only own 2. there isnt a day that goes by that i dont tell him how sexy, fine, handsome, great lover ect; he is. im there for his physical needs on a daily bases. i offer him either sex, handjob or blowjob literally (almost) everyday. if im on my period i give him hand job. i love sex and ill take it as much as he wants to give it to me. hes 30 and im 25. and it seems like im the one that always does the asking. almost everynight i ask him for sex and i get a no most of the time. when i do, i grab my toys and hes sleepin. and for this i dont understand what the prob is. i asked him and he didnt have anything valid to say.
10/22/2010
Total posts: 5
Unique posters: 4