Don't say THAT...

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Don't say THAT...

Supervixen Supervixen
Ever have a partner talk dirty to you and say something that was an instant turn-off? I like dirty talking, personally, but I hate it when people have cutesy or ridiculous names or sex acts or body parts. Examples: I had a boyfriend who called my clit "clitty" and I thought it sounded ridiculous. Same guy would say, instead of "I'm going to cum," "I'm going to nut." Again, hated it for some reason. I had another guy who wanted to be called "daddy," and while I know that is pretty common, and I didn't mind it at the time, the relationship disintegrated so thoroughly, if I'm ever with a guy who wants to be called that in the future, it would take some serious force of will to do it, on my part.

Any instant turn-off bedroom banter for you guys?
08/26/2012
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SMichelle SMichelle
I had a guy tell me that my ass was so "squishy and juicy" in the middle of dirty talk. It caught me off guard, and I didn't find it hot. To me, it sounded like it was his way of telling me that he thought I had a fat ass. It completely ruined the mood.

The same guy used to ask me if I wanted him to make me happy during sex -- and, of course, he would tell me that he "was going to make me happy"... I just ignored it most of the time. That's not really a bad thing to say, but it just sounded so weird the way he would say it. It was creepy!

My current guy made a "what daddy wants, daddy gets" comment during a play session. We have a Dom/sub relationship, so it wasn't weird that he would say that he gets what he wants. The word daddy made me burst out laughing, though. I looked at him and said, "daddy? Really?" -- and even he thought it was pretty funny once he thought about it. I'm glad that he's realized how ridiculous that sounds, because I'm not comfortable with him saying he's my daddy in the bedroom.
08/26/2012
Supervixen Supervixen
Quote:
Originally posted by SMichelle
I had a guy tell me that my ass was so "squishy and juicy" in the middle of dirty talk. It caught me off guard, and I didn't find it hot. To me, it sounded like it was his way of telling me that he thought I had a fat ass. It completely ...
Oh! The "squishy and juicy" ass comment you mentioned made me recall another one from the same guy who wanted to play with my "clitty" and then "nut." He used to use the adjective "sloppy" like it was a compliment. He'd tell me that he loved my sloppy pussy, and I just thought, really? Sloppy? Like a sloppy joe? Like a slob? We even went to see a play once with a very curvaceous female lead who wore revealing costumes on stage, and we were talking during the intermission about how hot she was, and he said, "Yeah, she's just so curvy and sloppy..." !!! I had to explain to him, very explicitly, that no woman ever wants to hear any part of her body described as "sloppy."

And there's more! This wasn't during sex, but the same douche bag (what the hell was I thinking!?)also said that it would be hot if I got pregnant, because my boobs would get big and plump. Now, I'm a small chested, petite woman. Hearing that instantly made me feel so unattractive, that I just had to walk away from him. Oh man...what an ass that guy was. Thank God it's over though, right?
08/26/2012
Zandrock Zandrock
Nope. Have yet to come across one
08/26/2012
travelnurse travelnurse
well you know, most guys just don't get it and sometimes it has to be taken with a grain of salt. I too had a lover tell me that my pussy was nice and fat. WTF does that mean. I'm not fat and I have body issues anyway!
08/26/2012
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by travelnurse
well you know, most guys just don't get it and sometimes it has to be taken with a grain of salt. I too had a lover tell me that my pussy was nice and fat. WTF does that mean. I'm not fat and I have body issues anyway!
Mine too...I was like WHAT THE HELL??? You have known me since I was 15 years old, when in ALL that time have I ever wanted any part of my body to be called fat? He went on to explain that he loved how soft, wet and warm my pussy was and when I was aroused it swelled so nicely that he loved how fat and juicy it got. I just rolled my eyes and told him there are better ways to describe things...

Course then again I did tell him I liked sucking his cock because it didn't make my jaws ache....so I had to forgive him.

I meant that I didn't have to hold my mouth open so wide because he actually likes feeling my teeth scraping him. So ya, we all say things we don't exactly mean at times.
08/26/2012
K101 K101
Quote:
Originally posted by Supervixen
Ever have a partner talk dirty to you and say something that was an instant turn-off? I like dirty talking, personally, but I hate it when people have cutesy or ridiculous names or sex acts or body parts. Examples: I had a boyfriend who called my ...
Thankfully, the "daddy" thing has never happened to me, but that is my biggest turn off when it comes to dirty talk. I have never liked that term during sex and I have been quick to tell any potential partner how I feel about it. Lol. Thankfully, my partner also feels creeped out by using the whole daddy thing in bed.

I know my partner has said things during sex that made me say "don't ever say that again." Lol but nothing that was a total deal breaker or turned me off so bad that I couldn't have sex. Just minor things that were funny-lame. Lol. We don't name our body parts, but he does call my clitoris "man in the boat" or something like that. Lol. I usually don't care much for the lame cutesy names like you mentioned. Not my thing, but some things are fine.

I will tell you one thing that will definitely stop me in my tracks during sex... or anything. When a guy makes damn baby noises when he goes near my breasts. SERIOUSLY!? WTF? It is creepy and just downright ew! Do not ever make baby noises near my privates. Actually, baby noises are not ever OK unless you happen to be. A. Baby! Lol. My partner knows I don't like that "goo-goo ga ga" crap, so he hasn't ever pulled it. Lol. I did have a guy when I was younger say "Ma-ma!" when he went near my boobs. Said it just like a baby would too. Yuck! So my shirt went back down real f'n quick.

Don't get me wrong, I do love dirty talk, but there are plenty of things that would really turn me off if said during sex.

Oh my! Supervixen, wow! That guy you described saying the stuff about "sloppy" and the pregnant comment, wow! Congrats to you for dumping that douche baggy. I would totally have felt the same way. What a jerk off!

I Can't think of any exact things in particular at the moment that turned me off big time really, but it's been 6 years with my current partner and he has yet to really cross the line. Lol.

I do unfortunately remember a guy when I was 15, he was hitting on me (a 25 year old man, not "guy") and the drunker he got, the more his regular voice changed. He was your typical country guy with the country accent like me and everyone else who lives here. Then suddenly he's like f'n australian or something! Lol. Not that an accent of that kind turns me off, by no means is that true, but that he so strangely changed his accent like that and would whisper in my ear was so dang creepy! Turned out he was a rapist. Hmmm. what A lovely night to remember. I would have to say though that he turned me off with changing himself like that, and just being a "force himself on me" kind of guy did not help his situation.

Oh, and someone commented that a lover had called their vagina fat. My partner actually does that to me. Daily! Lol. He says mine is fat all the time. It doesn't bother me though, he means it as a compliment and I say "thanks." LOL. It's not something that upsets me, turns me off but it doesn't necessarily make me super turned on. I just like to hear him describe my crotch. Lol. I guess mine really is pretty plump though, so I can't argue. I sometimes say his is fat too, but I suppose that's a little more of a compliment for him. Lol. I'm OK with it being chubby though.
08/26/2012
js250 js250
I hate puss--sloppy--rubbing one out--or horny.
08/26/2012
Supervixen Supervixen
Oh wow, kendra...the "mama!" in a baby voice thing is...super awkward. And while he's playing with your breasts?! I think that would turn my vagina dryer than the Sahara Desert if that were me...

I do get that bedroom banter is a hit and miss thing, and it takes balls to try new things out in the bedroom to see how your partner responds. If you say something odd or silly, usually it can be laughed off, as long as the two of you have a good sense of humor about it. But there are some people who say things with such absurd confidence, and who consistently say the wrong thing (hence the "sloppy pussy, I'd like your big pregnant boobs" guy I mentioned before). In my experience, it usually comes from a partner that doesn't know how to read you...at all. At least the guy who wanted to be called "daddy" told me, rather shyly, that it was a big turn on for him. He wasn't just like, "Who's your daddy!" all of a sudden. That would have been a bit...much.

When I was first getting into talking dirty with my current guy, he called me a whore, and I wasn't sure how I felt about it--he knew that I LOVED being called a slut, dirty girl, bad girl, etc, so "whore" was the next logical thing. I eventually decided I didn't like it and I told him so, so he never used it again...until it started showing up in my fantasies, and I told him one day, "I'm your very own, personal whore, you know that?" and he smiled and said, "Yes, you are, my dear." Now, I like it! But I'm on the raunchier end of the spectrum when it comes to talking dirty, so...

My first relationship was a long term one, and our sex lives were awful. We were incompatible, both each other's firsts, and inexperienced. We didn't talk much in the bedroom. I do remember once saying in my sexiest bedroom voice with a grin, while I was on top of him, "Do you like playing with me? Do you like your little toy?" He got really upset and told me that he didn't think of me as just a toy, that he thought of me as a person and had nothing but respect for me, so how could I say THAT...and I felt guilty about wanting to be referred to in that way in the bedroom...but of course, neither one of us were experienced enough, nor were we good at communicating, so it just sort of fizzled out. I wanted to tell him it was just fantasy, that I knew that he respected me, and I wouldn't be with him if he didn't...but that doesn't mean we can't role play a bit...and maybe I want to be treated like his "sex toy," once in a while...but communication between the two of us had too many issues for that discussion to ever take place.

Baby talk. That's a big no-no in my book...not into the whole "adult infant" thing, even in the mildest of terms. At all.

ALSO! Stupid, childish jokes about the body. "Sloppy pussy" guy also got way too comfortable around me too quickly, and he'd fart right after sex and make jokes about it (so much for the afterglow), and when he'd reveal his erection just before he was about to put it in me, one time, he made a fake trumpet sound, like, "doot-do-do-dooo!" like when you raise the flag on a pole in the military. I literally pushed him away from me and got up--that was the last straw. He got offended and told me that sex isn't like in the movies where it's all perfect and serious! It's supposed to be fun! I said, yeah, it is supposed to be fun, and you aren't fun at all! You're annoying, and act like a twelve year old in the bed. Here's a clue--fart jokes and erection jokes don't exactly put me in the mood, nor would they put any woman in the mood.

Yeah, we broke up after that. Only a four month relationship, so at least I didn't waste too much time on him.

*exhales slowly...* Wow, this thread has been unexpectedly cathartic for me! Look at all this venting about one guy!

It's okay guys, I'm better now.
08/26/2012
Wicked Wahine Wicked Wahine
This is such a good thread, I wanted to know what more people thought about it!

I don't have any experience with talking dirty. But, I was taken aback when a high school boyfriend once called breasts "titties". It just sounded so juvenile coming from him, I'm relieved it just came out the one time during conversation & not while fooling around. That's the only thing I can offer, but I'd love to know what other things people find a turn off!
04/07/2013
WhoopieDoo WhoopieDoo
Quote:
Originally posted by travelnurse
well you know, most guys just don't get it and sometimes it has to be taken with a grain of salt. I too had a lover tell me that my pussy was nice and fat. WTF does that mean. I'm not fat and I have body issues anyway!
I've had my pussy called 'fat,' but I like it, especially when it's phrased like, "You have such nice, fat pussy lips. I like it."

There was a guy who referred to my vag as my 'honey pot'.....that was a little weird, but it didn't really turn me off...
04/07/2013
Hummingbird Hummingbird
Mine doesn't hardly talk at all, never had that problem with him and in fact he prefers if if I don't talk either. A difficult task when you're trying to communicate what you do and don't like.
04/07/2013
gsfanatic gsfanatic
Not yet, but that's because my gf doesn't have that much of a variety in her dirty
04/07/2013
spiced spiced
As a guy, this is an eye-opening discussion. I'm sure I must have stuck my foot in it somewhere along the line, but I'm glad I've never said some of these things! Except for "horny", which I say a lot (sorry, js250!).

A lot of them ("fat pussy", etc) remind me of comments I've seen on porn pic pages frequented entirely (or almost entirely) by guys. These are the kinds of comments a lot of guys seem to make these days about women's bodies, especially if they've only talked about this stuff with other guys. At least know that such comments are intended as compliments, even if they come off awkward and clueless.

The only things that women have said to me that set my teeth on edge were 1) a one-night stand who wanted to call me daddy, and for me to call her "child" (and slap her ass a lot); and 2) a girlfriend who was overly fond of the term "pee-pee" to refer to the penis! Yeesh.
04/07/2013
KrissyNovacaine KrissyNovacaine
I am in a D/s dynamic and during a public scene he asked if I wanted "fuckins". We aren't into little play, so I looked him dead in the eye and said that I was an adult and would be treated like one.

Kinda hilarious coming from someone naked on a St. Andrew's Cross.
04/08/2013
SaucyxGirl SaucyxGirl
I prefer my dirty talk to be raunchy. Slut, whore, even the the word bitch (and worse) is fine. But when it comes to either baby talk, cute terms for the body parts or even just something that sounds plain immature its a turn off.

I have had guys grab boobs and make honking noises. And these were guys who were in their twenties. I have also had guys refer to my pussy as kitty cat or just plain kitty, plus have also heard a few more "cute" terms for body parts such as clitty, and even love button (clit).

Thankfully my current man is not into dirty talk, he is not comfortable with it and I could easily see him making many some of these mistakes due to his discomfort.
04/08/2013
jackie.jfky jackie.jfky
Being called 'mami' or 'mommy'... *shudders*
06/10/2013
Nezzie13 Nezzie13
Cutesy names for my genitalia bug me, but them I'm that girl that asks for my lover to "stroke my outer labia" and requests that they "mind my cervix" My current bf thinks it's a refreshing change of pace since he knows exactly what I want, but many guys/girls think it's that I use textbook terms.
Daddy is a no-no, and I am not your Mommy, Mama, or Mamacita. (A well placed "ma'am" however, gives me such a sexy jolt! Especially in a sarcastic tone...)
I don't like for my breasts to be called anything but. I have very small ones, so I've heard far too many morons mention the "Itty Bitty Titty Committee" "Tits", "titties", and usually "boobs" are just out.
I can deal with saying/hearing "pussy" while we're being intimate, especially in more rough-and-tumble sessions, but if I ever hear the word "cunt" we are done. I know some people think it's so sexy, but I hate it!
This may be a bit petty, but I can't respect a guy that discusses his equipment in a juvenile or overly eager way. "Dong", "schlong", "pipe", "missle"-you get the picture.
06/10/2013
Total posts: 18
Unique posters: 16