If you are a sub could you dominate your SO and/or if you are a dominate could you step back and be a sub with your SO?

SexyTabby SexyTabby
Just curious if changing roles is something easy for others or if anyone finds it difficult to change from being sub to dominate or dominate to sub.
Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):
I am a sub and would find it impossible to dominate my SO
IrishLassie
1  (8%)
I am a sub and would find it hard to dominate my SO
Dusk , potstickers , Shellz31 , Raggedy Andie , Dame Saphir , leatherlover , Morganna
7  (54%)
I am a sub and would have no problem switching roles with my SO
I am a dom and would find it impossible to be a sub with my SO
Sir
1  (8%)
I am a dom and would find it hard to be a sub with my SO
I am a dom and would have no problem switching roles with my SO
I am neither dom or sub so either role is easy for me
Darling Jen , Selective Sensualist
2  (15%)
Other - cuz I'm sure there's other senerios out there
Annemarie , Airen Wolf
2  (15%)
Total votes: 13
Poll is closed
12/30/2010
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Dusk Dusk
I'm a sub but once in a while I feel the desire to dominate my SO. I would also likely do so if he asked, or if it was part of our play that he required of me. It's difficult if I'm not in the mood mostly because I show how nervous and inexperienced I am, but it's still a lot of fun!
12/31/2010
potstickers potstickers
Quote:
Originally posted by Dusk
I'm a sub but once in a while I feel the desire to dominate my SO. I would also likely do so if he asked, or if it was part of our play that he required of me. It's difficult if I'm not in the mood mostly because I show how nervous and ... More
I agree with this. I'll dominate sometimes if I'm in the mood, or he wants me to.
12/31/2010
Shellz31 Shellz31
I personally wouldn't want to dominate my Master.
I'm more turned on by being the sub.
12/31/2010
Sir Sir
See, your choice options irritate me a bit. Being a Dominant or a submissive is a role and internal piece of character. It's not "impossible" for me to be my partner's submissive - it's QUITE possible, if I enjoy to be a false person and lead them on. But because I am myself, and I am a Dominant, I will not be fake with a partner to please them. If they cannot accept me as who I am, then they do not deserve to be graced with my time.
12/31/2010
Darling Jen Darling Jen
Well I used to think I was very much a sub and nothing else. But having a partner who was a total let down of a dom brought out more of the power in me. So now I think I'm a "switch" and can do, and would love, either position with the right partner.
12/31/2010
SexyTabby SexyTabby
Quote:
Originally posted by Sir
See, your choice options irritate me a bit. Being a Dominant or a submissive is a role and internal piece of character. It's not "impossible" for me to be my partner's submissive - it's QUITE possible, if I enjoy to be a false ... More
Sorry, wasn't meant to irritate anyone I was just irritated myself at Hubby. Though some things he enjoys and others he can do with coaching he totally lacks the ability to take charge or rather he is uncomfortable with it. I can understand not being fake with a partner but Hubby wasn't submissive when we started our life together. Nor does he have issues doing most kinky things I normally want. If he was always a sub or if I'd known there were issues I could understand it better. I feel like I put him in the position because of my own past fears. Being in control there is no fear. Twenty odd years later I have no fears and no desire to remain in control all the time in the bedroom.

Despite Hubby drooling over similar scenarios in DVDs he doesn't seem to be as open to anything different in reality. After ruining what could have been a fun evening that we both planned out together he called me a freak and told me to get a boyfriend. Wouldn't even look at me or talk to me for 4 days. It was really weird. Finally had to force him to talk to me about it which lead to nothing but acceptance that it was simply not him and life returns to normal though it would have been nice to know ahead of time instead of going through all the drama.

Just wondered if others found switching roles as hard emotionally as it was for the Hubby. I assumed it was just what we were both used too and he'd be open to changing roles especially when he didn't state otherwise on the initial planning of the night. Communication is very important.

Yeah, I could have probably worded things better to indicate emotions instead of the physical sorry if it bugged ya.
12/31/2010
Annemarie Annemarie
I most agree with the "neither, easy" option, but, my situation is a bit different.

I fill the void that my partner creates with his/her dominance/submission. If my partner is dominant, I assume the submissive role, and vice versa. I can go either way, and I'm fine with it. However, my preference is submissive.

In my current relationship, we're sort of a blend. It's really quite odd, I think. My partner and I trade spots quite often, not just in the bedroom, and it's not intentional. It just happens, and when it happens, it's not very noticeable to us. We just fall into the roles. I don't know how to describe it, really.
12/31/2010
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by SexyTabby
Just curious if changing roles is something easy for others or if anyone finds it difficult to change from being sub to dominate or dominate to sub.
All three of us are very dominant individuals but we also like to trade power in the bedroom so yes I could and do dominate either of them and they me.
12/31/2010
kawigrl kawigrl
Quote:
Originally posted by SexyTabby
Just curious if changing roles is something easy for others or if anyone finds it difficult to change from being sub to dominate or dominate to sub.
switches and switching are great: ) but identifying as one is like being "the bisexuals of bdsm" I think lots of people realistically fit loose definitions of switch or bisexual but do not like to identify as such. All forms of identity are self defined and people tend to "pick a side"...some people are more closed minded about roles and definitions and lots of people unfairly discriminate switches as well as bisexuals. its all good to me
01/01/2011
IrishLassie IrishLassie
Im a sub and I could not, would not dominate my husband. I love being dominated and he loves being in control, so it works well.
02/19/2011
Morganna Morganna
I wouldn't feel comfortable at all. I would wind up asking if I was being to rough and laugh too much.
02/20/2011
Total posts: 12
Unique posters: 11