Originally posted by
If your partner turned you down for sex and later you found them masturbating, how would you react?
I have acted like a child; threown fits, withheld affection, and generally did everything that you should never do to your partner(s).
I have learned that the mature thing to do is share the hurt feelings, and try to ascertain if this was a true with holding of sex or something different. Sometimes a partner will turn down sex due to whatever reason (genuine fatigue, pain, emotional distress) and still desire a quick release. For some people masturbation is an emotional as well as physical release. To punish a partner for this is to do terrible damage to your relationship.
Also to deny a partner's pain at having been turned dow is to do the same damage back. If you feel the need to turn down full on sex it is always better to be upfront and honest about both the reason and your need for release.
When my partner(s) and I implemented this type of behavior we gained the right to admit that what we wanted was to be totally selfish and "get off" rather than full, intimate love making. From that level of equality we are able to compromise and often make everyone happy!