So this is kinda embarrsing to admit but I am scared to be on top during sex. I have been sexually active since I was 16 and I will be 27 in two weeks. When I first started having sex I tried being on top a few times and think it went okay, but at age 19 i had a boyfriend tell me I was not very good at it and ever since I do everything in my power to avoid having to be on top. I have guys I am having sex with currently who beg me to be on top and i make up excuses every single time that I am tired of that postion is super painful for me. They buy it for a short time but if I start dating someone who sleeping with someone long term I can't avoid it forever. In the last three years i have gained over 100 pounds due to depression and meds the drs have me on for differnt things so the weight gain doesn't help matters cause it makes me want to avoid being on top even more during sex. I have tried with guys in the past to be on top and each time I actually get on top I start to get aniexty and freak out and freeze up and make up some lie about how it hurts to bad so they will change positions. I am way to freaked out to even tell a guy i am sexually active with any of this. Idk if its just that I am scared i am doing it wrong or what but its becoming a big problem in my sex life. Does anyone else ever experince this? Ladies if you were me wnhat would you do? Guys if a girl told you this or gtried to be on top and sucked what would you say do or think? advice welcomed thanks.