Losing your virginity

That was hilarious.

I didn't have sex as a teenager though. But as a teenger, I did give a handjob to a guy that I was dating and it lasted less than 60 seconds before he had an orgasm. I didn't even use lube or lotion. I remember thinking "That was it? that was fast.. and oh, there's creamy white stuff on my carpet now.. great.."

I guess he was more than thrilled to have a girl touching him (for the very first time).

Is it possible that it lasted less than 60 seconds? I swear it did. But that was a long time ago. And I quickly found out how lame that guy was. I can't blame him for blowing so quickly, but it became clear that all he cared about was his good time. That may have been why I secured my virginity for the right guy. I guess I have the wrong guy to thank.

I also wonder if (for some teenagers) having sex is a way for them to feel powerful and in control. I mean, some kids have a pretty crappy family life with sucky parents. Having sex probably makes teenagers feel like they have some power in this otherwise crazy world. Does that make sense? I think that's why it is important to educate teenagers and show them that sex can be positive and that you don't have to rush into it. I'd rather see a teenager use sex toys to explore their creativity than have risky sex. Why don't they talk about sex toys in high schools? (oh dear, did I just say that? I suppose that's a no-no)

I guess they probably can't legally talk about sex toys in high school because you have to be 18 to buy them. You can buy condoms at any age I suppose? I'm not sure of the laws.

Advice? Not until married, LOL!

Nah I never did anything as a teen. In fact even up to college I thought it was disgusting. Still on the fence about it even tho I lost it at 21. Am also an abuse victim, especially from my mother at a very early age. I did it more for my guy, not for me. He wants to marry me as soon as he's done with college, and we were each other's firsts. We still don't know wtf we're doing, but it's long distance and we only saw each other once. I'm seeing a psychologist, she helps me with it and everything else. But now my birth control has killed my drive completely, am off it, but still waiting for it to return. If I'm left without a drive for the rest of my life, I'll be calling off that marriage proposal, however--it's not fair to him, and I don't like sharing, either, so I'd rather cut him loose.

However if my dad found out or his parents that we lost it, oh man we'd be in for it. My dad says not until married and his parents, well.... bible thumpers explains it all, and I'm not even Christian, so this is going to be very, very fun in the coming years.... [/end sarcasm]

Hmmm... well, I personally think most teenage sex is bad sex...just sloppy, unfulfilling, awkward sex. And it teaches you many things: what you do and don't like, to lose some of your inhibitions, to not be guilted into sex or made to feel weird. I know this sounds very general - but I think it's true. I, a mother of 2 children, think people need to have stupid, awkward bad sex to get to comfortable awesome sex. Not necessarily as teenagers - but as part of the journey to self discovery and understanding sexuality. I would probably tell my teen self not to let anyone make me feel weird or slutty for wanting to have sex - or wanting to have a fucking orgasm when I had sex.

As the mother of no children, it's hard for me to say what I would do with my own kids, but I can remember being a teen and wanting to have sex. My advice would be to value yourself more than anything and realize it's not going to be the end of the world if you decide to wait for another time. Don't feel pressured to do something you don't want to do. I don't think most teens under the age of 18 have a clue of what's involved, and many over the age of 18 don't either, but I would hope to impart to them to only do it for the right reasons, and not just because everyone else is doing it or because some guy says he'll drop you if you don't.

Don't think that having sex will change things...