Men using toys on women--to turn her on or you?

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Men using toys on women--to turn her on or you?

Inkblot Inkblot
I realize that using toys as a couple can be a turn-on for BOTH, obviously, but I'm wondering if men mainly use toys on their women because the women want it and you are simply being generous? Or did you, men, have to convince your female partner/wife to let you use a toy on her because it was your idea? I'm wondering how men feel about the use of toys in their relationships because the majority of toys, let's face it, are aimed towards women.
02/15/2010
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Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Very interesting question! We've been at this toy thing for a very long time. Up until about a year ago 100% of them were for her. It was definitely my idea - if she thought of it, in those days she would have been too shy to mention it.

By the same token, I did not have to do much arm twisting to get her to go along. So the question is - did she have a desire - or was she just going along? I honestly don't know - but now I'm going to ask!

The other question is why did I do it? Thinking back - I was just your typical 30-something husband who wanted to have sex way more often than my wife. Having pretty much exhausted all of the advice for manual and oral stimulation - it was kind of a natural next step.

Lastly - your right - it does turn me on. The process of shopping, ordering, then introducing them to my wife is erotic for me. Since I travel a lot, I often create a card, print out the reviews - and get to her to try out the new toy while I'm on the road. When I get back I get a lesson on what works best!

Needless to say - she's come a long way baby!
02/15/2010
Jimbo Jones Jimbo Jones
My partner was pretty hesitant about toys at first as well. I always considered them as a way to provide her with additional sensation and stimulation not as a replacement for me. Over time she has started using them on her own more and more and has used them to explore anal by herself as well which has opened her up to more anal play during our love making sessions together as well. We don't always use toys in our sessions together, but there is usually a bullet vibe that helps to get things started at the very least. I was definitely the one who started the process for us.
As for whether it just turns her on or both of us. When I am using them on her they primarily turn her on, but her excitement gets me excited. If it's a toy for both of us, then if it turns both of us on it is a success and if it just turns one of us on it is a failure. We do have several toys that are for me, and I enjoy those quite a bit.
02/16/2010
Two Loves Two Loves
I definitely enjoy watching her play with toys. She enjoys most of them although there are a couple I think she only enjoys because i enjoy watching her so much.
02/17/2010
Sir Sir
I enjoy using things on her for both reasons, as it pleasures me when I'm pleasuring her. It isn't one way or the other for us. I have not had to convince her in any way, no, and she has not had to convince me. We've rarely spoken about such things. I have gotten what looks good, and used them on her at random times and she's enjoyed them. I absolutely love using things on her, but I prefer to actually use my hands and my penis as opposed to toys. Vibrators are fun to use on her for teasing, but aside from that, my hands are much more pleasurable to us both.
02/17/2010
xchairitycasex xchairitycasex
I know you asked for mens opinions but im chiming in for my boyfriend
I was the one who ALWAYS buys and uses and suggests the toys he HATES going into "toy" stores he feels embarressed although he really likes watching me use them on myself he doesnt like sueing couples toys(cock rings,bullets) or useing toys on me which is really disapointing ive asked him before if he feels that the toys are bringing me more pleasure and he says no he just doesnt like useing them. which is a little dissapointing becuase i have bought many couples toys in hopes or him wanting to use them.
02/28/2010
Fun Lover Fun Lover
I purchase all of our toys. We used to only use them when together or I would use them solo. Lately I have found that she has been using them solo also when I ask her about it she doesn't like talking about it she think I'm perverted. I buy them to please her but I love to watch her also. Now she will use them on me, oh how things change.
02/28/2010
Kynky Kytty Kynky Kytty
It's funny, because I have just written a blog post about my ex-boyfriend who would not use them on me. Apparently, it did not turn him on and would not do it as a generous favor for me.
02/28/2010
Raven Raven
Quote:
Originally posted by Kynky Kytty
It's funny, because I have just written a blog post about my ex-boyfriend who would not use them on me. Apparently, it did not turn him on and would not do it as a generous favor for me. ...
I read your blog post and I am intrigued. It's a shame you can't get him to change his mind because it could obviously be a wonderful addition to your sexual activities.
02/28/2010
Raven Raven
My husband loves using toys on me, although his preference is to blend the toy use with his hands and penis. He leaves all the toy buying to me, and that is perfectly fine. He also likes when I use toys on him and he has become a real fan of pegging and anal play.
02/28/2010
Magician Magician
We as a couple use toys since she has a difficult time orgasming from intercourse alone. Vibrating cock rings and small clitoral vibrators have made sex much more enjoyable for the both of us.
02/28/2010
trios trios
I have introduced a dildo during our lovemaking, and my wife just recently has gotten used to it. She cums strongly when I go down on her with a dildo in place for a simulated threesome. I think she is starting to really like it!
04/07/2010
Kynky Kytty Kynky Kytty
Quote:
Originally posted by Raven
I read your blog post and I am intrigued. It's a shame you can't get him to change his mind because it could obviously be a wonderful addition to your sexual activities.
I'm sorry for not having seen your comment before. Well since he's my ex, it's not that much of a shame anymore. But he was strict about not wanting to try anything out of his comfort zone, and since I respected his decision I did not insist very much.

I'll make sure to be with someone more open-minded and adventurous next time.
04/07/2010
Liz2 Liz2
My b/f wants to use toys on me but honestly, I can't take it. He enjoys watching me and exploring with his hands.
It seems my bod is overly sensitive to his movements with toys...too hard, difficult to find and work the exact pleasure spot. So other then a clit vibe, I drive!
04/08/2010
Cats Meow Cats Meow
my boyfriend was the one who first brought it up wanting to use the toys. he sent me a few "toy" websites (this one not being one of them...i found this later... )and wanted me to get a vibrator. So i did and told him to pick out something and he picked out a cock ring. he loved using the toys on me and now we love looking online together or in a store for other items
07/21/2010
dibberdabber dibberdabber
I research them, I buy them, I introduce them. My partner is shy and reluctant. She mostly allows them for me, but I have noticed her becoming a little more interested lately. If she doesn't want to use them, I am fine with that. As Gunsmoke stated, I had exhausted most avenues of stimulation so it seemed like the next step. Definitely more curiousity and attraction on my part. I love and respect her, so I would trash them all if she remotely mentioned it.
07/21/2010
Ciao. Ciao.
I was the one who introduced toys into our relationship and definitely use them with her because I really enjoy seeing her pleasured in a lot of different ways. I can't speak for anyone else, but regardless of what toys are designed for most toys aimed at women can be equally enjoyed by men if used in the right ways...plus I really find it very enjoyable to use a toy on my (female) partner since it gives me an opportunity to please her in ways that I can't and can really enhance the enjoyment.
07/21/2010
trios trios
I also have been the one to introduce sex toys to my wife. At first she was insulted and disgusted. Now she allows it and enjoys it, and has asked for it occasionally! As long as she feels that they are not present each and every time, I can see her wanting them more. Actually I should take the hint and get her a vibrator now that you mention it...
07/21/2010
Total posts: 18
Unique posters: 15