I chose the middle option, but it totally depends on the attitude of my partner. One of my exes asked if he could do it once and I said "sure, why not?" and I thought it would be fine, but while in the middle of the act he started talking like he was narrating a bad porn movie and it felt really demeaning. It was uncomfortable for me psychologically.
With my current partner, sometimes we are just in the mood to get dirty, literally, and once we were frolicking and I got a couple stripes on my face, I think truly by accident, and he looked at me like he was some mixture of terrified but also really turned on and said it was the sexiest thing he had ever seen and started kissing me. From then on it was totally okay in our relationship, because I know it really turns him on, but not in a demeaning ownership way, more like just as a part of being covered in each others sweat and other fluids when we're really going at it. Practically speaking we usually ask each other in the form of dirty talk, like "hey baby, I want you so bad, will you come on my face" or he'll say "you look so hot, can I come on your face" and it works for us! If I'm not in the mood I just say "no I want to feel you in me" or whatever strikes me at the moment.