Originally posted by
- Kira -
All of that!
Of course some women do, but you can't make a generalization on all females based on some. The more it's said "women use sex as a weapon" the more women will think that's what they're supposed to do. I
All of that!
Of course some women do, but you can't make a generalization on all females based on some. The more it's said "women use sex as a weapon" the more women will think that's what they're supposed to do. I even fell into that trap for a while because so many people seemed to act like that was the thing to do. I wasn't happy doing it because I actually *gasp* enjoy sex. I don't want to barter for it or use it as a tool to get what I want. I want to have mutually enjoyable sex.
I also second that this assumes women don't actually want sex and that they just do it as means to some other end. This is not the case with many women, myself included.
And a big wtf to that example. You watch your kid because you're a parent, not because you want a blow job. W.T.F.
Yeah, he's kind of an awful person. Doesn't work, doesn't contribute income, makes her pay for the nanny to watch the babe while he's sitting at home doing nothing and she's working to pay the bills for the house he lives in and then expects sexual favors because he's taking time out of doing nothing to watch the kid so she can work during the busiest, most lucrative season of the year. As someone else i know commented: Oh, he's a catch, just like the ebola virus." And he's a total misogynist to boot. It infuriates me. But i digress.
Kira, as usual, we agree. You summed up exactly what i meant when i said "society plants the seed of the idea that sex can be used as a weapon and women fall into the expectation, and may also fall into the expectation that they aren't supposed to have sexual needs and desires and enjoy sex as much as men." We're taught growing up through tv, books, movies, etc., possibly by example of adult women in our lives, possibly even because some adult female role model teaches us, that "women use sex as a weapon" and the expectation that we're supposed to do this, along with all the implications of not enjoying sex and the suppression of our sex that come with it are ingrained in us. So many of us grow up and attempt to follow this expectation, and then, like you, are confused when we aren't happy because we actually want the sex we're withholding or using to manipulate our partner and thus not getting our needs met. But wait, we're women, we're not supposed to have sexual needs. Enter confusion. And possibly even more suppression.
Of course the "women use sex as a weapon" myth is just one of thousands of such ideas that cause similar chain reactions that ultimately result in generation after generation of confused, repressed, sexually stunted women.