Sex after kids?

onehotmomma onehotmomma
I've had 2 kids, and I'm 27 years old. My bf and i have been together for 5 years, and he's 25. I had my last child 2 months ago. When I went in for my doctors visit last, She asked me something that made me wonder. She wanted to know if we needed to be referred to any sort of sexual guidance counselor to get the "spice" back, and to make Sex good again. Apparently she seemed to think that after having kids sex sucks?

I have personally found it exactly the opposite, sex is TONS better after having kids, but I want to know what everyone else thinks!
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Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Originally posted by onehotmomma
I've had 2 kids, and I'm 27 years old. My bf and i have been together for 5 years, and he's 25. I had my last child 2 months ago. When I went in for my doctors visit last, She asked me something that made me wonder. She wanted to know if ...
Lots of Doctors are trying to become more sensitive to the changes that women and couples go through after the births of their children. It's a good thing and shows your Dr. actually cares about your emotional well being as well as your body health! For most of us (not me oddly enough, my Dr. is very concerned that I am emotionally fit...I had him ask the same question 6 months ago at my infant's well child check) the Dr. just assumes things will get back to normal or we'll be too tired to care about fireworks in the bedroom. A change of libido, however, can indicate major health problems. For me it was a thyroid gland that had begun to simply shut off, I needed more B vitamins and a low dose replacement which my Dr. caught when I complained about not feeling 'in the mood'. My husband pushed the issue and I was properly treated and began to feel better very quickly.

I doubt your Dr. thinks sex sucks after giving birth but rather is looking for any indication that you might still be feeling 'blue' or 'off'. Besides getting a "No, thanks" is a hell of alot better than reading about a couple breaking up over a loss of sex drive! Babies need a stable homelife and if a bit of counseling or some mild drug therapy can help that, well halleluia! I'd sasy you got yourself a great Dr. or at least one who is trying to be.

Could also be tht you've got some amazing insurance and they provide the service for you...or there is a new counselor in town and is getting the word out. Either way what a great thing to have available, so many crazy things happen when we give birth!
Pleasure Piratess Pleasure Piratess
Very well-put Airen!
And I agree, it is better.
Passionate Pastor Passionate Pastor
We have to be sneakier about sex which adds and added excitement.
Kim! Kim!
I haven't found any problems! I'm 27 and I have a 4 year old. My sex drive has always been pretty high and that hasn't really changed.
Sammi Sammi
I think it's great your doctor is like that

I think sex is better after having kids too, especially now that we aren't worrying about birth control.
ToyTimeTim ToyTimeTim
After two kids ours is better.
onehotmomma onehotmomma
I'm glad my doctor cares, but it caught me off guard, I've been going to the same place since I was 18, she's never asked me about it before, and even after my first kid when I was the one asking about getting something for the baby blues never mentioned it.

I think part of the fun is being sneaky haha, It does make it hard with 2 babies.
P'Gell P'Gell
I certainly did find my libido dropped for a while after the birth of each baby. Nonstop physical contact with an other person, you get "touched out" and when that kid is asleep, you just want to NOT have to touch someone! Also, lack of sleep can certainly wreak havok with your sex life. I remember thinking that an hour of extra sleep would beat out sex when my kids were really small.

My kids were NOT good sleepers (none of them "slept through the night" until after a year) I breastfed my kids for years each, (the first one only 15 months, but it's still a long time) and my TIME was taken up with child care.

Not that My Man was ignored. In fact, he reminded me that when our youngest was only home from the hospital a day, I was sleeping on a blow up mattress on the bedroom floor, because of the C Section I couldn't get into our bed, I was in pain from the C Sec, from sore nipples, from a chunk of tissue which was ripped off when they removed the sterile cover after the C Section and the tissue missing was RIGHT where my leg bent at the hip, I was in PAIN. But, he said I got the baby to sleep, put her in her Moses basket, and said to him. "Somebody needs a blowjob!" then proceeded to pleasure my long suffering Man. I barely remember this, but he said it is one of his sweetest memories.

I can understand how one's sex life will suffer after the birth of a baby. My doctors never asked, in the old days, we just used to suffer silently.

Taking care of small babies is a LOT of work it's actually exhausting. But, keeping some connection to your partner is also important.
jennydanger jennydanger
i find that my cervix is super sensitive since my 3rd child was born in may. when he thrusts hard it hurts. but also have an iud too.maybe that is why.

my libido only suffers on days that i get no rest at all. since i have also begun babysitting i run around all day and only get 4 hours of sleep at night.

i'd say that 3 out of 7 nights he gets a hand/blow job, 4 we actually have sex.

sidenote, we only waited 5 days after baby to resume sex because we both wanted it so much.
Mari Fanger Mari Fanger
i think that its good that drs r starting to care about relationships, its a very important aspect of child rearing, and two well balanced parents is way better than having an inner issue and never knowing about it.

As for me and my fiance sex was better after having our child.
onehotmomma onehotmomma
Our sex is a lot less often now, with a whiny baby. I think thats what makes the sex more exciting.
Total posts: 12
Unique posters: 10